13 Weeks …

Wow … just, wow.

seriouslyIt’s official.
If there was ever ANY doubt left at all, it’s now safe to say that Gramps is suffering from pretty advanced dementia.
Either that or he’s an unfeeling, illiterate simpleton/sociopathic predator, with the attention span of a 4 year old on crack. Either way, this isn’t good.
Really … something is way, way mentally outta whack with this fucker.

“I think we’ve had one of the most successful 13 weeks in the history of the presidency.”

— President Trump, quoted by the Huffington Post.

D-Bag of the Week

dbag of the week award by hip is everything

Because the douchebaggery has not abated in any way since our last d-bag award, and all the sliminess and slithering that passes for sentient behavior in the so-called corridors of power still seem to be as rampant as ever, it must be time to single out our d-bag of the week … and, as all good deeds truly deserve some kind of reward, it’s that time again. And (insert favorite deity here) knows, we certainly did have another week chock bloody full of scheming, lying politicians, incoherent, ass kissing, dog whistle blowing, incessantly blathering, windbag broadcasters, greedy, glamour glomming grifters and pointless, prevaricating and pontificating pricks. So, it’s time to answer the question that is on everyone’s mind. Just who took their act to the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, the slimiest of the slimy, the doucheyist of the douchey? … are those even freakin’ words? … they are now i guess.
Who was the king or queen of douchebaggery in the last seven days?
Who was the grandest douche rocket of the bunch?
It was, as always, a week that was, full of some of the slimiest, sleaziest, slithering, scuzzball serpents the world of poll pandering, petulant and pithy partisan politics, fanatical, frenzied, far fetched faith freaks, and the exorbitant, exaggerated and exuberant elitist acquisitiveness, avarice and avidity that the preening power pricks(aka politics, religion and corporatocracy) has to offer. And this week was as bad as every other lately, the norm these days it seems, with more than it’s fair share of despicable, degenerate douche bag dancing, misogynistic, mean-minded and mendacious maneuvers, slimy, sickening, sleaze-ball slithering, repugnant, reprehensible, repulsive and revolting rantings and railings, and an out and out torrent of treasonous talk and treacherous temper tantrums.
Especially by the so-called “family values” gang over on the right and their bat shit crazy, bullshit bellowing, ideologically inane, greedy and groveling, greasy grifters and their prevaricating, petulant, pompous and pointlessly pious proponents. In the end, as we always do, we found our winner. And a rather deserving one, if I do say so myself.
And even though this week’s douche-off was not without a copiously crammed cornucopia of conniving, classless, clueless, crass and cretinous challengers to that majestic mantle of  mediocrity, mendacity, meandering mindlessness and missteps we like to call the ‘d-bag of the week’, we do have a distinct winner.
And who is the doucheyist of ‘em all this week?
Who took their doucherocketry to dizzying new heights, surpassing all the grease and sleeze that was raining down all around them over on Doucheville Isle?
The envelope please … 

Our winner … of  the always deserved … rarely accepted …
dbag of the week tag by hip is everything

is ……….

drum roll ……….

yup, you guessed it kids, once again, it’s …
the Petulant of the United States,
BLOTUS himself,
The Pussy Grabber In Chief!,

I really was gunna award this week’s trophy to Billo the Clown for his role in MULTIPLE sexual assault allegations/settlements/accusations, but then, at the very last moment, never ever wanting anyone else to grab the spotlight, for any reason, along comes the Velveeta Raccoon and he drops this shit on the table …  TINY HANDS ON A  BIG ORANGE A-HOLE FTW!

Trump says sexual harassment allegations against Bill O’Reilly are all lies
Happy National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month!

In a new interview with the so-called “failing” New York Times, President Trump came to the defense of Fox News host Bill O’Reilly. According to an investigation by the Times, Fox News and O’Reilly have paid at least five women a total of about $13 million to quell sexual harassment claims. Though dozens of advertisers have abandoned the his show over the claims, Trump apparently has his back.

