Tony Orlando and Dong


Tony Orlando is now playing Donald Trump’s Inauguration?!
The man who brought the world such hits as “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree” and, well, that was pretty much it, is now playing Donald Trump’s Inauguration. But hey, he was sorta a somebody in the last century, so, that’s pretty good huh?
He’ll be joined by everybody’s favorite psychotic grandpa, Jon ‘Crazy Eyes’ Voight.
The Rudy Giuliani of country music, renowned chaos opportunist and anger merchant Toby ‘Team ‘Murica‘ Kieth will be by to “sing the songs of the angry hayseed”.
As well, the 16-year-old America’s Got Talent runner up Jackie Evancho will be singing something all patriotic and such for her last ever paying gig..
Oh yeah, the tremendous ‘The Piano Guys’ just in from Utah … who?
AND 3 Doors Down?!?
Oh be still my freaking heart Mabel, It’s gunna be a show.
If Richard Simmons shows up I’ll probably pee myself.       (too soon?)
It’s turning into a who’s who of “Who the fuck is that?” and “Holy shit, I thought that guy was dead.”

Paul Ryan and the full GOP Congress arrive early to make sure that they get the very best seats for the Inaugural.

And to make sure everything goes well at the bigly event, the tremendous Russian mob security will be brought in to handle crowd control.
*Russian prostitutes not included.

Crowds in the hundreds are expected for the swearing in.



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