ass clown of the month … “she talks crazy talk”

ass clown of the month by hip is everything

Crazy talk:
Talk that makes no sense at all.
Talking outta your ass.
Talking stupid.
Talking shit.
The ramblings of a madman(woman).
GOP talking points.

hey, there could be no better way to pay tribute to a true ass clown of epic proportions than to honor their “leaving the public arena” with a look back on the career of one of the greatest ass clowns of all time …
michele “crazy eyes” bachmann …
ass clown of the month
good riddance you low information, clueless, flake …

gop must be crazy by hip is everything

who could ever forget such memorable bachmanisms such as:
“We’re running out of rich people in this country.”
or “My husband and I had five biological children but we also have been raising 23 foster children.”
or “Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too.”
(Bachmann, who is from Iowa, mistook John Wayne the actor for John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer.)
or “I will tell you that I had a mother last night come up to me here in Tampa, Florida, after the debate. She told me that her little daughter took that vaccine that injection and she suffered from mental retardation thereafter.”
or “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. … I think it is high time that we recognize the contribution of our forbearers who worked tirelessly — men like John Quincy Adams, who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country.” -Rep. Michele Bachmann, botching American history while speaking at an Iowan’s for Tax Relief event in January 2011. (The Founding Fathers did not work to end slavery, and John Quincy Adams was not one of the Founding Fathers … He was eight.)
or “Before we get started, let’s all say ‘Happy Birthday’ to Elvis Presley today.”
(on the anniversary of the king’s death)

-you just know that somewhere out there a village is looking for their missing idiot-

or “Carbon dioxide is natural, it is not harmful, it is a part of Earth’s lifecycle. And yet we’re being told that we have to reduce this natural substance, reduce the American standard of living, to create an arbitrary reduction in something that is naturally occurring in Earth.”
or “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world at Lexington and Concord.”
(Mistaking New Hampshire where she was speaking at the time, for Massachusetts)
or “I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.” –Rep. Michele Bachmann, suggesting at a presidential campaign event in Florida that the 2011 East Coast earthquake and hurricane was a message from God (Aug. 2011)
or “Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord says, ‘Be submissive wives; you are to be submissive to your husbands.” -Rep. Michele Bachmann, recalling in a 2006 speech at a Megachurch in Minneapolis that pursuing tax law wasn’t her choice, but she did so at the urging of her husband because she was certain God was speaking through him.
or “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.” -Rep. Michele Bachmann, on the 1976 Swine Flu outbreak that happened when Gerald Ford, a Republican, was president, April 28, 2009
or “If we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” -Michele Bachmann, Jan. 2005
or “I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back.”
or “A woman (Terri Schiavo) was healthy. There was brain damage, there was no question. But from a health point of view, she was not terminally ill.”
or “This cannot pass. What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.”

-just make up yer’ own captions for this one-

or”And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
or “Lady Liberty and Sarah Palin are lit by the same torch.” (oh, i wish)
or “The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. Its all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.”
or “Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (Senator Michele Bachmann, on homosexuality as a mental disorder, speaking at EdWatch National Education Conference, November 6, 2004.)
or “This is a very serious matter, because it is our children who are the prize for this community, they are specifically targeting our children.”  (Senator Michele Bachmann, on the gay community and same-sex marriage, appearing as guest on radio program “Prophetic Views Behind The News”, hosted by Jan Markell, KKMS 980-AM, March 20, 2004.)
or “Help! I’m being held against my will.” Michele’s perfectly rational response when two women run into her in a ladies’ room and ask her about her position on LGBT rights. In addition to her cry for help, Michele files a complaint with the police alleging, according to the police report, “she had no idea what those two women were going to do to her.” The county prosecutor refuses to press the charges, realizing that constituents have a right to talk to a politician.
oh yeah, and my personal fave … that time she wouldn’t look directly at the cnn camera, probably because she thought the liberal media would steal her soul …
and here’s just a few of her best lines on the health care and well being of the american public …
“The IRS is going to be “in charge” of “a huge national database” on health care that will include Americans’ “personal, intimate, most close-to-the-vest-secrets.”

The IRS is “going to be in charge of our health care.”

“The IRS will have the ability potentially to deny or delay health care.”

“Scientists tell us that we could have a cure in 10 years for Alzheimer’s” were it not for overzealous regulators, excessive taxation and greedy litigators.”

“Of every three dollars in food stamps for the needy, seven dollars in salaries and pensions (go to) the bureaucrats who are supposed to be taking care of the poor.”

