Car Crash of the Day

Trump car crash of the day by hip is everythingEverybody gets it. Resident Scump runs his government like a drunk running a stop sign on the edge of a train track, with the pedal to the metal, and that literally ANYTHING can and probably will go wrong on any given day. Fuck, at any given moment is more accurate. No news there, and most days there’s so much to choose from as to which ‘event’ or stunt is the most offensive, the most shameful, the most embarrassing, that you wind up missing a whole bunch of stuff that would normally make you go “what the fuck was that?!?” So, I’m gunna try and point out a few of those with the ‘Car Crash of the Day’ and nope, I ain’t gunna promise to do it every day. I’m way too busy trying to duck all this other shit just like all of you, and the whole Trump presidency is such a colossal clusterfuck-tire-fire that there’s no way to take it all in without losing your mind completely. But I will try to get to as many as I can.

Well, today’s big lie anyways …

The White House’s audacious new lie about the women accusing the president of sexual abuse
There is only one “eyewitness,” and his story is a sham.

Judd Legum – Think Progress

This morning, three women who have accused Trump of sexual assaulting them appeared on Megyn Kelly’s talk show, sharing new details of what they say was abuse at the hands of the president. They are among at least 14 women who accuse Trump of sexual assault. In response, the White House issued a statement claiming these women are lying. Notably, the White House claims that the accusations were contradicted “in most cases” by eyewitnesses:

These false claims, totally disputed in most cases by eyewitness accounts, were addressed at length during last year’s campaign, and the American people voiced their judgment by delivering a decisive victory. The timing and absurdity of these false claims speaks volumes, and the publicity tour that has begun only further confirms the political motives behind them.

This is a lie.

Only one “eyewitness” has ever emerged to dispute a claim of sexual assault against Trump. That man, Anthony Gilberthorpe, is a serial fabulist with a history of pushing false stories for a few minutes of attention.

Gilberthorpe claims that he was in the first-class cabin with Trump and Jessica Leeds during a cross-country flight in 1980. Gilberthorpe presented no actual evidence that he was on the flight, “just his self-described excellent memory.” He also did not explain why he might have been on a first-class domestic flight in the U.S. as an 18-year-old British boy. He also did not explain why, if he had been on such a flight, he would remember an interaction between Trump and Leeds in which “nothing inappropriate” occurred. He also claims that Leeds, who was in her 30s at the time, confided in him during the flight that she wanted to marry Trump.

But even more telling is Gilberthorpe’s long history as a fraud and a liar.

In 1987, for example, he told newspapers in England that he was engaged to fashion designer in California named Miss Leah Bergdorf-Hunt. “Both our families are delighted,” he told The Gloucester Express. It was later revealed that he was not engaged. Also there was no Miss Bergdorf-Hunt. He invented the whole thing.

He later won a substantial libel judgment from British newspapers that reported he had AIDS. But it eventually came out that Gilberthorpe himself was the source for the story. The newspapers appealed and Gilberthorpe ended up settling after the newspapers agreed to offset a small portion of his legal fees. The incident left him “very much out of pocket and with egg all over his face.”

Gilberthorpe also contends that, as a young man, he was “paid to recruit underage rent boys for orgies attended by ministers from Margaret Thatcher’s cabinet.” There is no evidence to support his salacious claims.

Trump’s eagerness to rely on such an unreliable account suggests he has little information that contradict the allegations against him.

During the campaign, Trump and Mike Pence promised information that would prove all the allegations against Trump are “all categorically false.” They later confirmed that they were alluding to Gilberthorpe’s story.


Months later, they are not only still referencing Gilberthorpe’s tale but also claiming there is eyewitness testimony contradicting “most” of Trump’s accusers.

For many of Trump’s accusers, there has been no response at all. For others, Trump has issued a blanket denial. In one case, Trump’s former butler said he didn’t think the allegations were credible. In another, Trump suggested the woman making the allegation was too ugly for him to sexually assault.

