orange is the new blech

orangeDON OF ORANGE, THE VELVEETA RACOON …
Hair stylists and make-up people across the country are driving themselves to the very edge of the Velveeta abyss trying to figure out wtf is up with the Dongald’s hair (hair???) … And,so far, they gots nuttin’ … “DAMN YOU SCIENCE! WHY DO YOU FAIL US NOW??!!? …
But the hair is only half of the mystery … The other half of the puzzle of the year is his skin (skin??), which is an almost pumpkin like orange …
That is, if said pumpkin was spending inordinate amounts of time and ca$h spray tanning …
With bright orange car paint …
And swimming goggles …
Is it rust? …
Is he “transitioning”? (into some kinda garden vegetable) …
Is it a ‘backup’ of urine caused by an inability to urinate on his own? – due to his extremely tiny hands, which probably make grasping his own penis nearly impossible …
Is the problem a Cheetohs addiction caused by staying up all night alone? … I mean, c’mon, you’ve all seen Melania, no way she goes anywhere near the man …
And stay up all night alone like he claims he does, and sooner or later, out come the fucking Cheetohs kids …
I mean, with those tiny little digits masturbation is completely off the table … so … Cheetos time for the Dongald …
Might explain why he’s such an angry little man-baby all the time, just sayin’ …
It’s also been a long held belief that the stress of running for and inhabiting the Oval Office causes a president’s hair to go grey …
Perhaps we are witnessing a similar evolution here, except with skin …
(I hate to use the ‘E’ word around Repugs,but, hey it best describes the situation, so screw ‘em)
And instead of greying, it’s more like the transformation of leaves on a crisp fall day to what we call in these parts ‘winter mold’ …
In the end he just winds up looking like a basketball that’s spent the winter outside …
At least this explanation would keep it sorta in the realm of mother nature, and not some crazy sci-fi/conspiracy theory crap …
You know, of the old Alex Jones/Dongald J. Trump/bat-shit crazy variety …
And, wtf is with the light pink lipstick Donnie? …
Is this what Sarah, the Klondike Kardashian was referring to with her lipstick on a pig stuff? …

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