“I think he’s a person I know well — he is a good person,” Trump told the Times. O’Reilly has interviewed Trump many times over the years. The President went on to say, “I think he shouldn’t have settled; personally I think he shouldn’t have settled. Because you should have taken it all the way. I don’t think Bill did anything wrong.”
There are two ways to interpret Trump’s comments that he didn’t do anything “wrong” — and neither of them is good. It could be that Trump honestly thinks O’Reilly didn’t sexually harass the women, which inherently means that the women are all liars trying to exploit him and the network for money.
This would be in line with Trump’s own rejection of all of the sexual harassment and assault allegations against him. Trump has repeatedly insisted the woman making accusations against him are liars. He notably suggested they were all too ugly for him to have pursued.
O’Reilly isn’t even the first other person Trump has defended from sexual harassment charges. Last summer, he also came to the defense of former Fox News chairman Roger Ailes, who had also been accused by several different women. Using almost identical language as he did with O’Reilly, Trump called Ailes “a friend of mine” and a “very, very good person” and claimed that Ailes had “helped” the women accusing him. It was the allegations against Ailes that prompted Fox News to conduct the internal investigation that led to O’Reilly’s two recent settlements.
When Trump said O’Reilly didn’t do “anything wrong,” he could have also just meant that O’Reilly did do what he was accused of, but that behavior was perfectly acceptable. In other words, it could mean Trump believes it’s fine to hold back women’s careers if they don’t perform sexual favors — and that a court of law would agree with him.
And of course, it’s possible that Trump believes both of those interpretations: that O’Reilly didn’t do anything he was accused of but that even if he had, there’d be nothing wrong with it.       from Think Progress

What really sewed up the award for the Apricot Asshole though was the fact that last Friday, Trump officially declared April to be National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.


YOU are this week’s douche bag of the week!
hip is everything salute

Gratz, ya’ clueless, small dicked grifter …

P.S. Donnie, ya’ really need to take a break with all this shit … there are so many other really deserving d-bag award winners in the wings out there, and yer’ hogging all the limelight … I mean, if you keep up this pace, people may start to forget what d-bags Snitch McConnell, Lyin’ Ryan, Ted “the Canuck” Cruz, Hannity the Manatee, Laura Ingrate, Greta Van Cesspool, Ann the man Coulter, Peter “thighs like fucking melons” King, Alex “the chem-trail huffer” Jones, Mikey “He seems really gay to me bois” Pence, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, Kellyanne the Cons Way, Steve “Whitey” Bannon, The Two Pats, Robertson and Buchanan, and a host of other sleaze and miscreants we affectionately like to call the GOP are.**

And ya’ know,  we really did have some close also-rans and d-bag wannabes with:
Alex Jones: Trump May Have To Nuke China
Michele Bachmann: The Left Is Helping The Antichrist Come To Power
Bachmann: Halal Food Options A Sign Of Sharia Law 
Mary Colbert: God Will Curse Trump’s Opponents And Their Children And Grandchildren
and my personal fave …
Pat Robertson: I Have Been ‘Dominated’ By ‘Homosexuals’, which is fine, it is 2017 after all, and everybody is entitled to do who they wish, in the way they see fit.  I’m just not sure Pat wanted to let EVERYONE know what he’s been up to on his weekends …
(ha-haaaa, good luck getting that picture outta yer’ head now) 

see also:
Seriously???? … UPDATE

** the doucherocketry is strong with these ones …


It should be noted that the Times fessed up to the error and quickly corrected it ― something the president seems incapable of doing when he makes a whopper.

Not to make excuses for the Times, but the mistake brings up some tasteless and bizarre things the president has said about his daughter. For instance, when he appeared on “The View” back in 2006, he said, “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Then there was the 2013 episode of “The Wendy Williams Show,” when father and daughter were asked what they had in common.

Ivanka: “Either real estate or golf.”

Trump: “Well, I was going to say sex.”

Last October, Ivanka Trump liked a tweet by HuffPost Politics promoting a story headlined, “Donald Trump: Sure, Call My Daughter A ‘Piece Of Ass’”

Seriously???? … UPDATE


So, this just happened …
BREAKING: Pussy Grabbing D-Bag Comes To The Defense of Deviant Dirt Bag

Donald Trump Kicks Off Sexual Assault Awareness Month By Defending Bill O’Reilly

The president said the Fox News host “shouldn’t have settled” in lawsuits accusing O’Reilly of sexual harassment.

President Donald Trump said he doesn’t think Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, who has been accused of sexual harassment by several women, did anything wrong.

In an interview with The New York Times on Wednesday, Trump defended O’Reilly after the Times reported that O’Reilly or Fox News paid five women a total of about $13 million to settle claims of sexual harassment or inappropriate behavior over the years.

“I think he’s a person I know well — he is a good person,” Trump said on Wednesday.

“I think he shouldn’t have settled; personally, I think he shouldn’t have settled,” Trump added. “Because you should have taken it all the way. I don’t think Bill did anything wrong.”

O’Reilly has so far stayed silent on the scandal, despite losing at least 15 advertisers for “The O’Reilly Factor,” his primetime Fox News show.