But there haven’t been eyewitnesses, even unreliable ones, that contradict Trump’s accusers in “most” cases.

There is just Anthony Gilberthorpe.


Pence Updates …

Dazed Mike Pence Wakes Up 15 Miles Outside D.C. After Asking God To Deliver Him From Evil

also happening in Pence world …

Panic Floods Mike Pence’s System Before Realizing Hand On Knee His Own

WASHINGTON—His heart racing in terror as he struggled to breathe, Vice President Mike Pence was reportedly flooded with panic Thursday before he realized the hand resting on his knee during a conference at the White House was his own. “Oh, thank God,” thought a visibly relieved Pence, wiping away the droplets of sweat that had rapidly accumulated on his forehead. “That was close. Just to be safe, I should always keep a healthy gap between myself and the person seated next to me from now on. But, honestly, it’s unacceptable for even my own hand to rest on my knee—it’s the first wicked step on the path to a life of whore-mongering.” At press time, Pence had instructed aides to bind his wrists behind his back at the beginning of every meeting.   from the Onion

Also worth the read …

In Traitor Tot news…

Panicked Donald Trump Jr. Tries To Cover Up Contact With WikiLeaks By Deleting Firefox Icon From Desktop

and  …

from the total douche-rocket, d-bag department …

New RNC Ad Endorses Roy Moore: ‘He’s A Scumbag, But He’s Our Scumbag’

A young lady walks into a bar …

A beautiful young lady, in her early 20’s, walks into a bar …

Donald Trump – I’d grab her pussy.

Roy Moore – She’s way too old.

Trent Franks – I’d pay to impregnate that.

Mike Pence – <runs out scared>  “Mottthhheeerrr!”

Marco Rubio – I agree with everyone.

Paul Ryan – Has anyone seen my spine? I can’t seem to find it anywhere.

Mitch McConnell – My wife got an awesome job, and now I can speak Russian to boot.

Jeff Sessions – She’s too tall.

Tucker Carlson – What’s a pussy??

Sean Hannity – I have no idea Tucker.

Rush Limbaugh – You think she has any oxys?

Geraldo Rivera – I haven’t been able to sustain an erection since 1993.

Ann Coulter – Neither have I Geraldo.

“In short, I fulfilled my potential”

Because it’s Friday here’s a moment …

“I grew up like most kids, worried I couldn’t bench two plates”.

“We were star-crossed. He’s a surfer. I’m a body-boarder.”

“I didn’t need love, I had keg stands.”

“In short, I fulfilled my potential”




“They’re like demons from another dimension I tell you …”

bat shit crazy header by hip is everything2017

bat-shit crazy
adj. (slang): A combined state of mental agitation and physical volatility. It’s use may provide warning that the individual it describes has lost all self-control and cannot be reasoned with. Can refer to either a chronic or temporary condition.

Well, another week, and we get what feels like another decade’s worth of right wing, bat shit crazy, bloviating, bleating, bellowing bullshit and bluster. And this week was as totally fucking nuts as last week, and the week before that, and the week before that one, ad infinitum …
So, grab some popcorn, a cool beverage or whatever else is getting you through all this shit and get set to crank out some  “oh, fuck yous” and a couple of “what the fuck’s”, followed by at least one “I hate these assholes!!!!!!! please make it stop!!!!!” …

Ladies and gents … may I present …

Wow, two weeks in a row for this low life asshole …

Alex Jones Compares ‘Morning Joe’ Hosts To Demons & Impersonates A Demonic Mika Brzezinski

