an open letter to my american brothers : “go johnny go”

Captain-Americafirst off, ya got the whole right wing “oh my god, bill-got-a-blow-job, hillary will probably want one too”, “benghazi, benghazi, benghazi”, “guns, guns, guns”, eat the poor, gay is evil, citizens are expendable (hurricane sandy, iraq, afghanistan, most of africa, and on and on), “science schmience”, separate laws for the rich and famous, a climate change denyin’, evolution hatin’, muslim beratin’ congress, the “fuck the planet, stack up the cash” crowd, and a “spin zone” sorta mindset that corporate america AND a small percentage of john q. public seem locked into …
and let’s not forget the whole bigotry, racism, ‘women back in the kitchen!’, fear mongering, secession now!, and homophobia is yer’ buddy wave of ‘baggerism’ that is now in control of the republican party …
remember when gop stood for grand old party and NOT greed over people? … 
oh, those were the days my friends …
and these are the leaders …
scary, huh kids? …
add in fucking “survivor 239”, “12 and pregnant”, “honey blah, blah”, “god-tv”, “douche dynasty”, “the housewives of hell”, “faux and fiends”, the “whatever that idiot sarah the wasilla grifter queen is doing this week reality hour”, and “american idiot/sux-factor/america’s got talent?” in 15 languages and you got yourself quite the mess …
real “american exceptionalism we got on display here for sure guys …
the rest of the world used to be look up to you guys and want to be like you, so smarten the hell up …
ok? …

‘jerry’s kids’ aren’t handicapped anymore, they’re trailer-dwelling, quadra-sexual, uneducated, inbred, low information, shameless, fame-seeking losers who are “too hot for tv – vol. 53” …
yup that idiot is still wasting valuable air time …
then again, after seeing springer, maybe they really are handicapped …
i mean the vast majority of handicapped people i have had the honor of knowing live normal, focused, not to mention amazing, courageous and brave lives …
most of these fame seeking losers can barely speak their native tongue and really shouldn’t be encouraged to breed …
miley cyrus and “the beibs” are popular (?? … some nights i am just plain scared)
guys like fuckabee huckabee, hannity the manatee, chris christie and donald “the birther” trump are heroes ??? …
the religious right blathers on and on and on about the war on christmas, abortion, contraception and guns ‘cuz they really do know what’s best for you and me …
pitbull, katie perry and lady gaga are hot (must be an even numbered year) …
barbara walters is like 179 years old and finally going to retire, and according to geraldo she still has great tits …this also scares me late at night …
although if she’d like to submit a pic or two, i’d definitely run ‘em up …
we do love ya’ barb … truly …
and EVERYONE wants to be an apprentice to “the donald” …
trump ??? …
the guys a freaking’ alien …
christ, in the old days they woulda cut him up over at area 51 just to see what color his blood was …
donald … two words … “you’re fired” …
and you know yer’ a redneck when fifth graders and really unbalanced adults compete for cash, with the kids having the clear edge…
i’m tellin’ ya … this shit should scare ya’ …
a lot …
the bottom line here my ‘exceptional’ brothers, is that you guys really do need to grow up and get on with this “american exceptionalism” thing you’ve been blathering on about since the late ’40′s …
we’re running outta both patience and cash waiting for you guys to stop admiring yourselves and get the hell on with cleaning up this mess you guys call democracy …
some facts …
fact: oj did it, so did zimmerman …
they both murdered innocent people and the bastards should be in jail forever and not selling paintings and memorabilia on amazon or e-bay … done deal …
fact: people of color are allowed to vote, and so are women, it’s like the law or something, so stop it with the voter suppression shit … now! …
fact: roe v. wade made abortion legal and guaranteed so knock off all the whining and law-rigging on that stuff too …
if you don’t like abortion, don’t have one …
plain and simple …
fact: corporations are NOT people, and until one of them is executed by order of ‘oops’ perry down in texas stop it with that shit too …
fact: it’s time to leave the middle class the hell alone …
they’re the best damned thing america ever did, and they’re probably gonna end up saving your asses in more ways than one …
fact: stop bringing up bill clinton, it’s over, he’s long gone …
if the president of british petroleum had been getting blow jobs in his office and it was on the news, people would say “yeah?, and yer’ point is what???”…
in fact if the president of the united states WASN’T gettin’ a little secret service in the oral office i would be nervous …
i only hope that barack is getting some too …
do I need to bring up david ‘diaper boy’ vitter, mark ‘hiking the appalachian trail’ sanford, mark ‘free candy’ foley, arnold ‘it’s not a rumour’ schwarzenegger, or any one of a hundred other of the “family values” gang …
fact: there is no fucking war on christmas, there is only ratings concerns and a need for drama over at faux noise …
fact: i’m not even going to get into the whole “god” debate, but if he is real, then he “made” all “those gay people” so get the fuck over it and read his book too for directions on how to handle it …
pay special attention to the “jesus said” parts …
fact: global warming is real and the world is not flat …
fact: so is evolution …read a fucking book …
fact: “w” was a liar … and more than a little evil to boot …
the whole war, war, war thing is a profiteering sham/scam …
and john “imma fuckin’ war hero ya’ know” mcgrumpypants and his lapdog chorus of lindsey graham, bill kristol and flunkin’ duncan hunter are still calling for more …
this time with iran …
hunter even suggested we go nuke on their asses …
let’s be real here for a moment peeps, most sane people think lil’ dick cheney shoulda shot himself in the face …
man i still can’t believe he did it, then the ‘shootee’ apologizes for putting dick through it … mind-boggling and amazing, but typical of these hypocrites …
he and the shrub should have both been impeached…
no doubt …
they are criminals, liars, thieves and bullies …
and they caused the completely unnecessary and purely greed driven deaths of a couple of thousand brave young americans and tens of thousands of iraqis and afghanis, AND sent the country into a recessionary spiral that, ten years later, it is still struggling to climb out of …
and at least three of those are good enough for indictments aren’t they? …
the other ones, their “maker” can sort out …
and speaking of makers …
as for the “moral majority” or “religious right” or evangelical christians, or tea baggers or whatever the fuck they’re calling themselves this year …
in the words of your once fearless leader’s daddy, read my lips …
the day i need some holier than thou, lying, hypocritical, know-it-all, creationist-spewing, pro-life or die, politically correct, anti-everything but greed gasbags (ie: ann coulter/bill “spin this” o’reilly, sarah palin, ted cruz, rand paul ) and his/her ilk telling me what to do, who to do, and where, why and how to do, i’ll sign up with some evangelical-revival show and give myself over completely to blind faith and idiocy …
’til then, stay the fuck out of my bedroom, my parenting, my readings, my emails, my business, my art, my music, my government, my laws and my rights …
and please…
let me decide important stuff on my own …
i’ve seen the work your “deciders” do …
it blows …
really, really blows…
“good work ‘johnnie’… yer’ doin’ a helluva job” …
ps … i DO get it that the ONLY americans responsible for this present madness are the 1%, their cronies and those who somehow still blindly support them …
but i for one can’t wait ’til the real johnny comes marching home …
we miss ya’ big fella’… come on home soon now, ya hear…
pps … i must also note how absolutely refreshing it is to see the average american, both on and off the web, getting angry and trying to take back their country…
anything we can do to help, let us know, eh? …
there … phew … i feel much better now …
later …

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