Demented Fool Takes Rose Garden Stage Hostage For Epic Rant

Washington: Petulant of the United States, Donnie Bad Touch Trumputin, today announced that “Science is nothing more than a liberal lie, made up to deflect from the tremendous, decisive, record-setting, historic, never seen anything fucking like it” “schlonging” that Hillary Clinton received” from the Velveeta Raccoon himself Dongald, hereto after to be referred to as “The Glorious Leader, King of all he can see, Ruler of all, Sum Dim Wit” in honor of his hero of the week Kim Jong Un. He rambled and ranted on for about an hour incomprehensibly, never quite stringing a whole sentence or cohesive thought together before announcing that “that terrible, horrible, unpatriotic, anti-American, job killing Obama abomination known as the Paris Climate Accord was now a thing of the past, and that he was eager to join with Nicaragua and Syria in not being a part of such an agreement any longer.” He then vowed to “kill and ruin ANYTHING that that socialist, Kenyan, gay, Muslim interloper had anything to do with … and make sure that Crooked Hillary gets locked up!”
The Petulant closed by informing the assembled sycophants and psychopaths that “America will now define a new science, an ‘alternative science’. For example, many people are saying that the Earth is flat and Alex Jones can prove it … oh, and the chem trails made Ted Cruz’ father kill JFK and it was ordered by Rosie O’Donnell and James Comey, and that he was going to expose the whole fake moon landing hoax too.”
He then shat himself and exited stage left.



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