Alex Jones, the nutritional supplement salesman who created Infowars, compared the hosts of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” to demonic aliens in the Netflix series “Stranger Things” and performed a demonic impression of co-host Mika Brzezinski.
Today, Jones said that co-hosts Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough were “parasites” who “will be removed” once Jones and his followers save America from the globalists.
“They’re both like horrible foot-long tapeworms, man. I’m telling you. Tapeworms that we vomited out and crapped out and they’re just trying to force-feed themselves back into our lives. They’re like gonorrhea or syphilis, I mean they are just—they’re like HIV. They’re like cancer. They are just—I mean you have to understand, folks, they literally want to destroy you,” Jones said. ”God, they’re evil. Do you realize how evil these people are?”
He then homed in on Brzezinski, claiming that people who have been at dinner parties with the duo have told him “she is just so evil and so into herself like her evil father that she just sits there and goes—“
Jones then interrupted himself and performed a demonic impression on Brzezinski, sticking out his tongue and rolling the eyes into the back of his head, making gargling noises and convulsing.
“They’re like from upside-down world, folks. You have to understand. They’ve broken into this dimension. They want to destroy us,” Jones said.
Last week, Jones gave a similarly theatrical performance while warning viewers of what he believes to be brain-eating lesbians in sex dungeons.   By Jared Holt

And, just so Alex doesn’t feel like he was all alone out there in bat-shit-crazy-land whipping up the cray cray, here’s just a couple of his idiot brethren who are doing just fine with the insanity and bigotry all by themselves …

Roy Moore: America Was Last Great When We Had Slavery

Ex-Argentina Pres Charged w/Treason for Iran Cover-Up, Obama Next?

DOJ Investigating Planned Parenthood’s Baby Parts Ring

Lou Dobbs: Arrest Obama For Criticizing Trump Abroad

Fox’s Gutfeld: Trump’s ‘Pocahontas’ Remark Was A Compliment To Native Americans

Donald Trump’s ‘working visit’ to Muslim-Ruled UK dropped as tensions with liar Theresa May grow over president’s patriotic retweets

Dave Daubenmire Wonders If Vaccines Are Making People Gay

Liz Crokin: Megyn Kelly Is Not As Beautiful As She Once Was Because She ‘Sold Her Soul To The Devil’

Carl Gallups: Trump Is ‘Getting His Ducks In A Row’ To Finally Expose Obama’s Phony Birth Certificate

Sean Hannity And Steve Bannon Fear The Deep State Will Arrest Them For Supporting Trump

Hannity And Jarrett: The FBI Is ‘Like The Old KGB’

As Trump Supports Moore, Fox’s Faulkner Gushes Over ‘Such Leadership’ From Republicans On Sexual Harassment

Jeanine Pirro: James Comey Is A ‘Political Whore’

and you wonder why there’s a communication breakdown …

He’s Fine, Just Fine …

Trump Is Fine, White House Says, And Will Get a Physical Soon To Prove It

“Concern over slurred words ridiculous, he’s fitter than any man in history.”  – ‘Shrek’ Slanders

President Donald Trump will undergo a physical at the beginning of 2018 and the results will subsequently be released according to White House press secretary and head sycophant Scary Huckleberry Slanders. His physical will be performed by Dr. S.T. Range, D.V.M. with Internals and STD testing to be performed by Dr. Zhivago, K.G.B. at the GMS Clinic Смоленская. The results like his tax returns have been promised but will never be seen. Much like his erections.

Coincidence or Not? … You Decide

December 5, 2017

Pizza Hut customers can now get cold beer delivered alongside their food order.

Customers can order Budweiser, Bud Light, Shock Top, or local beer for $10.99 a six pack. The beer and wine will be delivered in a custom cooler to ensure those six packs are ready to drink.

December 6, 2017

White House downplays Trump’s slurred speech | New York Post

Near the end of his speech on Wednesday, the president started breathing heavily, and when he concluded with “God bless the United States,” the word “States” sounded like “Shtates.”

Hmmm …
Quick, someone call Alex Jones!

They Thought They Were Free

Those who fail to remember history are doomed to repeat it.

