it’s the thought that counts …

huhwtfohnoooooooooooooes‘tis the season eh? …
you know, time to roll out that old “‘tis better to give than receive” shit …
and “it’s the thought that counts” …
well, in these cases, it really is …
real gifts for the peeps on yer’ list that already have it all …
or, that ya’ just don’t like all that much …

 

Head Spa Massager
For: Anyone you want to see looking like a complete douche bag on Christmas morning …
headmassager

Warm Whiskers Neck Wrap
For: Your nephew who wants to be either Siegfried or Roy when he grows up …
Throw in something sequined; he’ll thank you later …
For: That single, 38 yr. old, owner of 11 cats ‘special’ lady on yer’ Xmas list …
huh

Just for the pure wtf-iness of it all …
lamp

For: Your friend who just had a baby?
More energy, pain relief, etc. …
and the little sperm logo is just adorable …
g-defy sneakers … shoes with springs!
18jhf70j3mqs8jpg

For: that friend who likes to walk alone, down dark alleys, on the wrong side of the tracks …
you know, that ‘friend’ you don’t really like that much …
The Money Bag
money_bag

For: the angry teenager who lives in yer’ basement …
his or her very own blood bath
blood_bath

For the holy rollers out there …
Dashboard Jesus will be a gift they’ll want to keep …
He stands four and a half inches, and has a base so you can stick him right to the dashboard …
He’s on a spring so each bump or movement of the car will cause him to wiggle,
reminding you of the question What Would Jesus Do?

Dashboard Jesus

Emergency Underpants
These underpants come in handy when you have to ditch your old pair due to a ‘mishap’ or other late night activities …
When you need a clean pair of underwear to hold you over until you can get into a real pair, these come in handy ….
Emergency-Underpants1

For the bacon lover on your xmas shopping list …
Bacon Scented Body Wash
1

or …
Bacon soap
Some people love the smell of bacon …
So why wouldn’t they want to smear bacon scent all over their body? …
This bacon soap is nicely presented, and only costs £4.95
Probably not suitable for vegetarians.
Delicious!

Boogey Man Egg Separator Jug
a gift definitely not to be sneezed at …
I know … groan ….
eggz

How To Poo At Work Book – Guide to pooing in the office
What to do if: you are ‘ill’; a colleague follows you into the bathroom;
the flush doesn’t work; no paper; no seat; your colleagues arrive;
your phone rings; and, many more real-life situations that are tough to cope with.
All are complemented by useful diagrams.
self help series

Balloon Russian Roulette  …
This game is just the thing for daredevils who don’t actually want to dice with death …
You pull the trigger and a balloon either pops on you or it doesn’t …
The manufacturers suggest filling it with whipped cream or fake blood for an extra-fun experience …
That’s kinda fucked up eh? …
Such fun

For that uncle or dad who loves the look of …
Sandal socks!

Still wondering what to get for your secret Santa soiree at work? …
Why not go all out on the awkwardness scale …
Get them – the SantaKini

1502_Lifestyle-Model.

Soft Silicone Stress Reliever Toy (Comes In Assorted Colors)
wtf?!?! … and should we really be using the word “comes” on this one? …
how about “available”? …

Soft Silicone Funny Stress Reliever Toy (Assorted Colors)

and a few that need no description whatsoever …

 

 

 

and one that, well, just plain disturbs me …
I’m not sure if I should throw up, or call the cops …
shudder … cops it is …

shave

 

tyler

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