d-bag of the week … “ya’ gotta know when to hold ‘em, and know when to shoot ‘em”

d-bag of the week by hip is everything

well, it’s that time again, we’ve had another week chock bloody full of scheming, lying politicians, incoherent, ass kissing, dog whistle blowing, incessantly blathering, windbag broadcasters and pointless, prevaricating pontificating pricks, and it’s time to answer the question that needs to be answered kids …
just who took their act to the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, the slimiest of the slimy? …
who was the king or queen of douchebaggery in the last seven days? …
a week that was, as per usual, full of some of the slimiest, sleaziest, slithering, scuzzball serpents the world of poll pandering, petulant and pithy partisan politics, fanatical, frenzied, far fetched faith freaks, and the exorbitant, exaggerated and exuberant elitist acquisitiveness, avarice and avidity that big business (aka politics, religion and corporatocracy) has to offer …
and this week was as bad as every other lately, the norm these days it seems, with more than it’s fair share of despicable, degenerate douche bag dancing, misogynistic, mean-minded and mendacious manoeuvres, slimy, sickening, sleaze-ball slithering, repugnant, reprehensible, repulsive and revolting rantings and railings, and an out and out torrent of treasonous talk and treacherous temper tantrums …
especially by the so-called “family values” gang over on the right and their bat shit crazy, bullshit bellowing, ideologically inane, greed grovelling, greasy grifters and prevaricating, petulant, pompous and pointlessly pious proponents …
in the end, as we always do, we found our winner …
and a rather deserving one, if I do say so myself …
and even though this week’s winner was not without a copiously crammed cornucopia of conniving, classless, clueless, crass and cretinous challengers to that majestic mantle of  mediocrity, mendacity, meandering mindlessness and missteps we like to call the “d-bag of the week, we do have a winner …
leading off the week was everybody’s favorite car thief and arsonist, darrell “gasbags” issa, a renowned self flagellator and self aggrandizer whining and moaning about how he, king of the hateful and lie filled attack, wasn’t being taken seriously
cry me a river you lying, mccarthyesque scumbag …
this was quickly followed by nobody’s favorite congress once again defunding another imaginary boogeyman (acorn … who were disbanded a couple of years back after a particularly heinous and fact deprived campaign by john of orange, cantor the ranter and their petulant and fact starved pals at faux noise) …
what’s next boner? …
you gonna outlaw leprechauns and faeries? …
cut the subsidies to unicorn ranches? …
or just repeal obamacare for the 957th time? …
jesus h. christ …
how about a fucking jobs bill, you lazy, inept, self serving, worthless, money sucking corporate whores? …
or how about the administration’s shameful refusal to sign onto the first international treaty regulating the $85 billion-a-year global arms trade? …
how do you spell “political cowardice”? …
for (insert deity of yer’ choice here) sake guys, only syria, north korea, iran and wayne “blood for money” lapierre over at the nra were against this one …
queen of the baggers, michele “the hateful dodger” bachmann is under investigation by the feds for a laundry list of illegalities and wrongdoings, or as she likes to call them, christian patriotism …
and all the while she of the crazy eyes is still screeching like a banshee in the throws of rapture that “obama is corrupt!” and that “we must repeal obamacare!” …
maybe some time in a nice orange, federally issued jumpsuit will cool this idiot down, who knows …
one can only hope …
this week also featured the gop upping the ante in their never ending campaign to dehumanize, marginalize and demonize women
we had congresswoman marsha “anything for a buck” blackburn saying that women “don’t want” equal pay laws … instead she claims that they just want to be treated fairly … i don’t even understand how the fuck that insane line of reasoning works …
or how about georgia’s own senator of senility, saxby chambliss trying his best to let the armed forces off the hook on the epidemic of rape and sexual abuse they currently find themselves suffering from by postulating that “The young folks coming in to each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22 or 23,”  “Gee-whiz, the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur. So, we’ve got to be very careful on our side.” …
what a doucherocket! …
i say bend this old coot over a prison bunk and let’s see how he likes “these types of things occurring” in his nether regions …
then, the all white, all male cabal of grifters and cretins known as the republicans in the house judiciary subcommittee voted to expand rep. trent “the misogynist” franks’ (r-ariz.) proposed d.c. abortion bill to apply to the whole country and advanced the bill favorably to the full committee …
the bill would ban abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy in the united states in all cases except those in which the mother’s life is in danger …
remember “only the gop know what’s right for “legitimate” women” …
the bradley manning trial began this week …
what a complete and utter sham this one is …
so much for transparency, and cleaning “the place up” eh mr. president …
shame on you sir …
not to mention the “revelation” of america’s worst kept secret with the “news” that the obama administration was tapping every single phone call of every single verizon customer whether they were under suspicion of anything or not … and i’ll never believe in a million years that only verizon customers are affected by this obvious infringement of the american public’s privacy …
then the very next day comes word that they’re also monitoring the vast majority of the citizenry’s internet use …
every email, search, download, upload, posting, video you watch, you name it …
so be careful on yer’ next late night porno tour granny …
yup, quite the week …
and i haven’t even begun to list half the bat shit crazy crap that went on …
so who was our winner? …
without further ado …
ladies and gentlemen …
the envelope please …
our latest winner …
of the rarely coveted, always deserved …

golden d-bag award
is …
none other than …

ezekiel gilbert and the jury who freed him …


Jury Acquits Man for Murder of Escort Who Refused Sex
Source: Think Progress
A Texas jury acquitted a man for the murder of a woman he hired as an escort, after his lawyers claimed he was authorized to use deadly force because she refused sex.
Ezekiel Gilbert shot Lenora Ivie Frago in the neck on Christmas Eve, after she denied his requests for sex and wouldn’t return the $150 he had paid her, according to the San Antonio Express-News. Under Texas law, an individual is authorized to use deadly force to “retrieve stolen property at night,” and Gilbert’s lawyers cited that provision as justification for Gilbert’s action, reasoning that Frago had stolen $150 from him by taking his money without delivering sex. In a police interview played for jurors, Gilbert “never mentioned anything about theft,” a detective told the San Antonio Express-News. Frago, who was 21, was critically injured and died several months later.
While the shooting of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in Florida has generated notoriety for NRA-backed Stand Your Ground laws, which authorize the unfettered use of deadly force without a duty to retreat in defense of one’s person or home, Texas’ exceedingly broad law goes well beyond this, to allow deadly force in protection of any piece of “tangible” or “movable” property.
The Texas provision authorizes deadly force not only to “retrieve stolen property at night” but also during “criminal mischief in the nighttime” and even to prevent someone who is fleeing immediately after a theft during the night or a burglary or robbery, so long as the individual “reasonably” thinks the property cannot be protected by other means.
read more here …

ezekiel gilbert and the jury who freed him …
because one’s as bad as the other …
our douche-bags of the week
we salute you …
hip is everything salute

NOTE: top texas gop teabagger ken emanuelson was close to making the list with his “I’m going to be real honest with you, the Republican Party doesn’t want black people to vote if they’re going to vote 9-to-1 for Democrats” quote, but hey, he was just telling the truth
NOTE: our winners were from texas this week too …
is it something in the water? …
just wonderin’ …

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