“… one doesn’t see exactly where or how to move. Believe me, this is true. Each act, each occasion, is worse than the last, but only a little worse. You wait for the next and the next. You wait for one great shocking occasion, thinking that others, when such a shock comes, will join with you in resisting somehow. You don’t want to act, or even talk, alone; you don’t want to ‘go out of your way to make trouble.’ Why not?—Well, you are not in the habit of doing it. And it is not just fear, fear of standing alone, that restrains you; it is also genuine uncertainty.

“Uncertainty is a very important factor, and, instead of decreasing as time goes on, it grows. Outside, in the streets, in the general community, ‘everyone’ is happy. One hears no protest, and certainly sees none. You know, in France or Italy there would be slogans against the government painted on walls and fences; in Germany, outside the great cities, perhaps, there is not even this. In the university community, in your own community, you speak privately to your colleagues, some of whom certainly feel as you do; but what do they say? They say, ‘It’s not so bad’ or ‘You’re seeing things’ or ‘You’re an alarmist.’

“And you are an alarmist. You are saying that this must lead to this, and you can’t prove it. These are the beginnings, yes; but how do you know for sure when you don’t know the end, and how do you know, or even surmise, the end? On the one hand, your enemies, the law, the regime, the Party, intimidate you. On the other, your colleagues pooh-pooh you as pessimistic or even neurotic. You are left with your close friends, who are, naturally, people who have always thought as you have.

“But your friends are fewer now. Some have drifted off somewhere or submerged themselves in their work. You no longer see as many as you did at meetings or gatherings. Informal groups become smaller; attendance drops off in little organizations, and the organizations themselves wither. Now, in small gatherings of your oldest friends, you feel that you are talking to yourselves, that you are isolated from the reality of things. This weakens your confidence still further and serves as a further deterrent to—to what? It is clearer all the time that, if you are going to do anything, you must make an occasion to do it, and then you are obviously a troublemaker. So you wait, and you wait.

“But the one great shocking occasion, when tens or hundreds or thousands will join with you, never comes. That’s the difficulty. If the last and worst act of the whole regime had come immediately after the first and smallest, thousands, yes, millions would have been sufficiently shocked—if, let us say, the gassing of the Jews in ’43 had come immediately after the ‘German Firm’ stickers on the windows of non-Jewish shops in ’33. But of course this isn’t the way it happens. In between come all the hundreds of little steps, some of them imperceptible, each of them preparing you not to be shocked by the next. Step C is not so much worse than Step B, and, if you did not make a stand at Step B, why should you at Step C? And so on to Step D.

“And one day, too late, your principles, if you were ever sensible of them, all rush in upon you. The burden of self-deception has grown too heavy, and some minor incident, in my case my little boy, hardly more than a baby, saying ‘Jewish swine,’ collapses it all at once, and you see that everything, everything, has changed and changed completely under your nose. The world you live in—your nation, your people—is not the world you were born in at all. The forms are all there, all untouched, all reassuring, the houses, the shops, the jobs, the mealtimes, the visits, the concerts, the cinema, the holidays. But the spirit, which you never noticed because you made the lifelong mistake of identifying it with the forms, is changed. Now you live in a world of hate and fear, and the people who hate and fear do not even know it themselves; when everyone is transformed, no one is transformed. Now you live in a system which rules without responsibility even to God. The system itself could not have intended this in the beginning, but in order to sustain itself it was compelled to go all the way.

First published in 1955, They Thought They Were Free is an examination of the development of fascism in Germany. Mayer’s book is a study of ten Germans and their lives from 1933-45, based on interviews he conducted after the war when he lived in Germany. Mayer had a position as a research professor at the University of Frankfurt and lived in a nearby small Hessian town which he disguised with the name “Kronenberg.” “These ten men were not men of distinction,” Mayer noted, but they had been members of the Nazi Party; Mayer wanted to discover what had made them Nazis.

