Trump Kicks Off Hat Sale 2017–The Grifters ‘R’ Us Tour

nationwide airplane hangar victory hat sales tour
POS POTUS 2B Donnie ‘Bad Touch’ Trump, seen here preparing for bed in his ‘Hall Of Mirrors and Gilt’, exactly as he does every night 6:42 A.M. after a tough night ‘O tweetin’

Washinton/LOC/HIE  As mentioned in a previous article noted con man and America’s grifter in chief Donnie ‘Bad Touch’ Trump will soon depart on a four year hat sale tour in airplane hangers across America to make the country “Great Again”.
According to sources close to Team Dumpster Fire, it seems the candidate “ truly hates all this presidential stuff” and really, really misses the adulation of his most rabid followers. Plus, he believes that with Senior advisor Steve ‘White is Right!’ Bannon, newly appointed Chief of Stank Rank Penis and V.P. Erect Mike ‘your vagina IS my fuckin’ business’ Pence running the show back in Washington, it would “just be better for all concerned if Mr. Tru – the president, just went on the road and sold hats and hatred’’”
Kellyanne ‘I’ve no soul left’ Conway added that ”Mr. Trump also feels that this ‘re-alignment’ of his administration would leave far more time for tweeting angrily at Alec Baldwin and spray tanning.”
It is believed that Mel Gibson will be flown in to ‘seat fill’ at photo-ops and engagements that the president-elect will have to attend, and take care of the small shit like speeches, executive orders and treaty signings. “He has all the same ideals and a remarkably similar world view and temperament to Mr. Trump.” was how one close aide put it.

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