Close Call For Petulant Erect

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Petulant Erect Tang Ridiculous, the Velveeta raccoon came within a whisker of ‘buying the farm’ today when his plane was attacked by a giant shark. Witnesses on board told members of the press after landing that they could “see the giant teeth just missing the windows” and in one case a “rather large piece of gold trim was ripped from one of the many 24k gold Trump-head wing ornaments.”
The plane landed minutes later and the Petulant Erect was rushed off the plane and into his limo, where he was whisked away to his Mar-a-lago Estate/Tax Scam where he was treated for acute hyperventilation and was given a sedative to control his sobbing. He was given a change of underwear before being tucked in for the night.


UPDATE:Apparently the Apricot Asshole has locked himself in the bathroom with his phone …
Annnd, it’s on …
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