Because the douchebaggery has not abated in any way since our last d-bag award, and all the sliminess and slithering that passes for sentient behavior in the so-called corridors of power still seem to be as rampant as ever, it must be time to single out our d-bag of the week … and, as all good deeds truly deserve some kind of reward, it’s that time again. And (insert favorite deity here) knows, we certainly did have another week chock bloody full of scheming, lying politicians, incoherent, ass kissing, dog whistle blowing, incessantly blathering, windbag broadcasters, greedy, glamour glomming grifters and pointless, prevaricating and pontificating pricks. So, it’s time to answer the question that is on everyone’s mind. Just who took their act to the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, the slimiest of the slimy, the doucheyist of the douchey? … are those even freakin’ words? … they are now i guess.
Who was the king or queen of douchebaggery in the last seven days?
Who was the grandest douche rocket of the bunch?
It was, as always, a week that was, full of some of the slimiest, sleaziest, slithering, scuzzball serpents the world of poll pandering, petulant and pithy partisan politics, fanatical, frenzied, far fetched faith freaks, and the exorbitant, exaggerated and exuberant elitist acquisitiveness, avarice and avidity that the preening power pricks(aka politics, religion and corporatocracy) has to offer. And this week was as bad as every other lately, the norm these days it seems, with more than it’s fair share of despicable, degenerate douche bag dancing, misogynistic, mean-minded and mendacious maneuvers, slimy, sickening, sleaze-ball slithering, repugnant, reprehensible, repulsive and revolting rantings and railings, and an out and out torrent of treasonous talk and treacherous temper tantrums.
Especially by the so-called “family values” gang over on the right and their bat shit crazy, bullshit bellowing, ideologically inane, greedy and groveling, greasy grifters and their prevaricating, petulant, pompous and pointlessly pious proponents. In the end, as we always do, we found our winner. And a rather deserving one, if I do say so myself.
And even though this week’s douche-off was not without a copiously crammed cornucopia of conniving, classless, clueless, crass and cretinous challengers to that majestic mantle of mediocrity, mendacity, meandering mindlessness and missteps we like to call the ‘d-bag of the week’, we do have a distinct winner.
And who is the doucheyist of ‘em all this week?
Who took their doucherocketry to dizzying new heights, surpassing all the grease and sleeze that was raining down all around them over on Doucheville Isle?
The envelope please …
yup, you guessed it kids, once again, it’s …
the Petulant of the United States,
The Pussy Grabber In Chief!,
BAD TOUCH DONNIE …
I really was gunna award this week’s trophy to Billo the Clown for his role in MULTIPLE sexual assault allegations/settlements/accusations, but then, at the very last moment, never ever wanting anyone else to grab the spotlight, for any reason, along comes the Velveeta Raccoon and he drops this shit on the table … TINY HANDS ON A BIG ORANGE A-HOLE FTW!
Trump says sexual harassment allegations against Bill O’Reilly are all lies
Happy National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month!
In a new interview with the so-called “failing” New York Times, President Trump came to the defense of Fox News host Bill O’Reilly. According to an investigation by the Times, Fox News and O’Reilly have paid at least five women a total of about $13 million to quell sexual harassment claims. Though dozens of advertisers have abandoned the his show over the claims, Trump apparently has his back.
“I think he’s a person I know well — he is a good person,” Trump told the Times. O’Reilly has interviewed Trump many times over the years. The President went on to say, “I think he shouldn’t have settled; personally I think he shouldn’t have settled. Because you should have taken it all the way. I don’t think Bill did anything wrong.”
There are two ways to interpret Trump’s comments that he didn’t do anything “wrong” — and neither of them is good. It could be that Trump honestly thinks O’Reilly didn’t sexually harass the women, which inherently means that the women are all liars trying to exploit him and the network for money.
This would be in line with Trump’s own rejection of all of the sexual harassment and assault allegations against him. Trump has repeatedly insisted the woman making accusations against him are liars. He notably suggested they were all too ugly for him to have pursued.
O’Reilly isn’t even the first other person Trump has defended from sexual harassment charges. Last summer, he also came to the defense of former Fox News chairman Roger Ailes, who had also been accused by several different women. Using almost identical language as he did with O’Reilly, Trump called Ailes “a friend of mine” and a “very, very good person” and claimed that Ailes had “helped” the women accusing him. It was the allegations against Ailes that prompted Fox News to conduct the internal investigation that led to O’Reilly’s two recent settlements.
When Trump said O’Reilly didn’t do “anything wrong,” he could have also just meant that O’Reilly did do what he was accused of, but that behavior was perfectly acceptable. In other words, it could mean Trump believes it’s fine to hold back women’s careers if they don’t perform sexual favors — and that a court of law would agree with him.
And of course, it’s possible that Trump believes both of those interpretations: that O’Reilly didn’t do anything he was accused of but that even if he had, there’d be nothing wrong with it. from Think Progress
What really sewed up the award for the Apricot Asshole though was the fact that last Friday, Trump officially declared April to be National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.
BAD TOUCH DONNIE …
Gratz, ya’ clueless, small dicked grifter …
P.S. Donnie, ya’ really need to take a break with all this shit … there are so many other really deserving d-bag award winners in the wings out there, and yer’ hogging all the limelight … I mean, if you keep up this pace, people may start to forget what d-bags Snitch McConnell, Lyin’ Ryan, Ted “the Canuck” Cruz, Hannity the Manatee, Laura Ingrate, Greta Van Cesspool, Ann the man Coulter, Peter “thighs like fucking melons” King, Alex “the chem-trail huffer” Jones, Mikey “He seems really gay to me bois” Pence, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, Kellyanne the Cons Way, Steve “Whitey” Bannon, The Two Pats, Robertson and Buchanan, and a host of other sleaze and miscreants we affectionately like to call the GOP are.**
And ya’ know, we really did have some close also-rans and d-bag wannabes with:
Alex Jones: Trump May Have To Nuke China
Michele Bachmann: The Left Is Helping The Antichrist Come To Power
Bachmann: Halal Food Options A Sign Of Sharia Law
Mary Colbert: God Will Curse Trump’s Opponents And Their Children And Grandchildren
and my personal fave …
Pat Robertson: I Have Been ‘Dominated’ By ‘Homosexuals’, which is fine, it is 2017 after all, and everybody is entitled to do who they wish, in the way they see fit. I’m just not sure Pat wanted to let EVERYONE know what he’s been up to on his weekends …
(ha-haaaa, good luck getting that picture outta yer’ head now)
** the doucherocketry is strong with these ones …