…… uh …

so, we’re hours away from the 1 year anniversary of Bad Touch Donnie being sworn in and this is a headline today …

….. uh …


and now this is on her billboards and flyers where she works …

I quit …

way to MAGA Donnie … way to go …



Happy Friday! … The “spank me daddy!” Edition

NOTE: okay, this one may be NSFW – depending on yer’ work ofc …

Ivanka Trump Lookalike Stormy Daniels Once Claimed She Spanked Donald Trump With a Forbes Magazine
– At his request.

Mother Jones has learned that Daniels years earlier talked about having had a sexual relationship with Trump—and in lurid detail. According to 2009 emails between political operatives who were at the time advising Daniels on a possible political campaign**, the adult film actor and director claimed that her affair with Trump included an unusual act: spanking him with a copy of Forbes magazine.

Stormy Daniels: “He told me once that I was someone to be reckoned with, beautiful, smart, just like his daughter. And, then he f**ked me.”

**seriously kids, you just can’t make this shit up …

and of course, Twitter went to work … got all biblical and shit too … lol …









I Can’t Believe I missed This One

Really, I can’t believe I missed this …


noun trum·pery \ ˈtrəm-p(ə-)rē \

Definition of trumpery
1 a : worthless nonsense
b : trivial or useless articles : junk
– a wagon loaded with household trumpery – Washington Irving

2 archaic : tawdry finery

– trumpery – adjective


sometimes shit just works out right ya’ know …

Bat Shit Crazy Time

bat shit crazy header by hip is everything2017

bat-shit crazy
adj. (slang): A combined state of mental agitation and physical volatility. It’s use may provide warning that the individual it describes has lost all self-control and cannot be reasoned with. Can refer to either a chronic or temporary condition.

Well, another week, and we get what feels like another decade’s worth of right wing, bat shit crazy, bloviating, bleating, bellowing bullshit and bluster. And this week was as totally fucking nuts as last week, and the week before that, and the week before that one, ad infinitum …
So, grab some popcorn, a cool beverage or whatever else is getting you through all this shit and get set to crank out some  “oh, fuck yous” and a couple of “what the fuck’s”, followed by at least one “I hate these assholes!!!!!!! please make it stop!!!!!” …

Ladies and gents … may I present …

Mark Gonzales: The Church Must Prepare Candidates To ‘Take Over The State’

Frank Gaffney: The U.S. Should Vet Muslims Like It Used To Vet Nazis And Communists

Sandy Rios: Liberals In Hawaii May Have Orchestrated False Missile Alert

Trump Religious Advisor Robert Jeffress: Nothing Racist About Restricting Immigration by Race

Trump Evangelical Advisor Finds Biblical Justification for “Shithole” Comment

White House: “Trump isn’t racist because he had a TV show”

Tucker Carlson On #MeToo Movement: Men Are ‘Pretty Close To Being Destroyed’

Joe Arpaio Suggests Hawaii False Missile Alert Was Part Of A Conspiracy Involving Obama’s Birth Certificate

EMERGENCY WARNING: Scientific Journals Confirm Plan To Sterilize You

and what has to be this week’s winner …

Remember CIA’s Heart Attack Gun? CNN Predicts Trump Will Die From Heart Attack MSM conditioning public for Trump’s “heart attack”


exxon tiger by hip is everything

What’s On Tonight …


Sister Wives is an American reality television series broadcast on TLC. It documents the life of a polygamist/incestuous family of grifters and charlatans living in Washington D.C., which includes patriarch Bad Touch Donnie Trump, aka the Velveeta Raccoon to his wives along with their not very bright children, and several overly made up women in various degrees of undress.


On ‘SisterWives’

In tonight’s episode, ”A Stormy Night In D.C.”, Donnie brings home his newest sister wife to meet sister wife Ivanka (the dumb, blond one), and sister wife Melania (the mute Michael Jackson impersonator/escort/eastern block mail-order bride) but there’s one small problem: they don’t like her and want to know “who would name their child ‘Stormy’?
Then, Eric and Donnie Jr. go to Africa to kill endangered animals and Melania goes to Russia to ‘check in’ with head office. Will THIS be the week that they meet their new neighbors, the Muellers? Let’s all hope so.

Some violence, nudity, gay penetrative but consensual sex, ‘water sports’, treason and strong language. 18+
Warning: some pretty skeezy shit here, so set those PVR’s kids.

Rated ‘R’ for ridiculous | Ages 5 and up | 1280px-4_stars.svg

That was random …


Some random shit that I’m staring at, wondering why I’m staring at it …
maybe it’s important …
probably not, but, hey why take the chance? … sooo … yer’ welcome …

– If Meryl Steep keeps attacking the President she will eventually become the President. That’s how it went last time. Those are the rules now.