-the happy (?) couple-

during the run up to the 2012 presidential election it got so bad that ap had to impose quotas on it’s fact checking so that they could get to deadlines on time …
Pathological liar Bachmann forces AP to impose ‘fact check’ quota 
Do you think you had it rough trying to make sense of the countless quips spewed from the mouth of Rep. Michele Bachmann on the campaign trail? The AP had to implement a Bachmann-specific standard for fact checking during her presidential run.
Speaking before members of the National Press Club this week, Associated Press Editor Jim Drinkard told fellow reporters that when it comes to getting to the truth, some subjects require a little bit of extra scrutiny. Take Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota), for example, whose failed attempt at securing the GOP’s nomination for presidency last year was highlighted by a hilarious collection of factually inaccurate gaffes and goofs.
For the AP, though, her rampant and ridiculous outbursts weren’t exactly fun and games.
“We had to have a self-imposed Michele Bachmann quota in some of those debates,” Drinkard told attendees at his address.
AP articles involving the congresswoman had to be repeatedly vetted for accuracy, Drinkard added, causing an “overload” at times when she was involved in select stories.
“Often she was just more prone to statements that just didn’t add up,” Drinkard added.
Until she resigned from the Republican Party race, Bachmann was notorious on the campaign trail for touting imaginary facts and erring on seemingly everything under the sun. Despite these mistakes, however, she still managed to be an early favorite among GOP voters, placing first in the Ames Straw Poll in Iowa in August 2011. Over the course of only a few months, however, that support waned as, coincidentally, the congresswoman increasingly ad-libbed during presidential debates and dropped countless incorrect statements to the media.
At the height of her popularity last summer, Rep. Bachmann warned that “the rise of the Soviet Union” posed a very real threat to a United States in the midst of America’s “unstoppable decline.” Weeks later, she suggested that Cuba was in cahoots with terrorists aligned with Hezbollah and that violent extremists “could have training camps or perhaps have missile sites or weapons sites in Cuba,” without ever introducing any evidence.
In December, the then-candidate’s publicist had to put out a press release after she once again erred on America’s foreign policy, advocating that she would close down the US embassy in Iran if president — more than 20 years after it had already been done.
“Congresswoman Bachmann is a member of the House Select Committee on Intelligence and is fully aware that we do not have an embassy in Iran and have not had one since 1980,” her camp was coaxed into admitting. “She was agreeing with the actions taken by the British to secure their embassy personnel and was speaking in the hypothetical, that if she was President of the United States and if we had an embassy in Iran, she would have taken the same actions as the British.”
Bachmann formally ended her run for the White House in January.

C-PAC speech earns Michelle Bachmann 4 liar awards
Senator Rand Paul may have won the C-PAC straw poll last weekend, but the big winner at the conservative conclave was Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (R-MN). Bachmann managed to win four awards from fact-checkers in one speech—for being untruthful.
The Minnesota Republican, a former presidential candidate, has been out of the public view since she nearly lost her seat in Congress last November despite the huge Republican registration advantage in her district. She surfaced at the C-PAC conference last weekend giving a speech to a sparse audience. The committed Republicans who showed up witnessed a historical speech by the former Chairwoman of the Tea Party Caucus.
Bachmann’s speech contained the most vicious attacks on the president of any speech at C-PAC—and that is saying something. She began by saying that taxpayers are paying $1.4 billion a year to fund the “excessive life style of Barack and Michelle Obama.”
Michelle Bachman won 4 liar awards for her perormance at C-PAC. She even drew the wrath o Fox News host Bill O’Reilley.
She ran through a list of those “excesses” saying the she just learned that the president had “five chefs on Air Force One.” She said that taxpayers were paying for “two projectionists in the White House movie theater” and they often had to spend the night just in case the president or Michelle want to watch a late night flick.
But the Congresswoman did not stop there. She said that 70% of all taxpayer money that is intended to help the poor “benefits bureaucrats in Washington D.C.” She went on to say “This translates into just $3 (out of every $10) in food stamps going to the needy.” She asked the crowd: “how does this show that our president cares about the poor?” And the crowd went wild.
On Monday fact checkers awarded Bachmann their highest award for lies—a record breaking 4 separate awards. The Washington Post Fact Checker gave her “4 Pinocchios” for the statements about the excessive life style of the Obama. That is the highest number of Pinocchios one can receive.
She won another “4 Pinocchios” for asserting that 70% of all money intended for the poor including food stamps went to bureaucrats in Washington. In fact, the Washington Post Fact Checker said “there really aren’t enough Pinocchios for such misleading use of statistics in a major speech.
Perhaps the Fact Checker needs to initiate another tier when 4 Pinnochios are not enough. Maybe after the 4 Pinnochios, a liar could start earning “Bachmanns.”

Politifact gave her their highest rating for liars as well—the” Pants on Fire” designation for her false statements about bureaucrats getting 70% of the money intended for the poor. She won yet another “Pants on Fire” award for her whopper about Alzheimer’s. Bachmann said that scientists say that there would be a cure for Alzheimer’s in 10 years were it not for “overzealous regulators, excessive taxation and greedy litigators.” Politifact investigated and found the statement had no basis in fact.

So she won 4 top prizes for lies—all in one speech and the crowd loved it.
Michelle Bachmann is known for her stupid comments and gaffes. In this speech, however, she has gone beyond stupid and is playing fast and loose with the truth. Apparently she felt she needed to pull all the stops out to compete with Sarah Palin, Ted Cruz, and Donald Trump who also spoke at C-PAC.
Bachmann’s rant did not go unnoticed by Fox News. Bill O’Reilly, known for his own on-air rants, blasted Bachmann for her rant at C-PAC. It takes a lot for one to be too crazy for Bill O-Reilly.

oh michele, you fear mongering, hate fuelled, homophobic bigot, we in the blogosphere (and i’m sure those in late night comedy) are gonna miss ya’ …
what will we do without you? …
oh yeah, there’s still ted “i hate everyone” cruz, paul “ayn” ryan, jim “gimme the money” demint, rand “crazy as my dad” paul, john “dr. demento” mccain, lindsey “the lap dog” graham, hannity the manatee, rush limpballs, louis “bat shit crazy” gohmert, peter “there’s islamists everywhere!” king, and on, and on, and on …
still, good riddance …

michele bachmann …
ass clown of the month


3 thoughts on “ass clown of the month … “she talks crazy talk”

    • umm…I doubt it… seems like gohmert, cruz et al have finally captured the party … they’ll need to be wiped out electorally to change, much like the conservatives (mulroneey gov’t) north of the 49th a number of years back …

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