Trump’s comments echo statements he made about former Fox News chief Roger Ailes in July 2016, amid another sexual harassment scandal at the network. Trump claimed Ailes’ accusers had received help from Ailes and then said “these horrible things about him.”

“It’s very sad. Because he’s a very good person. I’ve always found him to be just a very, very good person. And by the way, a very, very talented person. Look what he’s done. So I feel very badly,” Trump told NBC.

More than a dozen women have accused Trump himself of sexual assault. Trump called them liars and threatened to sue them after the 2016 presidential election ended, but so far has taken no legal action.

The Washington Post unearthed a video in October of Trump claiming he can grab women “by the pussy” because he is a celebrity. He dismissed the comment, which was made in 2005, as “locker room talk.”

Last week, Trump declared April National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.  

Read more at The New York Times.


also see: SERIOUSLY????

The Race

14-year-old Owen Pallenberg wrote a poem entitled “The Race” that captures the absurdity of both the 2016 Presidential election, and the first 75 days of Trump’s presidency.

A man and a woman were running a race.

The man dressed in red with a very orange face,

And the woman dressed in blue with a pantsuit and a briefcase.

The race was much longer than a dash, mile or marathon,

And to many Americans it felt like it went on and on.

This was a race of old and new ideas and one thought,

And so the race started with the sound of a gunshot.

The woman dressed in blue was off to a great start,

She was gaining support and was eager to do her part.

However the man in the red was racist and sexist I’m sure you would agree,

He even said he wanted to grab a woman by her…

As the competitors turned the corner you got a glimpse of the fans,

And you could hear in the distance a chant about a man with small hands.

He claimed his hands and feet were quite big,

All while having a bright orange spray tan and a big yellow wig.

About halfway through the race the man was falling behind,

And the supporters of the woman were happy to have saved mankind.

As the competitors were nearing the finish line,

The people in blue were already celebrating and drinking their wine.

The woman approached the finish with a big, wide grin,

But then something happened that seemed to be the work of Vladimir Putin.

The woman fell down and lost her lead,

The win began to feel a lot less guaranteed.

The man hurdled over her body and crossed the finish,

And we all knew our Nation’s reputation would certainly diminish.

The man had somehow done it, he actually won,

The supporters in blue sat in shock and ceased all of their fun.

The man was apparently going to Make America Great Again with his campaign,

And the woman was depressed and had to put away her celebratory champagne

The results of this race tore apart our land,

As millions of Muslims were immediately banned.

This man can do absolutely no good,

Except run his mouth and claim he was just misunderstood.

The man has stated “we need global warming” for all to hear,

Which has made me quite certain that the end is near.

He has called women ugly and fat,

Which has left me wondering how he could have won the race and done all that.

After insulting and making fun of men and women nationwide,

I’ve become mortified, horrified, and have lost my American pride.

Every time he talks or makes a speech,

All I can say is impeach, impeach, impeach.

Pssst … It’s Not Working, Donnie

Another spot on op piece by Nance Greggs
I couldn’t agree more with the following …

