d-bag of the week … the douchenami edition

golden d-bag of the week award by hip is everything

it’s been a week where I can’t even keep up with the right wing douche-rocketry and d-bag behavior of this week’s contenders …
sort of a douchebag tsunami … a douchenami if you will …
so slap on the wellingtons so you don’t get any on ya’ and let’s just wade right on in shall we …
careful though my friends, some shit just don’t wash off …
is everyone comfortably seated? …
good, then we’ll begin …
”Once upon a time … in a mystical make believe land where idiocracy, tiny little hands and bigotry rule the day, there lived a whole bunch of bat shit crazy, angry, fearful, bloviating liars, er, prevaricators if you’d prefer …”
first up, the queen of bat shit crazy vile and bile herself …

                        

gop must be crazy by hip is everythingMichele Bachmann Says God Sent Brussels Attacks to Humiliate Obama

by Tommy Christopher

Have you ever wondered what it would look like if Sarah Palin were held at gunpoint and forced to drunk-tweet slam poetry? Well, then former Congresswoman Michele Bachmann‘s (R-MN) latest WorldNet Daily column is for you. The rambling, stream-of-what-can-only-loosely-be-called-consciousness blog post touches on a wide range of horrible Obama failures, but most notably posits that maybe God sent the terrorists to Brussels to humiliate President Obama:

Or maybe our president’s humiliation comes in a manner so devastating it makes one wonder whether the Creator of humankind isn’t reminding this world of the inferiority of foolishness in the face of wisdom.
The president once again mocked his nemesis, the Jewish people and the nation of Israel, by cleverly turning the international press corps toward his brilliant work in Cuba, instead of covering ongoing Islamic attacks against the Jewish state as outlined that very same day at the annual pro-Israel AIPAC meeting in Washington, D.C.
History changed less than 24 hours later in the blink of an eye, and the rug was pulled out from under his well-laid plans.
Obama’s slavish press corps was forced to turn their uncritical gaze from adoring him to revealing the newest carnage in Brussels.
Our eyes were spellbound.

No, they weren’t, Michele, you’re just looking at the wrong camera.
If this truly is a clash of civilizations, as Bachmann believes, then telling the world that God sent terrorists to make Obama look bad is not great PR for Christianity.

You can read the entire loopy thing here.


then we had Rudy “911!, 911!, 911!!!” Giuliani crawling out of his slime filled bog to make that fucking semi-human noise he likes to make in his ongoing effort to find a reason to keep breathing …do slugs breathe??? …

Giuliani: Hillary Clinton Could Be Considered ‘Founding Member of ISIS …

GIULIANI DOCUMENTARY
Rudy 911! Giuliani seen here with long time friend and fellow piece of shit Donald ‘the Fuhrer’ Trump

In an effort to attack Hillary Clinton on foreign policy tonight, Rudy Giuliani told Bill O’Reilly that “Hillary Clinton could be considered a founding member of ISIS.”
He said that Clinton hasn’t shown leadership in the war on terror, saying she had her chance when she was Secretary of State, when she was “part of an administration that withdrew from Iraq.”
O’Reilly pointed out Clinton couldn’t have forced President Obama to do anything short of resigning. Giuliani added, “Which is what a patriot does.”
A little later, O’Reilly took a guess Giuliani’s getting ready to endorse Donald Trump. Giuliani didn’t completely deny it…


trump by hip is everythingTrump Retweets Someone Insulting Heidi Cruz’s Looks

by Josh Feldman

Donald Trump tonight, not content with mere threats, re-tweeted a fan tonight who posted an image insulting Ted Cruz‘s wife’s looks.
Trump is angry at Cruz over an ad an anti-Trump Super PAC (that has nothing to do with Cruz) ran showing a picture from his wife Melania‘s nude photoshoot.
Here’s tonight’s crazy Trump retweet:

in case it’s taken down:

Screen Shot 2016-03-24 at 12.19.09 AM

Wow.

UPDATE –– 12:40 pm EST: Cruz responded:

cruz

stay classy guys, stay classy! …


The GOP …

There’s a petition to allow ‘open carry’ at the GOP convention …
and it’s not from the Onion!!!!

Believe it or else: Some one has actually posted a petition on Change.org to allow open carry of firearms during the RNC convention.

RECOGNIZE OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO OPEN CARRY FIREARMS AT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION AT THE QUICKEN LOANS ARENA IN JULY 2016SUMMARY: In July of 2016, the GOP will host its convention at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio. Though Ohio is an open carry state, which allows for the open carry of guns, the hosting venue—the Quicken Loans Arena—strictly forbids the carry of firearms on their premises.According to the policy on their website, “firearms and other weapons of any kind are strictly forbidden on the premises of Quicken Loans Arena.”This is a direct affront to the Second Amendment and puts all attendees at risk. As the National Rifle Association has made clear, “gun-free zones” such as the Quicken Loans Arena are “the worst and most dangerous of all lies.” The NRA, our leading defender of gun rights, has also correctly pointed out that “gun free zones… tell every insane killer in America… (the) safest place to inflict maximum mayhem with minimum risk.” (March 4, 2016 and Dec. 21, 2012)
I’m not certain whether this is serious, or an attempt at satire; it’s hard to tell the difference anymore!!!!! Maybe they should just change the name to the ‘NRA Convention.’
original link from The Bitchy Pundit’s Facebook page … Her comment: “A room full of armed, slack jawed Republicans – what could go wrong?”


