When Gramps just won’t stfu with the “Ni%%ers this” and “towel-heads and camel jockeys that” … when he’s grabbin’ every pussy that walks by, even if he’s related to said pussy … when he’s hangin’ with the neighborhood KKK aficionados … we at Pfizer/Upjohn have the answer. Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. We’ll keep that diapered, old, racist asshole quiet and unable to grab ANY pussy, FOREVER! Ask your local physician for a complete list of all the many incredibly potent and effective drugs we have to knock that old fuck out when the family gets together.
=> fine print <=
May cause serious stomach and intestinal ulcers that may occur at any time during treatment. Allergic reactions can occur. Individuals who have developed allergic reactions (rash, itching, difficulty breathing, anal bleeding, explosive projectile diarrhea, bleeding and excessive pus discharge from any and all openings/orifices, blindness, stroke, multiple cancers, deafness, erectile dysfunction, oozing, vomiting, itching, paranoia, death, narcolepsy, epilepsy, cravings for Pepsi, promiscuous behavior, odiferous and discolored ejaculate, and more – see fine-fine-fine print) May also increase the risk of heart attacks, stroke, and related conditions, which can be fatal. This risk may increase with duration of use and in patients who have underlying risk factors for heart and blood vessel conditions. Should not be used for the treatment of pain resulting from coronary artery bypass graft (CABG) surgery. NEVER use after breast enlargement/kidney surgery. WILL cause an increased risk of serious, even fatal, stomach and intestinal adverse reactions such as bleeding, ulcers, and perforation of the stomach or intestines. These events can occur at any time during treatment and without warning symptoms. Elderly patients may or may not survive, but hey, they’re old and have probably lived full lives anyways, so there’s that.
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