It’s like word salad, but dumber …
like Jeopardy with 1 really, really stupid competitor.
On Elon Musk: TRUMP: “Well, you have to give him credit. I spoke to him very recently, and he’s also doing the rockets. He likes rockets. And he does good at rockets too, by the way. I never saw where the engines come down with no wings, no anything, and they’re landing. I said I’ve never seen that before and I was worried about him, because he’s one of our great geniuses, and we have to protect our genius you know, we have to protect Thomas Edison and we have to protect all of these people that came up with originally the light bulb and the wheel and all of these things. And he’s one of our very smart people and we want to we want to cherish those people. That’s very important. But he’s done a very good job. Shocking how well you know, how it’s come so fast. I mean you go back a year and they were talking about the end of the company. And now all of a sudden they’re talking about these great things.”
NOTE:The earliest known use of the wheel was as the pottery wheel and its invention came about around 5,500 years ago in Mesopotamia.
On the Economy: TRUMP: “We have an incredible economy. The consumer has never been so rich. They you know, they’re between the tax cuts and the regulation cuts. People forget about regulation. I think it might have been more important than the tax cuts. But we have a consumer in the United States that has never done so well. And I think we’re really poised to have I think we have tremendous potential. I want to know who are the people that buy. Okay? Who are the people that buy and they invest in Germany and end up getting, you know, less money at the period of time so I have to find these people. But no, if Germany and we’re the most prime in the world. We’re the leader in the world. We have the dollar, and the dollar’s very strong. A lotta a lotta things are happening.”
On Apple: TRUMP:” I like them a lot. I think we should do some encryption. I think we should– we should start finding some of the bad people out there that we can do with Apple. I think it’s very important. Frankly, I’ve helped them a lot. I’ve given them waivers, because I want them– it’s a great company, but it made a big difference. Now, you know, they compete against Samsung. Mostly Samsung. I guess that would be their number one competitor. That’s from South Korea. It’s not fair, because we have a trade deal with South Korea, so Samsung would get the no waiver. And they would– they would have to pay– tariffs. So I did waivers, but I want them to help us a little bit. They– you know, Apple has to help us. And I’m very strong on it. They have the keys to so many criminals and criminal minds, and we can do things. When they had the problem with the– recently in Florida. I won’t go into it, because it’s so horrible.”
In January of 2020, Mr. Peanut sacrificed his life to save his friends Wesley Snipes and Matt Walsh, and died in a fiery explosion. A commercial during Super Bowl LIV will serve as Mr. Peanut’s funeral; Planters has not ruled out the death being a comic book death.
MR. PEANUT HAS DIED!
Police are still investigating, and so far no-one is sure what the hell has happened, but rumors are starting to swirl …
Many people believe Mr. P. may have even had info on EPSTEIN!
Was he scared of winding up like this?
In a nutshell, no-one knows! …
We may never know.
TODAY’S RECIPE: “DIMWIT SALAD”
2 parts moron
2 parts illiterate old man
4 parts clueless and confused
65 LBs KFC Extra Crunchy
2-50 gallon drums of ‘Vlad’s Extra Strength Spray Tan (Shit-hole Pumpkin #45)
1 gallon of “Russian Formula” Hair Dye – Urine Trouble Gold: “2 Girls, 1 Room”
Innumerable Diet Cokes
More ketchup and burnt to a cinder meat than anyone ever thought possible
More than a little bloviating dementia
Several large scoops of sexual assault, rape and potentially incestuous ‘shroom pounding
1 giant, orange, lying asshole
Mix well and spew
oh, but wait, the slurring, snorting, stumbling, stammering and stupidity is just ramping up …
take it away Dr. Dimwitzky …
Nice, dumb AND without any empathy …
Good thing this dude’s not in charge of the nucl … oh wait … fuck! …
We’re all gunna die aren’t we Mabel?
Rushbo? Hannity? Pulitzers????? I got nuttin’ … wow …
Bernie: “How did Trump become president? I think it speaks to something that I talk about a lot and that is the fact that tens and tens of millions of Americans feel that the political establishment, Republican and Democrat, have failed them. Maybe the New York Times has failed them, too.”
Well kids, that didn’t take long huh?
Same old shit from the same old shit ..
America’s angry old grandpa, Bernie Angerz, once again belting out (ad nauseam) his top ten hit “False Equivalency”, blaming Repugs and Dems equally for failing the American people, and “let’s not forget the New York Times.”
It didn’t take long for Gramps McAngerson to jump on the old Donnie McShartson “failing New York Times” train. And that seems to be happening more and more lately.
Seems to me the old fart will pretty much play any card he can get to get nominated.
Maybe it’s an angry old guy thing.
Maybe it’s a Cialis thing.
Maybe it’s a Rubles thing,
I dunno … you tell me.
And another thing.
I don’t ever recall seeing these two old geezers in a room together …
Do you think …?
Nah, couldn’t be …
p.s. Dude, Pro Tip for ya’ …
STOP wagging those nasty, gnarly, banged up, old man digits of yours at the audience every time you speak. Yer’ freakin’ out the children and ya’ just look really pissy and old.
And some shit just don’t need any extra advertising if ya’ know what I mean.
You can now buy Traitor Tot’s recently released attempt at a book, “Triggered”, for $2.39, with FREE SHIPPING.
It costs more than that to ship this waste of paper.
