irrelephant crossing

Behold the modern irrelephant … Massive and once majestic, they lumber across the American political landscape blinded by their own un-wavering self doubt, rage and hate … Political virgins who emerged fully-formed between 2007 and 2009 from the heads of Glenn Beck, Rush Limpballs and Hannity the Manatee, just in time to go streaming and screaming out into the streets of ‘Murica, demanding to see that black guy’s birth certificate; insisting that his health care plan was a thinly veiled ruse to murder their white grannies; and generally screeching and whining that their country had been stolen from them by an illegitimate, socialist, communist, Kenyan usurper whose mission in life is to destroy that same ‘Murica that they love so much … sharing their tears of impotent rage with anyone who would listen to their tales of anguish and self-pity …
How could they ever sleep well again knowing that a secretly black, secretly gay, secretly Muslim, Manchurian candidate was at the helm of their country? … how could ‘true patriots’ such as themselves ever rest knowing that ‘that black guy in THEIR white house’ was planning the overthrow of all they once held dear? … he was going to take away all their guns, force everyone to ‘gay marry’, make all the women have abortions and deliberately destroy the economy, all the while sneaking ‘Sharia law’ into the nation’s law books … plus, to make matters worse he was forcing Cletus and Billy Joe Ray Bob to share a bathroom with Caitlyn Jenner … and I won’t even get into the whole war on Christians and their holidays that he was so obviously waging against them …
With the ever shrinking ‘red-state map’ habitat loss has become the key threat facing the irrelephant today and now, the once proud and mighty irrelephant stands battered and alone, cuckolded and neutered, ridiculed by all and revered by none … it awaits it’s passage into the dust bin of time, never to rule the jungle again … good riddance …

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