Category: satire
Dim Donnie and the Deplorables D-bag Alert
Daily Reminder: @realDonaldTrump is fucking nuts and @HillaryClinton was 100% spot on about his supporters.
He’s BROKE AF! and he has the country’s secrets. He WILL sell them, and we ALL know it.
Lock him up, NOW.
#DonaldTrump #MAGA #GOP #Trump #TrumpIsBroke #TrumpIsBrokeAF #DEPLORABLES
Also, as always, FUCK TRUMP!
B R O K E A. F. !!!
He’s not well, you know …
I have a dream …
The Weekly Grift – Episode 1257
The Never Surrender High-Tops
Meet The Never Surrender High-Tops. Only 1000 pairs will ever be released. Each pair is numbered. A truly worthless “collector’s item”. The First Official Sneaker by President Trump, released by Sneaker Cons LTD., a division of PutinCorp.
Bold, gold, and strong, just like the Russian hooker urine disgraced ex-president Trump loves so much.
They’re for the go-getters who don’t know or understand the word grift. With a standout gold finish and the ‘T’ (for Traitor) badge, these kicks, as the kids in the hood call them, are for true incel warriors and Meal Team Sicks wannabes. Wrapped with an American flag on the collar so as to pretend to give a flying fuck about this shithole country, they shout out to the fans of “the pee”. The Never Surrender sneakers, named after my most recent surrender (many more to follow, watch this site for weekly grifts), are my latest con in shoe form. Lace-up and step out of that basement suite at nanas. With only 1000 pairs ever to be released, Grab Your Limited Edition Pair Now. The Never Surrender High Tops are estimated to ship in July 2047.
Free shipping on orders over $453,000,000!
People who bought the above line of crap may also like these fine Trump products, which may also one day become reality. MAY.
Here come the carrot ferrets!
No Immunity For You!
Skellvis
Daily reminder …
Oh, FFS! SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!
CALLING ALL TRAITORS!!!
“Bring out your brain dead! Bring out your brain dead!”
Yo! MAGA!
Yer’ boi is havin’ another racist, lie-brag filled skeezfest/display of desperate impotence and victimhood! He gunna whine like the pussy ass bitch he is, with ALL the hits!
“Build the wall!” “Lock them up!” “I DON’T shit my diaper!” “It’s NOT a mushroom!” “I’m not really into golden showers.” and all your faves. Listen up Cletus, it’s time to git yer’ angry, unemployed, incel ass down to whatever fuckin’ field he’s not gunna pay the rent on this weekend and get that man some of yer’ hard earned cash! He’s broker than Kid Rock’s career and needs all the Rubles he can grift! That Top Secret dox money only went so far, ya’ know. So go grab sister-cousin to sell some of her meth stash, take in the empties, and let’s buy some fuckin’ hats, k, Billy-Joe-Ray-Bob? The ‘billionaire’ needs that $45, bad.
That Smell …
Ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell
Ooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you …
– Lynyrd Skynyrd
@realDonaldTrump , seen here, crapping his diaper, again, as he leaves Maralagofuckyerself on his way to lie-brag and whine at his latest rubefest.
Texas has a plan …
Today’s @GOP
@GovAbbott has a new plan …
– murder is now “on the table in Texas!”
Fk the GOP!
PAB, Episode ∞
God made what???
So, in a move that was, I guess, to be expected, Scumbag/traitor/tiny penis enthusiast, Donald J. (Jobless) Trump releses a video …
and trust me, it’s as fucked up as it sounds … 40 something minutes of lies, blasphemy and just plain idiocy that seem to have landed squarely in the Jim Jones “Hey, who wants Kool-Aid??” zone.
Now, I’m an atheist and even I get this is nonsense and grifting …
unfortunately millions won’t … and these fuckers are gunna vote, so, y’all better get off yer’ asses, put down the fkn lattes and GOTV!!
NOPE!
If there was a God, she sure as fuck wouldn’t do this.
Shocked, I tell ya’, shocked!
BREAKING: Trump’s businesses received $7.8 million from 20 foreign governments during his presidency, according to documents released by Democrats on Thursday.
Most of the monies came from or through China which is, coincidentally*, exactly what the GOP is accusing Biden of. Oops!
* as in ‘no fucking way it happened’
also see: gaslighting, bullshit, propaganda, GOP and traitors
Tears of a clown … part 8,756
St. Elmo’s Fire
Karma Update:
Take that stank to the bank!
All the news that’s shit to print
Know Yer’ GOP – Cancun Nights Edition
Rafael Edward Cruz (/kru:z/; born December 22, 1970) is a Canadian born,
pretend-American politician and pseudo-Nazi propagandist pretending to serve as
the junior United States Senator for Texas. He was the runner-up for the
Republican presidential nomination in the 2016 election, proving once and for all that only black Democrats need to be born in the United States to be president.
Ted is an avid Pornhub enthusiast and has been known to spend long evenings at
the office ‘tucking in his shirt’, often several times in an evening. Like I said, avid.
Ted is also a bloviating coward/phone banker (ask Fat Donnie and Heidi) and a
compulsive liar who never met a dollar he wouldn’t swallow for. (again, ask Fat
Donnie and Heidi). Ted has no friends because he’s a caustic, self-serving prick and because with all those ‘late shifts’, no-one ever wants to get very close. Often seen in the proximity of
Rudy 911iani, Russian oligarchs, a certain traitor known as ‘the ‘Shroom’, and pretty much anyone with a buck.
Know Yer’ GOP 069 of ∞
If it walks like a clown, and talks like a clown …
Then it must be the GOP impeachment team.
And nobody even got a damn hummer this time.
Here we go again, America.
Fuck these guys!
Vote every last one of these clowns out at the first opportunity.
Literally, the entire planet is counting on it.
James ‘Chucklefuck’ Comer (left) seen here discussing the Biden Impeachment plans with renowned Ohio pedo enabler Jim ‘the Shower King’ Jordan.
Know Yer’ GOP: Rudy Giuliani*
Rudolph William Louis Giuliani, aka Rudy Colludy; Rudy Deludey; Rudolph 911iani; Moscow Snitch; Trump’s cock-holster; “the Hump”; and “that fkn traitor that hangs on Trump’s dick”, is an American demagogue, grifter, serial sexual assaulter and disgraced ex-lawyer who served as the uber-racist, self-serving, 107th mayor of New York City from 1994 to 2001. He previously served as the United States Associate Attorney General from 1981 to 1983 and the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York from 1983 to 1989. Now, he’s a Trump shill and sycophant, desperately trying to stay out of prison.
Editor’s Note: Good luck with that, pal! LOL
Rudy, seen here, at a recent presser where he and his cohorts lied and grifted their greasy asses off, again.
* 9 time Winner of “d-bag apocalypse: Outstanding Performer”, 3 time “Asshat of the Month” and 2 time finalist in the “D-Bag of the Year”
“So much chinning …”
Dear Canada;
Liberty Biberty
Know Yer’ GQP …. GOPsies, Trumps and Thieves Edition
NEXT!!!
Now that Felicia Santos has been removed from the trough and kicked to the curb, my money is that next up is Matty the underage female enthusiast/Venmo master, and that Qev MacCarthy’s Pissy Bois gang will run him off the hill shortly … fingers crossed, huh?
Then, I’m givin’ even money that ole’ QevMac says “FUCK ALL, Y’ALL!!!” to the GQP and quits on them in a huff, as Qev is wont to do, leaving them with a razor thin majority and total fkn chaos … as usual.
Can’t wait! </s>