ass clown of the year … 2013 …

ass clown of the year 2013 by hip is everything

as long as i’ve been ranting, raving, bitching and writing about politics, religion and the world of the self serving, self appointed (or unduly elected), self righteous, self-aggrandizing and pompous “know it alls” that we call our leaders, i have honestly never seen such a gang of greedy, asinine, arrogant,  ignorant, empathy free, blathering, blustering, bloviators and out and out con men and grifters …
these pompous, preening, prevaricating pricks even topped last years clown show …
the one everyone knew as the “year of the mittens” …
and that’s goin’ some baby! …
combined with an almost universal lack of empathy for their fellow man, and an almost unbelievable unwillingness to even pretend to listen to or care for their “constituents” this year’s batch of human train wrecks, wastes of skin and semi-sentient sideshow freak-fests really, truly, without any doubt, made 2013 the greatest “year of the ass clown” yet …
and our nominees for this year’s never coveted, richly deserved award are:

john “of orange” boehner
boehnera return nominee from 2012, the tan man really outdid himself this year with his near constant weeping, slurring, cotton-mouthed, lick lipping, stammering and bourbon induced rantings …
throw in the nicotine stained, hangover inspired gesturing and ramblings and this guy looked more like a back alley wino in a 30 dollar suit than the speaker of the house …
speaker of the souse seems so much more appropriate …
he so reminds me of that uncle everyone hopes won’t show up for the family get together, because well, those events are usually bad enough on their own …
he displayed less control over his bagger fueled caucus than a sugar addled five year old with twelve crack addicted monkeys on a rubber leash …
and, he has consistently displayed the finesse of a deaf, dumb and blind bomb squad technician with palsy …
plus, how do you trust a sixty something year old, always weeping drunk with the skin color of carrot top’s hair to run anything? …


snitch mcconnell
another returnee from last years slag-fest of fools festivities, Front of a painted turtle.this crusty, cantankerous old crank, who has now made it his life’s work to “ensure that barrack obama is now “only a two term president”, makes clint eastwood and his chair look like freaking stephen hawking when it comes to making sense, and makes jeffrey dahmer seem a little mother teresa-ish when it comes to compassion …
the man is a truly heartless wasted experiment in human behavior …
the kentucky kook spent the entire year again perfecting the art of the filibuster, even getting so carried away with it that he wound up filibustering his own bills in a display of pettiness and obstructionism that would have made a mafia boss on a witness stand look like a cuckolded mr. cooperative …
this grifter is the wayne gretzky/michael jordan of filibusters …
no matter what the american people want or need, the louisville turtle boy is sure to stand in the way of it …


cantor the ranter
the last of our returnees from last year’s gala o’ greed, dumb and dumber by hip is everythingthis tea-baggin’ doucherocket is one of washington’s most accomplished and well practiced ass-lickers and back-stabbers …
and in a city chock fucking full of ass-licking and back-stabbing ass clowns that’s really saying something …
when eric wants what he wants (and usually “he wants it now!) there is no turd he won’t polish and no knob he won’t gobble to get his way …
the man with the “mr. ed smile” and the “ken doll hair” is un-matched anywhere when it comes to self interest, self promotion and a sense of personal grandeur that makes king midas look like mr.humble in comparison …
the guy who once told his own constituents that they’d have to fend for themselves after an earthquake leveled their towns until he got all the political concessions that he wanted from the obama administration because “people should pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and that the “government has no freaking business governing” makes hannibal lechter seem like jesus at an “empathy retreat” in encino
he also pulled exactly the same bullshit stunt on missouri after joplin, missouri was also leveled by a killer tornado …
and he has continued along in exactly the same vein this last year …


ted cruz
the new kid on the block of boobs this year is none other than the self appointed king ted cruz by hip is everythingof the fake evangelicals himself, that tea-baggin’ twit  himself, ted “the texas twat” cruz …
it’s been many a year since the beltway has seen a more pompous, self serving, holier than thou, empathy free, conscience barren scum bag than ole’ teddy …
and it’s been at least since joseph mccarthy since america has witnessed a more hate filled, paranoid, delusional fear monger …
using the joseph mccarthy playbook of innuendo, smear and lie filled attacks designed to denigrate and defecate on all who stand in his way in his “path to glory” teddy the “man who would be king” is truly a farce to be reckoned with …
with his dominionist world view and his lust for power it seems that this doucherocket will stop at nothing in his quest for the white house …
no lie is too big, no cost is too high, even if it means bringing down the entire american way of life to achieve his dreams …
a truly narcissistic, sociopathic, paranoia and hubris driven piece of “anally extruded, tubular, food by-product expellant”, this potential “racist, redneck mofo rookie of the year” is a real work of art and a player to watch in the future off doucherocketry and ass-clowndom …


rand “tears of impotent rage is my game” paul

rand paul plagiarist by hip is everything

“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. “Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. “
i just cut and pasted (see plagiarized) the above text for rand, because, well, it seemed somehow appropriate …


rob “crack don’t smoke itself kids” ford
the mayor (for now) of toronto …
they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so …

rob fordrob 3

rob2

“i don’t often smoke crack, but when I do, it’s in a drunken stupor” …


and honorable mentions must certainly go out to:
rush “the king of impotentville” limpballs …
always a contender, rush, like his pal glenn “where is he now?” beckkk, just rolls along in his own slimy path of hatred, vile and bile …
stephen “anything for a buck” harper …
arrgghh… I don’t even know where to begin on this bagger wannabe prick …
just keep selling out yer’ country to the highest bidder steve-o …
it seems to have gotten ya’ this far …
steve “the muslims are coming!, the muslims are coming!” king …
ann “the man” coulter for about a million obvious reasons …
hannity the manatee for his mastery of selling his special brand of pure unadulterated fear and bullshit for enormous amounts of donero …
”billo the clown” o’reilly for continuing to be the petulant, small minded, bigoted blowhard that he’s always been …
megyn “santa is white damnit! and so was jesus!” kkkelly over at faux noise …
marco “the gop pool boy” rubio for his mitt romney impersonations as the gop’s flip-flopper and wannbe in chief …
phil “douche dynasty” robertson for proving once and for all what we’ve all suspected about you redneck mofo baggers from the beginning …
sarah “the attention whore queen from wasilla” palin for her never ending starring role in the baggerz ‘r’ us production of  “the whining – the tide of error that swept america” (a douche moose/todd the wad production) …
donald “gas bags” trump, the birther king for the hair alone, never mind all the ignorance, bullshit, self aggrandizement and bigotry …
donald, go the fuck away, no-one cares what you think, yer’ 15 minutes are long ago up, and yer’ only embarrassing yourself …
you’re a true apprentice … at being human, humane and relevant …
just piss off, and please stfu! …
so …
who’s our ass clown of the year for 2013? …
i’ll let this guy lay it out for ya’ …

thank you sir …
i couldn’t have put it any better …
our ass clown of the year
phil robertson of douche dynasty
and his whole clan …
and our first runner up …
the “fans” who jumped up and supported his lame, fake ass …
happy new year’s peeps …
have a good one …
and huge thanks go out to CultofDusty.com for the video …
phil and clan …
we salute you!
hip is everything salute

 

ud
and then there was this (from cnn) …
phil douche dynasty

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