They are paying MAGAts, QBots and PGA’s** at a loss to them, to take it off their hands.
They could literally throw shit in a dumpster for cheaper.
It would be cheaper to buy the book and use it for the bottom of your bird cage to catch shit on than it would be to buy newspapers to use.
It would be cheaper to just walk by this homage to irrelevance and impotence in the store than pick it up for free, as the time it took to bend over and pick this literary trash up is already more valuable than the book.
But then, people might figure out that no-one had actually bought a copy, and how embarrassing would that be, huh?
LOL, tricked ya’!
These fuckers can’t spell shame, never mind feel it.
And that my friends, is why they are ‘on sale’ now.
Oh yeah, the list price was $30.00 a few weeks ago.
**PGA – Pussy Grabbing Aficionado
AUSTRALIA Apparently wombats in fire effected areas are not only allowing other animals to take shelter in their deep, fire-resistant burrows but are actively herding fleeing animals into them. If only America had a president who showed as much intelligence, empathy and leadership … but alas … sigh, tis not to be.
Fuck that “Be Best” con, BE THE WOMBAT!
I’m me and I approve this message!
Well, it’s a day late, but hey, better late than never huh?
Today’s lucky sacrificial lamb is …
none other than D.C.s favorite DUI King …
Matt the Splat Gaetz!
“Gaetz is not welcome at the White House nor is he encouraged to attempt to talk to the president.” Trump retaliates against Gaetz’s decision to vote for the War Powers act.
According to a report from the Washington Post, Donald Trump is furious with Rep.Matt Gaetz (R-FL) for voting with the Democrats to limit his war powers and now the White House is shutting out the lawmaker who is mostly known for being one of the president’s most avid defenders. “Trump fiercely complained about Gaetz after aides informed Trump that his office had sent the email backing the resolution.”
noun: word salad
a confused or unintelligible mixture of seemingly random words and phrases, specifically (in psychiatry) as a form of speech indicative of advanced schizophrenia.
Some moron pretending to be … oh, wait, nope, it IS the so-called president speaking here ..
giving another of his Sycophants R UsR News “interviews” …
Well, we have to have a position where we can do what we have to do, if we have to do it. So, we’re talking right now to Congress. We’re negotiating with a lot of different people. But we have to keep that presidential power. You have to be able to make a decision, I mean literally, sometimes, on a second, on a dime’s notice. So, we’ll be seeing what’s going on, I think we’re getting some very good … (trails off)
I mean, they — long — he’s been there for a long time, 20 years, probably more than that. Killed a lot of people, killed a lot of Americans. His big thing was roadside bombs, he loved them, and we have so many young men and women walking around without legs …
It expires very soon. I mean, if it was to run out — we terminated it, but it expires very soon. You need a lot of length, as the countries, you know, we’re talking about is not — you’re not renting to a candy store in a shopping center, and so what happened is, I terminated it, and I think we’re making a lot of progress.
Interviewer: You said yesterday, you told the American public, that you believe the military threat had lessened. Iran was standing down, and with that, we’re still now getting warnings from Homeland Security, that the cyber threat is up.
Well, it’s a great question. Cyber is a whole new thing. It’s a whole new field. We have some tremendous people. We’re better at cyber than anybody else in the world. But we weren’t really using that power, that intellect, on cyber. We weren’t doing it, and now we are, and we have — I have — incredible people in charge of cyber. If we ever get hit, we’ll hit very hard. We’ll be able to hit very hard But it’s a new form of war — warfare, and I think we have it very well under control.
Oh Jesus, take me now.
What? you don’t take atheists?
I gotta stay here and listen to this idiot’s crap?
Aarrrgghhh …. fuck!
As always, some wise words from the Rude Pundit …
Donald Trump is a coward. This much we must agree on before moving on. Everything he does, everything he has done, is based on his soul-draining fears. He fears that he will not be perceived as a success, a tough guy, a charmer, a winner of everything. He lashes out at anyone who foments those fears, those who tell him he’s wrong, or those who want to hinder him. He is driven by his panic that everyone will find out that he is entirely a fake, entirely a fraud. He is running away from the legacy of the still-beloved Barack Obama and the laughter that accompanies any comparison between him and the last president. Just like the buildings and products and businesses, he is merely a body, a vessel that has the word “Trump” stamped on it, and, goddamnit, that name better mean something or it all crumbles. In the business world, this led him to wildly overspend and wrongly invest, which led him to need financing from the skeeviest elements in the banking system, which led him to the presidency, which led us to this pivotal moment, one pivotal moment among far, far too many.
But we know that. We knew that when he started talking and blustering about all the ways he would kick this person’s ass or that country’s balls. A man who uses the phrase “bomb the shit out of them” when talking about a bunch of bedraggled, starving terrorists who live among civilians who don’t want them there hasn’t an ounce of courage in him. We know that we have been led by cowards who talk tough about the enemy because it’s all they can do to cover up for their intense cowardice that hangs like a vulture ready to peck out their eyes. Mostly Republicans, yes, but too often pathetic Democrats join in this mask of bloodlust.
In response to the prospect of WWIII and a nuclear fallout, Susan Collins (R- Maine) reports she is feeling, “wholeheartedly disappointed.”
You sure you don’t want to add a stern brow furrowing and maybe a finger wag?
… maybe click here and let Susan know that you’re ”wholeheartedly disappointed” in her.