“What happened here was the gradual habituation of the people, little by little, to being governed by surprise; to receiving decisions deliberated in secret; to believing that the situation was so complicated that the government had to act on information which the people could not understand, or so dangerous that, even if the people could not understand it, it could not be released because of national security. And their sense of identification with Hitler, their trust in him, made it easier to widen this gap and reassured those who would otherwise have worried about it.”–from Chapter 13, “But Then It Was Too Late”

Impeach The President – Honey Drippers

Just ‘cos it made me smile, and who can’t use one of those these days?

Roy Charles Hammond (born August 3, 1939), better known as Roy C or Roy “C”, is an American southern soul singer, songwriter and record executive, best known for his 1965 hit, “Shotgun Wedding”. Another song, “Impeach the President” (1973), which he recorded and produced with a high school group, the Honey Drippers, has had one of the most sampled drum tracks in hip hop music.
Impeach the President” was a song advocating for the impeachment of President Richard Nixon due to the ongoing Watergate scandal and resulting impeachment process against Richard Nixon.

Wush Di You Shay?

President Trump, seen here giving his “Jerusalem speech” today.

In an effort to deflect from his own personal legal issues at home Resident Rump today did his best to start some wars elsewhere.
While almost the entire world, including every one of America’s ‘allies’ warned Hair Furor that this would be an incredibly unsettling, destabilizing and dangerous decision, President Donald Trump did what he always does and refused to listen to anyone and announced that the United States would recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s official capital did draw effusive praise from many American evangelical Christians – largely because they believe it will bring about the apocalypse, so that’s good.
“Fuck me Mabel, that kid ain’t right in the head … we’re all gunna die”

worth the read …
Donald Trump’s Jerusalem speech descended into a weird, slurred mess

Trump confused everyone with slurred words during Jerusalem speech

But, don’t worry folks, even if it was a stroke, Bad Touch Donnie is in good hands …
"let's see what's in here, shall we?"

Breaking … “It was me all along.”

Trump’s Lawyer Admits It Was Him

John Dowd, second rate lawyer for Hair Furor, and soon to be disbarred and imprisoned ex-lawyer, admitted today that is was he who was the voice on the Hollywood Access tape. As well, he admitted to being the person behind the Hindenburg disaster, the Lindbergh kidnapping, the disappearance of Amelia Earhart, the murder of J.R. Ewing, the death of reason, the Great Depression, chlamydia, lawn darts, the Real Housewives of Dallas, the fall of the Roman Empire, 90 Day Fiancé, and the betrayal of Jesus. He also claimed to be the person who “did all the pussy grabbing for Mr. Trump.” Mr. Dowd told the assembled press pool that “It was me, I did it all, the Glorious Leader, Sum Dim Phuc, is way too busy saving Christmas and making America great again to be doing that kind of stuff, and Mr. Trump, being a man of impeccable morals and brutal honesty, will be more than happy to testify to that in ANY court of law. Finally, I would just like to apologize to Mr. Trump, who truly is the real victim in all of this.”




The “psychotic pilgrim” seen here moments after being hit by several ‘sedative darts’

Capitol Police, the F.B.I. and several other local law enforcement agencies ‘scrambled’ to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue late this evening in response to an anonymous call that a “ranting, confused, obviously delusional and most likely under the influence pilgrim” had apparently stormed the Whiter House press room and was holding the podium hostage while ranting incoherently about Russians.
She was quickly subdued by Park Rangers using several sedative darts.
Park Ranger SWAT Team leader Rob Mooler told the assembled press outside that ”I’ve been doing this job for 37 years and let me tell you guys, that was some brawl. I’ve seen full grown grizzlies during rutting season drop using a quarter of what we used here tonight, but, everyone is safe and that’s what really matters.”
The woman has not yet been identified.

More info as it becomes available …


The ‘psychotic pilgrim’ as the press is now calling her has been identified as one Scary Huckleberry Slanders, a local runaway and ne’er-do-well, known to authorities.