Because the douchebaggery has not abated in any way since our last d-bag award, and all the sliminess and slithering that passes for sentient behavior in the so-called corridors of power still seem to be as rampant as ever, it must be time to single out our d-bag of the week … and, as all good deeds truly deserve some kind of reward, it’s that time again. And (insert favorite deity here) knows, we certainly did have another week chock bloody full of scheming, lying politicians, incoherent, ass kissing, dog whistle blowing, incessantly blathering, windbag broadcasters, greedy, glamour glomming grifters and pointless, prevaricating and pontificating pricks. So, it’s time to answer the question that is on everyone’s mind. Just who took their act to the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, the slimiest of the slimy, the doucheyist of the douchey? … are those even freakin’ words? … they are now i guess.
Who was the king or queen of douchebaggery in the last seven days?
Who was the grandest douche rocket of the bunch?
It was, as always, a week that was, full of some of the slimiest, sleaziest, slithering, scuzzball serpents the world of poll pandering, petulant and pithy partisan politics, fanatical, frenzied, far fetched faith freaks, and the exorbitant, exaggerated and exuberant elitist acquisitiveness, avarice and avidity that the preening power pricks(aka politics, religion and corporatocracy) has to offer. And this week was as bad as every other lately, the norm these days it seems, with more than it’s fair share of despicable, degenerate douche bag dancing, misogynistic, mean-minded and mendacious maneuvers, slimy, sickening, sleaze-ball slithering, repugnant, reprehensible, repulsive and revolting rantings and railings, and an out and out torrent of treasonous talk and treacherous temper tantrums.
Especially by the so-called “family values” gang over on the right and their bat shit crazy, bullshit bellowing, ideologically inane, greedy and groveling, greasy grifters and their prevaricating, petulant, pompous and pointlessly pious proponents. In the end, as we always do, we found our winner. And a rather deserving one, if I do say so myself.
And even though this week’s douche-off was not without a copiously crammed cornucopia of conniving, classless, clueless, crass and cretinous challengers to that majestic mantle of mediocrity, mendacity, meandering mindlessness and missteps we like to call the ‘d-bag of the week’, we do have a distinct winner.
And who is the doucheyist of ‘em all this week?
Who took their doucherocketry to dizzying new heights, surpassing all the grease and sleeze that was raining down all around them over on Doucheville Isle?
The envelope please …
Donnie Bad Touch, the Velveeta Raccoon …
for his starring role as “Donnie the Douche” in …
”Operation: Scumbags Over America – If Ya’ Ain’t White, Ya’ Ain’t Right”
An undocumented woman from El Salvador awaiting brain surgery to remove a tumor was taken from a Texas hospital and detained by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents Wednesday night, her legal team says. Sara Beltran-Hernandez, 26, had been in immigration detention since November 2015 because she did not have proper documentation when she tried to migrate to New York City, according to the New York Daily News.
The mother of two had been held at Prairieland Detention Center in Alvarado, Texas, while her New York-based family members actively tried to petition for her asylum. But she collapsed at the facility this month after experiencing severe headaches, nosebleeds and memory loss. She was taken to the nearby Texas Health Huguley Hospital in Fort Worth, where doctors diagnosed her with a brain tumor that required surgery. Around 8pm Wednesday, ICE agents took her from the hospital to a detention facility that the department says has 24 hour care available. Beltran-Hernandez’s legal team criticized her treatment. “They had her tied up from hands and ankles,” said Melissa Zuniga, a paralegal on her case, in a statement. “She was brought in a wheelchair and is not being given treatment even though her nose continues to bleed and she has told them her head is exploding.” Beltran-Hernandez had been on a surgery waitlist as of this past weekend. But after her relatives called Wednesday night, everything was put on hold, according to the Daily News.
Beltran-Hernandez is due to be released and sent back to the hospital in Texas “soon,” a legal representative told The Huffington Post. During that call, Beltran-Hernandez’s lawyers say she couldn’t remember their names, despite them working with her for the past 13 months on her asylum case. “It was clear that she had deteriorated in that time,” Zuniga told ABC News. “She sounded groggy and she wasn’t remembering things. We became even more concerned.”
The Department of Homeland Security had issued a statement late Tuesday saying that ICE officials had contacted the Beltran-Hernandez family’s attorneys to explain the proper procedure to get in touch with her. “Requests by family members to visit ICE detainees who have been hospitalized are permitted but must be approved in advance with ICE and the appropriate consulate,” the agency wrote in the statement. Shortly after she spoke to her family, Beltran-Hernandez was back in the detention center. Zuniga told The Huffington Post that Beltran-Hernandez was to be released and sent back to the hospital in Texas “soon” as of Thursday morning. ICE said that Beltran-Hernandez had been discharged from the hospital on Wednesday and was still in their custody at the Prairieland Detention Center. “Ms. Beltran will continue to have access to 24 hour emergency medical care and to any required specialized treatment at an outside facility,” they told HuffPost.
Zuniga told HuffPost that she and the rest of the legal team, along with medical professionals, would fly to Dallas Thursday morning to help “provide Sara with options regarding her mother and stepfather’s travel to her bedside in Texas” from New York City.
“Both need special humanitarian parole for them to travel without fear of ICE detention,” Zuniga said.
Beltran-Hernandez’s medical records have still not been made available, she added. Zuniga urged the Salvadorian government and United States government to discuss the matter as soon as possible.
The legal team is concerned that Beltran-Hernandez’s children in El Salvadore “may become immediate targets because Sara’s asylum claims have not become public record for all to see.” She’d like them to see their mother before her surgery, if possible, in case she dies, Zuniga added. from Huffpo