don’t worry, he has a plan

It just gets more and more clusterfucked every day with ol’ rustface …
But fear not peeps, the Cheddar Raccoon has a  plan …
He is going to send out bigly teams of crack investigators to every country where Muslims reside and/or visit … Amazing, yuge, manly teams that everyone will be talking about … Believe me … They’ll camp outside every mosque in the world, and using super-secret IvankaDon™ profiling technology, they’ll identify every single Muslim on the entire freakin’ planet and put their names in a yuge database (preferably MySQL) known as the Mighty Trumpatriot 9001 Database™ … Then when anyone arrives at LaGuardia or Dulles on an international flight looking all Muslim-y, their names will be looked up on the Mighty Trumpatriot 9001 Database™ by a crack team of brown-shirts immigration force specialists and if there’s a match, they’ll be given a Chick-Fil-A sandwich, a copy of Marcus Bachmann’s “Pray Away The Gay” DVD, a membership in the Newt Blingrich ‘Anything For A Buck Club’, an autographed copy of whatever fucking book Billo the Clown O’Really? is selling at the time (‘Killing Whoever’), and a return ticket to their country of origin … Mexico will pay for all of the tickets … And we’ll all be safe forever and live happily ever after! … and everyone will have zillions of dollars and all the ladies will have Yuuuge tits … so they can be ‘10’s’ … just like Dongald likes ‘em … the End … ta-daaa!

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