It’s looking more and more like we will shortly be watching America’s first non-white President hand over the Executive Office to America’s first non-male President.
And whether you vote for her or not, take a minute to stop all the partisan bullshit, take a deep breath, and say to yourself, “Team America, Fuck Yeah!”
It will be a truly stunning moment that only a decade or so ago seemed completely impossible.
Be amazed and awed by the privilege of being part of this time in history.
And, way to go America … Right side of history FTW!
Thank you, and keep up the good work.
The rest of the world
For those of you who missed it, and really can’t bear to watch the rerun you recorded … sniff.
Trump, knowing that he desperately needs ‘the women’s vote’ if he is to continue his charade grift scampaign run for the Whitehouse responds here to host Chris Wallace’s questions about the ever growing list of women that have come forward to accuse Mr. Cosby Trump of sexually assaulting them and whether he would apologize to them.
He basically said “I don’t know ‘em and I don’t assault anyone under a “9”, sniff, and these… these, these chicks are just, sniff, using me to get famous … sniff, did I mention I’d never assault these women – they’re like 4’s and stuff … sniff”.
The women of America respond to Donnie Bad Touch and his responses to the Chris Wallace questions.
Causing the Tangerine Anus’ poll numbers to perform much like the candidate’s businesses have over the years.
Then, Donnie says “maybe I will and maybe I won’t” when asked if he would accept the outcome of the election. He also made some snide-ass remark, mockingly and angrily wishing Hillary “good luck with that!”
Hillary strikes quickly and BOOM BABY!!! … it’s over.
GOP House Members seen here fleeing leaving Congress after watching last night’s debate.
(House leader Paul Ryan lower right)
I think we need to do an intervention here …
Oh, wait, never mind, she’s one of the grifters too … lol … how did I miss that?
It occurs to me after looking carefully at the photo that this poor woman has caught the Bat Shit Crazies … probably from Trump himself, which means … it’s freaking contagious!
Yikes! … RUN AWAY AMERICA! RUN AWAY!!!
well, that was <sniff> hardly fair <sniff> …
Normally I don’t listen to guys named Doody, however he has a valid point.
The Internet is a cruel mistress …
k, now yer’ just being silly…
Turn out the lights, the party’s over …
No pun intended. Donald Trump didn’t just finish off his own chances at any remote chance at victory on November 8th once and for all, he took the whole Republican party down with him. You’re trapped. Support him and you go down with the ship, run away from him and you look like you’re a day late and a dollar short. Stand with him and go down, hand in hand with this asshole, in what WILL be one of the bigger and most embarrassing blowouts in our time. Walk away from him and you will be held up as exactly the ‘self-serving’ politician that he and his idiot (and REALLY fucking angry) followers love to rail about. Ergo, ‘yer fucked! No matter what y’all do, ‘yer fucked!
Let the finger pointing/circular firing squad begin.
Tall, chilled glasses of ‘Tears of Impotent Rage’ all around!
Everybody in the basket!
p.s. Just off the top of my head, and I‘m just spitballin’ here, but, are not treason and/or fomenting revolution a capital offense which is punishable by hanging? … Maybe it’s time for some of that Trump style ‘Law and Order’ huh Donnie?
“Hombres, Nasty Women and Election Results, Schmelection results”
So… the trumspter fire started early and burned like a pile of tires soaked in gas for pretty much 90 straight minutes … then the Internet happened … result: Election 2016 officially ended last night … hello Madame President =), and fuck you Donnie. Now, go away, and don’t come around here no more.
Editor’s Note: Let’s lay off the rude comments about Trump’s hair guys, he can’t comb it until the condor eggs hatch … there will be plenty of time to mock the angry pumpkin overlord later, okay?
If this asshole’s gunna be prez, then it won’t be long before it’s mandatory to wear this hairstyle … it’s what all the cool overlords are doing these days …
Now, on with today’s tutorial …
We realize that this is a ‘do’ that takes some many years to master, so for those of you who need a helping hand, might I recommend the following book … it really helped me out here with my own ‘do’ …
and here’s proof that you too can do it! …
I’m feelin’ jacked as shit and ready for tonight’s debate pimpin’ my new ‘Trumpador 9001’ …
And the chicks dig it too!
… Make America Grope Again … “Who am I to second-guess a real estate mogul?” …
dude is about to get Mondale’d …
Big Lizzie, seen here arriving at the Whitehouse gates, has had enough of your crap America, and she’s done staying quiet, so listen the fuck up y’all.
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
BREAKING: Massive Effort To Rig 2016 Presidential Election Against Donald Trump Uncovered
Sources say the plan involves tens of millions of Americans who don’t like Donald Trump at all, find him completely repugnant and totally unqualified to hold ANY sort of public office, and plan to vote against him en masse on November 8th.