Pssst … It’s Not Working, Donnie

I hate to tell you (okay, actually I am delighted to tell you) that the mindless schtick you brought to the role of the presidency is no longer working. No one is entertained, no one is amused and above all, no one is the least bit interested in your bullshit anymore.
Face it, Donnie, you’re a loser – bigly. And you have demonstrated yourself to be a loser not only in front of the country, but in front of the entire world. The loud-mouthed, I can fix everything pussy-grabber who was inaugurated has turned out to be a do-nothing idiot who has failed at everything. Your healthcare bill failed, your Muslim travel ban failed, and thus far, the only thing you’ve accomplished is to ruin your credibility to the point where no one believes a god-damned word that comes out of your pie-hole – and to be perfectly blunt, you can’t even convince your own wife to live in the same place you live. As you would say, “Loser – sad!”
You once said, ”I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose voters.” Well, the truth is that if you shot someone nowadays, the first thing people would want to know is what ties you had to your victim, and how Russia is involved. And no matter how much you huff-and-puff, Russia is the story that isn’t going away.
Gone are the heady days when you spent your time tweeting about Nordstrom’s and vowing revenge against food critics publishing scathing reviews of your hotel restaurants. In an incredible display of complete idiocy, you decided to tweet allegations that Obama had illegally “tapped your wires” (sic) in an attempt to distract attention from the growing avalanche of evidence that you and/or your cohorts colluded with Russia in order to interfere with our nation’s election process.
Did you notice that even your own party members refused to back you up? Did you notice that even they accepted, without question or hesitation, the determination of the FBI and the DOJ that you were completely full of shit?
Like I said, Donnie – it’s no longer working. The shiny objects you keep dangling in the air are no longer distracting the nation’s attention away from your failures, your incompetence, your persistently unhinged tweets, and the growing evidence of your probable treasonous behaviour.
If you’ve looked at your approval ratings of late, you know that even your base – the low-info voters who were too stupid to see through your act in the first place – is starting to erode. Yes, even the dumbest of the dumb eventually smarten up. It’s just a matter of time before they start asking when those jobs you promised them are going to miraculously appear, before they start wondering why you haven’t been able to deliver anything you assured them were your first priorities to enact, before they start realizing that you actually are the con-artist who bilked workers out of their hard-earned money, the fraudster who ran a phoney “university”, the self-proclaimed champion of those whose jobs have been outsourced who continues to outsource your own brand-name merchandise to offshore manufacturers.
The jig is up, Donnie. The crying wolf tack of yelling “fake news”, the mindless tweets, the appointment of totally incompetent people to Cabinet posts and advisory positions, the pitiful “rallies” meant to boost your insatiable ego, the continual lies about Obama “tapping your wires”, the Nunes debacle – they’re no longer working. On the contrary, the magnitude of your own stupidity is on display 24/7, and as far as the Russian ties story is concerned, you are apparently too stupid to realize that throwing gasoline on the fire is not the way to douse the conflagration.
You’re a loser, Donnie. A lot of us (most of us, if you look at the popular vote count) knew you were a loser from day one. And now, thanks to your own ineptitude, the world knows it.
As for your reliance on FOX-News reports that Obama was indeed spying on you, I wouldn’t get too comfortable with their current opinion. The truth is that you are a liability to the Republican party, and Fox & Friends will throw you under the bus the minute they get the signal from the GOP to do so. Your own party is not about to risk losing everything in the 2018 midterms in order to stand behind a man who is seen as Putin’s bitch.
Them’s the facts, Mr. Expendable. The lifeboats are already loading, and there’s no place in any of them for losers. You might want to start thinking about alternative travel arrangements before your last tweet consists of “glug, glug, glug” as you sink into the depths of the sea, while your fellow Republicans throw water on your sorry ass and deny they ever supported you in the first place.

Don’t Look Now, But …

Don’t look now, but the GOP Hell Scare Bill 2017 is still on the table with the Velveeta Raccoon, The Free Dumb Cocks and the Greed Over People Party, and it’s even scarier than their first attempt at screwing over the most in need, which is after all what they’ve always done best.

House Republicans still don’t have a deal to revive their health care bill, but the White House is laying the groundwork for negotiations to move quickly, meeting individually Monday with moderates and conservatives to discuss a possible agreement.
That agreement, which is still far from a reality, would hinge on Republicans accepting changes to their health care bill that would violate a key promise from President Donald Trump, namely that insurers would have to offer plans to people with pre-existing conditions.
While those regulations would still technically exist, the idea is that the House bill would now allow states to opt out of “community rating” regulations, which compel insurers to offer plans at the same rate for sick people. Ditching those protections would let insurers charge exorbitant rates for people with pre-existing conditions while also offering plans that don’t offer key services, like maternity care, hospitalization or lab services. Conservatives believe those people would then go into so-called high-risk pools for coverage, but the effect would still likely lead to people who need health care the most paying the most ― or not being able to afford coverage at all.
more here

THIS is how you make America Great Again

Dear Velveeta Raccoon;
THIS is how you could make America Great Again’ …
and it would be the closest thing you’ll ever do to resemble being ‘presidential’ …
Just insert your name in the appropriate spot, and voila! America is better instantly …
I’ll betcha Henry would even re-initial it for ya’ …
Just sayin’ …


And Donnie, seeing as you have the attention span of a gnat, and you’re incredibly fucking lazy, I’ve even got your copy all ready to go  for you …
Just grab one of those kid’s felt pens you like to sign shit with, do yer’ doodle, and wave this fucker around in front of the camera like all those E.O.’s you love to flash around …

win, win …



So, this just happened …

Donnie Bad Touch just declared April “Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention  Month”



I wonder how these fine ladies feel about this?


Just another fucking flip flop from the Liar in Chief …
Blotus has advocated FOR sexual assault his entire life up until now.



Trump: I am so excited to celebrate National Sexual Assault Month
Spicer: uh, Awareness and Prevention
Mr. President Trump: Oh