warning! cow attacks on the rise! – we need a wall!

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So, I was just wondering what homeland security and the GOP are gunna do about these cows …
and wtf is the Dongald gunna do if he’s elected? …
will he build a really high, amazing, beautiful fucking wall with an amazing, really expensive marble and gold clad door around those cows? …
can he get the cows to pay for it? …
exile and ban all holsteins? … what about the angus and the charolais? …
and don’t even get me fucking started on those belted galloways … jesus …
from the looks of these numbers, so far, the whole barbed wire fence thing ain’t working worth shit …
I hate to be ‘that guy’ and say told ya so, but it’s my humble opinion that this cow attacks shit is completely outta control …
I know I’m pretty worried … I’ve even been thinking about buying a cattle prod …
yeah, I know, but a guy’s gotta protect his family, right? …
I wish I could say that ‘the only thing that can stop a bad cow is a good cow with a prod’, but these bastards are totally in this thing together … even the jerseys … so there’s no way I can risk the well being and safety of my loved ones hoping some ‘good’ cow will show up to kick some bad cow ass and save the day … ain’t gunna happen peeps …plus the national cattle-prod association (NCA) has got my back … and those motherfuckers just never say die, so take that you fat, milk dispensing, hooved pricks! …
stay alert peeps! …we’re the last line of defense … we gotta hold the line …
for our kids, and their kids …
I’m out … I’m due for the afternoon perimeter watch …
May <insert deity of yer’ choice here> have my back today … wish me luck.

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