– Jean shorts on men should be called Danny Dukes. Or Daisy Dons. Or maybe just ‘Poor Life Choices.’

Pretend to be an Oscars-style announcer to improve the next wedding you attend: “This is Jenny’s 5th time as a bridesmaid, and her 1st as Maid of Honor. She remains single.”
“and … weighing in at 189 lbs, here to throw down in a gown, to slay with a bouquet …”
(Bride glares at me as she walks down the aisle, seemingly upset I mentioned her weight)

– [my funeral]
Pastor – Next he asked that we set 10 doves free, while reading his top 10 tweets.
Wife – Oh fuck.

– “Oh crap! I lost my wallet horseback riding.”
*suspicious looking horse trots by talking on a new cellphone*

– Just in from the you just can’t make this shit up department: Trump’s hair loss drug was recently linked to irreversible erectile dysfunction and depression.

– You’re not crazy. The married president of the United States had an affair with a porn star when his son was an infant, paid six figures for her silence, and in the final analysis, no one really cares. You’re not crazy.

– Scary marijuana stats:
1. 88,000 deaths are annually attributed to excessive use.
2. Every day, 30 people in the US die in car crashes that involve a marijuana-impaired driver.
3.Teen marijuana use kills 4,700 people each year
4. Lol jk those stats are about alcohol …

– Trump’s the kind of guy who’d push you into a puddle and then high-five his buddy. And by “buddy” I mean “cheeseburger.”

– ME: I mean yeah, sorta, but how often do you even find a good peephole?
HER: I asked if you were a “people” person
ME: Ohhh…definitely not.

– Am I crazy? I’m not even a little bit afraid of Muslims. Get rid of spiders. Spiders are fuckin’ scary. Muslims are pretty chill.

– I hate it when the sun gets in my eyes and I drive off a

– Dibs on the ABBA tribute band name, “ABBA Cadavers”.
It’s magic.

– *clears throat*
Jesus had two dads.

– Cows go moo.
Cats go meow.
Ducks go quack.
Birds go chirp.
The Animals go “There is a house, in New Orleans, they caaaaaaaallll …”
Wife goes “STFU!”

– Do you ever watch Trump speak and wonder why his mouth is so tiny?
Am I the only one who thinks that it strikingly resembles a sphincter?

– *leans in for a kiss*
DENTIST: stop that!

– Impatiently waiting like a bitter, antagonized old spinster, coveting the best scone …

– My sex tape is just me, elbow-deep in a bag of Cheetos.

– Her: I’m really into philosophy.
Me: [trying to impress] I don’t even exist.

It creeps me out when my dog watches my wife and I have sex. We hide the videotapes, but he always finds them while we’re at work.

You should carry a note in your pocket that says ‘If I’ve died it’s because I knew too much.’

I don’t trust kids as far as I can throw them. Currently my record for trusting a kid is 6 feet 11-1/4 inches.

– What an exciting time to be emotionally withdrawn and isolated …

– The saddest part about self driving cars will be all the times people die mid trip and then ur dinner guests or pizza guy will arrive dead.

COP: Do you know why I stopped you?
HIM: We were going too fast?
COP: Yes.  Get to know her first.  Don’t just talk about yourself either.

The enemy of my enemy is Kevin. Fuck that guy.

– Going camping with vegans.
In the event of a survival situation I packed a bib, BBQ sauce and a surgical chest spreader.

– Vegans will be the other white meat for zombies. Just saying.

– That selfie is an interesting blend of insecurity and needless drama.


The Fake News Awards, those going to the most corrupt & biased of the Mainstream Media, will be presented to the losers on Wednesday, January 17th, rather than this coming Monday. The interest in, and importance of, these awards is far greater than anyone could have anticipated!

Awards created by other presidents:
President’s Volunteer Service Award (GW Bush)
Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award (Reagan)
President’s Education Awards Program (Reagan)
President’s Environmental Youth Award (Nixon)
Presidential Medal of Freedom (Kennedy)

What can ya’ say? The man really is a moron.

Old Man Trump

Old Man Trump
Words by Woody Guthrie, Music by Ryan Harvey

I suppose that Old Man Trump knows just how much racial hate
He stirred up in that blood pot of human hearts
When he drawed that color line
Here at his Beach Haven family project
Beach Haven ain’t my home!
No, I just can’t pay this rent!
My money’s down the drain,
And my soul is badly bent!
Beach Haven is Trump’s Tower
Where no black folks come to roam,
No, no, Old Man Trump!
Old Beach Haven ain’t my home!
I’m calling out my welcome to you and your man both
Welcoming you here to Beach Haven
To love in any way you please and to have some kind of a decent place
To have your kids raised up in.
Beach Haven ain’t my home!
No, I just can’t pay this rent!
My money’s down the drain,
And my soul is badly bent!
Beach Haven is Trump’s Tower
Where no black folks come to roam,
No, no, Old Man Trump!
Old Beach Haven ain’t my home!

