New Executive Order To Ban ‘Everything’

trump works on new executive orders by hip is everything
Petulant Rump, seen here working on a new executive order in his recently redecorated Oval Office.

Petulant Rump announced today before leaving on his disastrous overseas trip that he is working on a new executive order to “ban everything bigly!” The newest ban from the gilded desk of the Velveeta Raccoon is slated to take effect immediately upon his arrival home on Monday. It would have been effective immediately but as Chief of Stuff Rank Penis told the assembled press (TASS, Pravda, RT) “we have to at least pretend to be making this overseas trip, before we cancel it suddenly on Sunday and return to D.C.” Asked why the trip might be cancelled, soon to be fired sycophant press spokesperson Sean Sphincter interjected “it’s all Obama’s fault, and… the emails… Benghazi!”

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