10 reasons america needs more smog

This isn't smoke rising from the smokestacks, it's FREEDOM!

This isn’t smoke rising from the smokestacks, it’s FREEDOM!

Last weekend, Antonin Scalia, one of the nine Supreme Court Justices, had unexpectedly died at age 79, leaving the Supreme Court divided 4-4 between liberal and conservative justices. Republicans politicians insist that president Obama shouldn’t nominate anyone to replace Scalia until the new president is elected, which would keep the court completely deadlocked for at least a year. However, the Supreme Court is our last bastion of constitutional freedoms, and leaving it paralyzed would be devastating. Just to give one example of how important the Supreme Court is: in its last decision before Scalia’s death, the court blocked Obama administration’s regulations restricting air pollution from power plants. And here are 10 reasons why the Court’s decision to not regulate air pollution was so vital.

1) Thick smog around the house is one of the very few privacy protections American citizens still have left.

2) By blocking ultraviolet solar radiation, smog can prevent thousands of cases of skin cancer.

3) Also, in case there really is global warming, blocking the sunlight would the most effective way to cool down the planet and reverse the warming.

4) Banning air pollution will make it impossible for police departments to use tear gas whenever they like.

5) Smog provides natural defensive camouflage that makes it impossible for American enemies to locate and bomb American cities from above.

6) Smog creates jobs – if smog is banned, thousands of doctors specializing in respiratory system, and manufacturers of respirators and air filters would lose their jobs.

7) If the smog is toxic enough, it make us all healthier by killing all the Ebola and Zika viruses in the air.

8) Banning smog is tantamount to taking away the freedom of Americans to breathe whatever they like.

9) Clean air is overrated. How can you possibly appreciate something you can’t even see?

Note: this list contains only 9 items, since I guess I’m not supposed to add the last item because it’s an election year and a new president hasn’t been elected.

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