“tell me what it looks like”

tell me what a shithole look like
is it a place built on the backs of enslaved people was taken from they people
by hate and deranged evil and greed and the need
to feel that we all not the same people where no one is made equal?/
tell me what a shithole look like, where we move heaven and earth
for a couple of men’s net worth while we let our poor live in dirt
where lies are national, and fashionable trumps factual
where we don’t know what just is, justice is laughable?/
tell me what a shithole look like
where you get famous for being famous we worship the mediocre
where bankers is playing poker with people’s futures w futures and leave em homeless
and our leaders save em and leave us broken/
is that what a shithole look like? where we send folks to die for courage and valor
in their mind but for real it be for the purses of power
and we proclaim that we kill to defend the people’s rights
but install dictators just for resources at cheaper price/
what a shithole look like? is it what the hood like?
where you could die any minute because of what you look like?
where children starving all cuz of discrimination
in ghettos created by homeowners loan corporation/
was an agent of the government so, tell me what a shithole look like
is it a place where we exist cuz the unforgivable
and walk around like if you not us we don’t want sit with you
where opinions with truth in em dismissed as hypercritical?/
tell me is a place a shithole,
where we lock and abuse people and cage the soul out em based on a color skin tone
allow folks to make millions off their pain while they sit home
smiling, while babies crying cuz they fathers aint never get home?/
i’m tryna imagine a shithole aesthetic
is it where anyone with an amplified voice is prophetic?
where people who gave their lives for freedom go unknown
but we deify people who make phones?/
tell me, when our president called black countries a shithole
was i mad because that’s racist to say?
and i know its wrong but deep down i be thinking the same?
And i would’ve said it to a neighbor over a brew and a j?/
Like do i know why wrong things are wrong?
do i accept my many privileges, and the role that i play when i play along?
do i want a pat on the back for basic humanity?
would i still be righteous in the face of calamity?/
tell me what makes a shithole? i think i live in one
am i ready for it to change ‘fore i get my livin’ done?
this aint a riddle son these are the simplest questions
if i knew i’s making a shithole would i switch professions?
how we make a shithole on land that was never ours
then puff our chest out with no shame bout how we get the power?
create a monster the surest way to get devoured
homie look around ya. A mu’fuckin shithole

– marlin craft

respect … bless up brother.

Breaking …

This just in …

Trump telling staff that he “doesn’t really understand why Martin Luther King gets a whole day named after him” and that “one day there will be a Donald Trump Day.”

I’m pretty sure it is already celebrated on the morning of April 1st Donnie. Besides, he already has a  whole week designated in his honor. August 1st-7th is National Clown Week.



trump store

trump treason by hip is everything


trump clusterfuck 2018  by hip is everything

Golden Poo Award Winner …

Kevin McCarthy bought a supply of Starbursts and had a staffer sort through the pile, placing only reds and pinks (Trump’s favorites) in a jar. McCarthy made sure his name was on the side of the gift, which was delivered to a grinning Trump, WaPo reports.


Host: and our winner of the Ass Lickers of America Outstanding Performer Golden Poo Award today is …….
@GOPLeader Kevin McCarthy

Kevin: “slurp slurp” 

Host: …..

Kevin: “slurp, slurp”

What’s On Tonight

Here’s looking at what YOU’LL be looking at …

ABC: “Trump is a racist”

NBC: “Trump is a racist”

CBS: ‘Trump is a racist”

CNN: “Trump is a racist”

MSNBC: ‘Trump is a racist”

PBS: “Trump is a vulgar racist of astounding proportions”

Fox News: “HILLARY: The Expose: Uranium One, Child Sex Rings, Collusion With Russia, and Murder, the Clinton Way”

Also on tonight …

On tonight’s episode of TLC’s “Sister Wives” Donnie Bad Touch tells the ladies that he’s bringing home 2 new sister wives, and hilarity ensues. With super special, amazing, fantastic, maybe the most fantastic ever, a lotta people have been sending letters saying that, and more, guest appearances by Kellyanne Conway and the Coultergeist. Also on tonight’s show Donnie hires a new doorman (Scary Huckleberry Slanders) with a penchant for abusive, condescending utterances and a new man servant (Jefferson Beauregard Sessions lll) who quickly becomes Donnie’s new ‘servicer’. Also appearing on the show, Vladdy ‘the shirtless Cossack’ Putin in his usual role as “The Dom” and Paul Ryan as the ever popular Invertebrate Bob, ‘Coward of the County’.
TLC, @ 8:00PM
Some violence, nudity, gay penetrative but consensual sex, ‘water sports’, treason and strong language. 18+