On Monday, President Trump announced that he would create a sixth branch of the armed forces he calls the Space Force.
“First they came for the shoe smugglers …”
Trump says Canadians are smuggling US goods into Canada to avoid tariffs: “They buy shoes and they wear ‘em. They scuff ‘em up to make ‘em sound old, or look old.”
I am Canadian! I smuggle shoes!
(but first I scuff ’em up so they look old)
We are ALL Canadian!
This is what it has come to?
Under the orders of armed men, a mother pulls the shoestrings from her daughter’s shoes before being dragged away from her crying child. They do this so that the children won’t hang themselves.
Can someone, anyone, please explain to me in what fucking world this is allowed to happen?
NEW at the Trump Store!
TRASHDANCE – the soundtrack to the “Lipitor in Singapore Summit”
© 2018 on Aryan Records
Trashdance – What a Reeling
Love Theme from Trashdance
Madman Across the Water
The Bitch Is Back (And I Called Her Melanie)
You Can Never Go Home Again (Home is Where the Indictments Are)
It’s Mueller Time in New York
Maniac (Donnie’s Theme)
Honky Tonk Women (Here’s your $130k)
Another Prick With A Wall – Part 1
Eye of the Whiner
Fat Man In A Bathtub
I Know It’s Only Cuck and Roll, But I Like It
In The White Room
Once, Twice, Three Times A Loser
I Write The Notes That Make My Lawyer Sing
Mandy (Here’s your $130k too)
Feelings ( I Have None) (Donnie a capella)
The Theme from ‘Rats’ (Memory – It’s fading)
I Just Can’t Wait To Be King (from The Lyin’ King)
and featuring a very special guest appearance by Mike Pence singing “It’s Raining Men”
And this can be yours for the low, low price of only $45.00 (USD) / 2842.24 Rubles
*Cash only, no cards.
Jeff Sessions delivers his personal birthday present to Hair Furor …
Report: Trump administration confirms it will hold migrant children in tent cities
The Trump administration has reportedly confirmed it will hold migrant children in tent cities, the first of which will be located in El Paso, Texas. The shelter will have 450 beds, and the children will sleep in tents. This should fill both A.G. (Asinine Ghoul) Sessions and Resident Trump with glee. #Fuckers
President Trump, seen here hiding his face from the onlooking camera, as he arrives to pick up his rather large cash payment for selling out his country. He also picked up the rights to build “an amazing, world class Trump brand condo and resort complex, the likes of which the world has never seen, on the beaches of North Korea, just as soon as those rocket launchers are moved” as a part of his payment for abandoning and ceding South Korea, Japan and Guam to the North Korean regime by removing all American troops from the DMZ.
“I have never even heard of this Donald J. Trump Foundation. And I’ve certainly never heard of this Donald Trump person either. He’s probably someone Crooked Hillary made up as an excuse for losing the election she should have won, even though that ni… friend of hers … had my phones tapped … trying to bring me down. And the press never looked into that. See, this is why I don’t trust the fake news media like yourself Leslie, if that is even your real name. Never heard of him, he never worked for me or my campaign, and NO COLLUSIN! None. None at all, and everybody knows it. Believe me. And, Leslie, check out these big beautiful hands. Many people are saying that they are almost too big. Many, many people are saying that. Trust me. Even Kim Jong …OOON! mentioned it. He said they were so big, so very, very big. That they might even be the biggest hands he had ever seen. He said that very strongly. Very, very strongly. NO! COLLUSION!!”
Singapore gives Trump a birthday cake ..
But where are the missing 71 candles? …
“Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 71 candles that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.”
I’ll second that.
This week on CCCP’s SISTER WIVES: Melania is back, & she’s pissed; Rudy meets a porn star he CAN love (well, afford); Hope drops everything to cheer up Donnie who is very upset that Robert Mueller is “always stalking him”: Traitor tot & his moron brother get indicted & Ivanka grabs the family Rubles & breaks it to the family that she’s moving to Sochi to be with her new beau Vladdy. Jared finally give in to his innermost feelings and loses his virginity to Mikey while ‘Mother’ watches (Michael Pence makes a special guest appearance as ‘himself’); Donnie professes his love for Hannity the manatee. (Warning: Intimate scenes between Donnie and Sean NOT suitable for family viewing – actually, to be honest, none of this clusterfuck of a performance is.)
Some violence, nudity, gay penetrative but consensual sex, ‘water sports’, treason, doucherocketry, racism and strong language. 18+
Warning: some pretty skeezy shit here, so set those PVR’s kids.
From the “You can’t make this shit up” department …
I’ll just leave this here …
Maybe he can borrow some of Melania’s old videos to hold him over until he gets to prison.
As for Giuliani, go fuck yourself ghoul. Hard.
When you throw a party for the Philadelphia Eagles and the guests of honor say “You’re an asshole. We’ll pass thanks.” …
That’s when you change the theme to ‘Celebration of America’ …
And ya’ still find a way to blow it ..