TRENTON (The Borowitz Report)—No one in the United States has taken note of the total disappearance of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who vanished from view several weeks ago.
In interviews with residents across the country, few if any Americans displayed interest in, or concern about, the whereabouts of Christie, who, until he disappeared, had been a once-prominent political figure.
“I hadn’t really thought about him until you mentioned it,” said Trenton resident Carol Foyler, echoing the opinions of many others in the Garden State.
“Huh,” she added.
Tracy Klugian, a resident of Teaneck, said that it took him a moment to remember who Christie was, but then acknowledged that it was “kind of weird” that he had disappeared.
“I mean, he used to be here and now he’s not,” he said. “Whatever.”
At the University of Minnesota, the historian Davis Logsdon said it was “highly unusual” for a governor of such a major state to simply drop off the radar without anyone noticing.
“Chris Christie’s disappearance raises a whole host of questions,” he said. “Where did he go? When did he leave? Does he plan to come back? To be honest with you, I don’t care.”
Efforts to contact Governor Christie for this article were not made.
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