Washington, D.C.-Late this evening, in a secret, back room deal requested and hosted by GOP RNC head Rank Penis, Senate Majority Leader Snitch McCanal and House Leader Paul Complyin, Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Rodham Clinton agreed to accept the presidency by default. In a desperate and very ‘cucky’ move designed to “minimize the damage being done by that fucking orange maniac” to the Grand Old (emphasis on the old) Party, and to maybe, just maybe save the party from total annihilation the three stooges kissed the ring of their new lord and master (mistress?, nope, that’s just creepy) Empress Hillary of Clintonia before being ushered into their own personal dustbins of history. The move, along with the cancellation of November’s election will assure at least two parties in the next general election thereby continuing the charade of democracy and choice in America, and will also save the taxpayers a “fucking huge pile o’ cash” as VP Joe Biden was heard to mutter as he helped Barack and Michelle pack up the white house for the Clintons’ arrival. Donald Trump was ‘unavailable for comment’.
Trump, seen here waving goodbye to an angry mob outside Trump Tower as he hands over the keys to Trump Tower to the collections department of the Bank of Russia before being spirited away to a private ‘facility’ north of Moscow.