‘Mueller’s Fliphouse’

This weeks episode of ‘Mueller’s Playhouse
This week on “Mueller’s Fliphouse”
Mikey rats out everyone except Steve, who he is convinced will cut him while he sleeps if he says anything to Big Bobbie. Next week, will Jared be moving in and joining the crew? Or will it be  everyone’s favorite Shrek impersonator, Scary Huckleberry Slanders?.
Stay tuned!

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For the 17 peeps who will watch the SOTU tonight …

might as well play along with the spectacle …

 

and if BINGO isn’t your thing, might I suggest …

DRINKING A LOT!

The SOTU Drinking Game Official Rules 

Matt Taibbi

IF YOU DO NOT WATCH TONIGHT:

1. Turn off your television and just drink uninterruptedly until it’s over.

IF YOU DO WATCH:

Drink once each time President Trump:

1. Says “believe me,” or claims to be the “most (something good)” or the “least (something bad)”

2. Pulls out a “some of my best friends are Haitian” line, or in some other painful way denies being racist. Drink twice if he does so and then also talks about building the Wall.

3. Talks priapismically about the Republican tax cut package, or hints at the great relationship he enjoys with the GOP leadership, causing a cutaway to a mortified Paul Ryan or Mitch McConnell, as each struggles over whether or not to bite his glass cyanide capsule

4. Mentions ExxonMobil, Walmart, Apple or any other corporation that reportedly is investing in America because of Trump’s tax package

5. Uses the “pinchy hands” gesture (up to a maximum of three times)

6. Sniffles with suspicious vigorousness (again, maximum three shots)

7. Pulls a Kobe special and overcompliments his wife in embarrassingly public fashion in the wake of the Stormy Daniels story

8. Says something is “tremendous.” Drink twice if the thing in question was totally not tremendous, e.g., “What a tremendous first year this administration had.”

9. Causes a lawmaker to walk out mid-speech

10. Makes veiled/unveiled threat to North Korea that increases the chance that Guam will be annihilated before the end of the speech

11. Mentions the 702 Surveillance Reauthorization. Drink twice if you see members from both parties cheering

12. Mentions Jay-Z, Meryl Streep, Michael Wolff, Steve Bannon, “Fake News” CNN or Dianne Feinstein. Double shot for “FBI lovers” Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, “Dicky” Durbin, “Cryin'” Chuck Schumer, or “Crazy” Jim Acosta.

13. Mentions a “witch hunt.” Wrap arms with your friend and “collude” to drink each others’ shots if the word “collusion” is used instead

14. Mispronounces “Nazarbayev” or some similar personage. Double shot if he mispronounces Davos or talks about how much the Swiss love him

15. Mentions in admiring fashion Dr. King, Abraham Lincoln or some other defenseless dead person. Take a vote within your group to decide if Bob Dole counts

AFTER THE SPEECH:

1. THE VAN JONES RULE: Finish the ENTIRE BOTTLE of whatever you are drinking if anyone on any of the major networks describes the speech as “presidential” or says something along the lines of: “He became president tonight.”

2. THE LOU DOBBS RULE: If at the end of the speech you are not yet inebriated, turn to the Fox Business channel and take two despair shots.

 

And, if you’re not into BINGO or drinking heavily then you may want to try what the president himself will probably spend the day doing … CLICK HERE

 

 

Yer’ musical interlude for this evening

And now, a musical interlude …
Everybody, join in …