Details at Eleven …
Watch This Space …
It must also be noted that the ‘Mainstream Media’ blatantly and incessantly attacks Donald Trump … by playing recordings of Donald Trump speaking in his own words.
Amy Goodman Is Facing Prison for Reporting on the Dakota Access Pipeline. That Should Scare Us All.
The charges against Goodman are a clear attack on journalism and freedom of the press. Lizzy Ratner
The Arrest of Journalists and Filmmakers Covering the Dakota Pipeline Is a Threat to Democracy—and the Planet
Deia Schlosberg, Amy Goodman, and Shailene Woodley are among those who have been arrested while covering demonstrations against the Dakota Access Pipeline. Josh Fox
Judge Rejects “Riot” Charges Against Amy Goodman in North Dakota
A North Dakota judge today refused to authorize riot charges against award-winning journalist Amy Goodman for her reporting on an attack against Native American-led anti-pipeline protesters.
“This is a complete vindication of my right as a journalist to cover the attack on the protesters, and of the public’s right to know what is happening with the Dakota Access pipeline,” said Goodman. “We will continue to report on this epic struggle of Native Americans and their non-Native allies taking on the fossil fuel industry and an increasingly militarized police in this time when climate change threatens the planet.”
District Judge John Grinsteiner did not find probable cause to justify the charges filed on Friday October 14 by State’s Attorney Ladd R. Erickson. Those charges were presented after Erickson had withdrawn an earlier charge against Goodman of criminal trespass. Goodman had returned to North Dakota to turn herself in to the trespassing charge.
READ MORE HERE …
For the last three weeks, Alec Baldwin has been killing it as Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live, and Saturday’s episode was probably the best and most damaging (to Trump) yet. But apparently the tangerine groper isn’t a fan. The GOP/Fascist party nominee did what he does best and took to Twitter on Sunday morning, ‘cuz ya’ knew he would eh? … lol …
and check the time on the tweet …
My guess is that he stewed and seethed for a couple of hours after seeing the skit, then just lost his fucking mind and started tweeting
Jesus help us …
Never mind … if Bad Touch Donnie gets elected and builds his fucking
unicorn wall, then nobody named Jesus is gunna be showin’ up any time soon.
GOP Unveils New Trump-Pence Scampaign Posters and Motto
In a move designed to “bring in the kids and blacks and chicks and stuff” GOP head Rank Penis unveiled the newest Trump-Pence scampaign posters and motto to thunderous applause at today’s Donald Trump Rally in Podunkville, Arkansas.
The newest Trump-Pence scampaign poster features “a very hot Latina chick” and “will surely lock up the Hispanic vote for Trump” according to Trump sycophant Rudy ‘911!!!’ Giuliani.
Donald Trump Goes Missing … Again … Campaign In Chaos … As Always
UPDATE: Candidate found.
Mr. Trump seen here post capture, swearing to not run away again, as he departs New York for a scheduled KKK rally/Ted Nugent concert in Mississippi as a prep to this week’s debate.
In what is now apparently a regular occurance, GOP Presidential nominee and man possum Donald ‘Bad Touch Donnie’ Trump ( I know, how cliché, all these freaking mobsters and con men seem to have aliases and nicknames ) went missing from scampaign HQ in Thump Tower. Scampaign spokesliar and frothing attack dog, the ever snarling and prevaricating Boris ‘The Rat’ Epshteyn told the gathered press pool that “this sort of thing is not a reason for alarm in any way,” the candidate simply lost his way while “meditating and pondering all the ways that Mr. Trump can make America great again.”
A witness to the ‘capture’ of the GOP candidate told CNN that “ some crazy, old, scarily naked, orange dude with the eyes of a raccoon was walking down 5th Avenue laughing hysterically and yelling incoherently about the Illuminati, Jews, Lindsay Lohan’s ass, some guy name Lyin’ Ryan, micro-penises and Crooked Hillary’s titties.” The witness also told CNN that Mr. Trump MAY have been masturbating as well, “but his hands and penis are so tiny that it was really hard to tell for sure.”
Scampaign head Kellyanne Conway issued a short written statement that read simply
“Leave me the fuck alone, I’m sorry, okay? Just go away, I had no idea the man was so bat shit CRAZY! Okay, NO I-DE-A! None! Now all of you, please, just go AWAY!!!!”
Rudy Giuliani, new acting scampaign manager, head sycophant and all around skeeze, spit a lot as he screamed something about 911 and “radical gay-Muslim-terrorist-negroes” and slammed the door in our reporters face when asked about Mr. Trump’s disappearance and ‘recovery’. We are still awaiting a response from whoever the hell is left in the campaign.
In a semi-related story embattled New Jersey governor Chris Christie has left the Trump/Pence scampaign as he’s “probably off to prison shortly and just wants to spend a few days with Mary Pat before bunking with some dude name Gino for the next decade or so.”