Pat McCrory Says He Signed the Broadest Anti-LGBT Bill in the Nation to Prevent Government Overreach

On Wednesday, in a special session, North Carolina lawmakers rammed through HB2, a bill that they were granted a mere five minutes to read before beginning debate. A bill that literally made its way through both chambers of the General Assembly, onto the governor’s desk, and signed into law in a mere 12 hours. “The basic expectation of privacy in the most personal of settings, a restroom or locker room, for each gender was violated by government overreach and intrusion by the mayor and city council of Charlotte,” McCrory trumpeted in a statement after signing the bill Wednesday night.


N.C. House Strikes Down LGBT Protections Statewide

(The Advocate) North Carolina lawmakers voted overwhelmingly today to strike down all existing LGBT-inclusive nondiscrimination ordinances in the state, during a special legislative session called in response to Charlotte passing a trans-inclusive ordinance. The state’s Republican-led House of Representatives passed House Bill 2 by a vote of 83-24 today, according to the anti-LGBT North Carolina Family Policy Council, which supports the legislation that it calls the “Charlotte bathroom bill.” The bill now moves to the state Senate, where it will be heard at 4 p.m. local time.


kochbrosKoch Brothers Attempt to Kill Single-Payer Health Care in Colorado

(TruthOut) Colorado’s efforts to become the first state to pass a public, universal health care system are facing stiff opposition from right-wing organizations, many of which are funded by or affiliated with brothers Charles and David Koch. As expected, these moneyed interests are doing everything they can to stop the state from amending its constitution with a ballot referendum, Amendment 69, which would implement a statewide version of “single-payer” health care. If approved, ColoradoCare would cover every resident, regardless of employment or ability to pay.


Nixon Policy Advisor Admits He Invented War On Drugs to Suppress ‘Anti-War Left and Black People’

(Jezebel) Dan Baum, writing in support of drug legalization at Harper’s, has unleashed a frank 1994 quote from former Nixon policy advisor John Ehrlichman, and as inadvertently salient an argument for legalizing drugs as any I’ve ever seen:
At the time, I was writing a book about the politics of drug prohibition. I started to ask Ehrlichman a series of earnest, wonky questions that he impatiently waved away. “You want to know what this was really all about?” he asked with the bluntness of a man who, after public disgrace and a stretch in federal prison, had little left to protect. “The Nixon campaign in 1968, and the Nixon White House after that, had two enemies: the antiwar left and black people. You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.”


And so, because the douchebaggery has not abated in any way since our last d-bag award, and all the sliminess and slithering that passes for sentient behavior in the so-called corridors of power still seem to be as rampant as ever, it must be time to single out our d-bag of the week … and, as all good deeds truly deserve some kind of reward, it’s that time again …
and (insert favorite deity here) knows, we certainly did have another week chock bloody full of scheming, lying politicians, incoherent, ass kissing, dog whistle blowing, incessantly blathering, windbag broadcasters, greedy, glamour glomming grifters and pointless, prevaricating and pontificating pricks …
so, it’s time to answer the question that seemingly needs to be answered kids …
just who took their act to the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, the slimiest of the slimy, the doucheyist of the douchey? … are those even freakin’ words? …
they are now i guess … lol …
who was the king or queen of douchebaggery in the last seven days? …
who was the grandest douche rocket of the bunch? …
it was, as always, a week that was, full of some of the slimiest, sleaziest, slithering, scuzzball serpents the world of poll pandering, petulant and pithy partisan politics, fanatical, frenzied, far fetched faith freaks, and the exorbitant, exaggerated and exuberant elitist acquisitiveness, avarice and avidity that the preening power pricks(aka politics, religion and corporatocracy) has to offer …
and this week was as bad as every other lately, the norm these days it seems, with more than it’s fair share of despicable, degenerate douche bag dancing, misogynistic, mean-minded and mendacious maneuvers, slimy, sickening, sleaze-ball slithering, repugnant, reprehensible, repulsive and revolting rantings and railings, and an out and out torrent of treasonous talk and treacherous temper tantrums …
especially by the so-called “family values” gang over on the right and their bat shit crazy, bullshit bellowing, ideologically inane, greedy and groveling, greasy grifters and their prevaricating, petulant, pompous and pointlessly pious proponents …
in the end, as we always do, we found our winnerSleeping half-moon
and a rather deserving one, if I do say so myself …
and even though this week’s douche-off was not without a copiously crammed cornucopia of conniving, classless, clueless, crass and cretinous challengers to that majestic mantle of  mediocrity, mendacity, meandering mindlessness and missteps we like to call the ‘d-bag of the week’, we do have a winner …
and who kids is the doucheyist of ‘em all this week? …
the envelope please … 

our winner of  the always deserved, rarely accepted d-bag of the week is …
ALL OF “EM …
EVERY FUCKING SINGLE ONE OF THESE CRETINS AND GRIFTERS …
AAARRRGGGHHH …
MY BRAIN HURTS JUST THINKING ABOUT THESE LOW LIFE WASTES OF SKIN …
SO …
hip-is-everything-salute_thumb1
FUCK YOU DONALD TRUMP …
FUCK YOU MICHELE BACHMANN …
FUCK YOU RUDY 911 GIULIANI …
FUCK YOU NORTH CAROLINA RETHUGS …
FUCK YOU TED CRUZ …
FUCK YOU ALL …
NOW, I NEED TO GO SHOWER AND TRY TO WASH THIS SHIT OFF …

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “d-bag of the week … the douchenami edition

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s