new shell for snitch

GOP ‘Village Idiot in Chief’, Snitch McConnell had a great day, much unlike most other Republicans lately. Snitch was overjoyed when first thing this morning the UPS guy showed up at his office with an unexpected surprise. It was a new shell, and Snitchy McSnitcherson as his fellow village idiots (the GOP Senate members) call him, was eager to show it off. “The old shell was okay, but after years of Boehner smoking and spilling literally fucking hundreds of glasses of Merlot in there, I was LONG overdue for a new home. I’m very excited to have the gang over for a whine and wheeze party. We just sit around and talk shit about that N… that guy Obama, and masturbate to Sarah Palin debate videos. It’s where we get our best obstruction ideas, it’s become something of a late night tradition. That crazy Paul Ryan calls us the ‘sleazin’, wheezin’, no reason, treason gang’, he just cracks me up. What a guy.” He then wrapped up the press conference by giving Sheldon Adelson and at least 3 Koch Bros. his senate renowned rim job/hummer combo to show his ‘deep’ appreciation for the new shell, followed by a quick “god bless America” and out.
Snitch by hip is everything
’Snitch’ McConnell, seen here showing off his new shell

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