Breaking!

LOC-HIE Ney York   Reports emanating from the Gilded Tower O’ Hate in New York City, which houses the entire, sad and desperate Trump Scampaign headquarters, are now indicating that Ivanka Trump will take on many of the roles usually expected of the First Lady. Still no word on who will handle the duties of President. More news as it becomes available. Watch this space.

Breaking: Trump Picks Leaked!

New York/LOC HIE  Unnamed sources from Trump headquarters in the magnificent, tremendous, ‘ so amazing you wouldn’t believe it’ gilded ‘Tower O Hate’ in New york City have leaked a list supposedly direct from the desk of the Velveeta Raccoon himself. The list, while not confirmed, does seem to be the real deal.

trump picks by hip is everything

 


In what appears to be an unconnected matter, the following note was also leaked – at this time we are still waiting to see what this note was referring to … so far the Trump Trans Team has till not responded to our requests for more info, but then fascists are kinda like that so we’re not holding our breath here.

mitt note by hip is everything

And Now, A PSA From Team Trump

And now, a short public service announcement from the incoming Trump Fiasco Administration, spelling out their plans for America …

gop taking you back by hip is everything

know yer gop1

know yer gop2

know yer gop3

know yer gop4

know yer gop6

know yer gop8

know yer gop9

know yer gop10

know yer gop11

… and of course, they’ll all be led by the Velveeta Raccoon himself.

TIME DBag of the Year by hip is everything

… with a little help from America’s Mayor, Rudy 911!, 911!, 911! Giuliani, seen below, peering out the window of Mr. Trump’s office high atop the Gilded Tower O’ Hate in New York City …giuliani shut out

Trump Spokesperson To Mick Jagger: “… Pussy Libtard!–Any-one Can Have A Baby!”

Today, it was announced that rock legend Mick Jagger has had a child at age 73.
Great, now Trump will be like “hey, that’s nothing. I’m gunna have twins. Great twins. The best twins. No-one will have twins like me. I’m gunna have so many damned sets of twins y’all be sick of twins.”
Trump spokesperson, shill and full time liar Kellyanne Conway, told the press pool gathered in the lobby of Dump Tower that “Mick Jagger is “nothing more than a lame, pussy, libtard! Any-one can have a baby! Mr. Trump will have yuge, amazing, tremendous babies, and lots of them, Trust me. And they’ll all have tremendous, yuge hands, just like the glorious leader”
In a semi-related note Omarosa Manigault was seen running naked through the lobby of Dump Tower screaming “bow down before the glorious leader, and prepare to accept his wrath” at the time of the Conway presser.
It is unknown if Ms. Manigault was sedated at the time, or if this is just her in her normal habitat. Her office did not respond to our request for a statement.
Fox News meanwhile is claiming that the Jagger baby was actually the love child of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, and that the Jaggers, being the liberal jihadists they so obviously are, are only acting as the new baby’s parents to cover for Clinton and Obama. Vids at 11.
Also, in a related story, the Klondike Kardashian herself, Sarah Palin announced that she will be holding a press conference later today in which SHE is expected to lay claim to the above mentioned baby.

Tim Micallef Is Everywhere

Recently a spate, yep, a veritable spate of Tim Micallef photos from the past have been surfacing … here’s just a few …
He’s everywhere man … he’s everywhere! …

high school band the timtles
“Here I am with my good friends George, Ringo and John outside our old studio. We toured Northern Ontario for years as the ‘Timtles’ … Ahh, life on the road.”

mrs robinson i presume
“One of my favorite roles from the early days of my amazing and stellar career “
”Mrs. Robinson I presume?”

apollo 11 crew
“With my old Apollo 11 crew, after arriving safely home on earth”

tim buys lunch for his pals
“At a little surprise dinner that my friends threw for me … Of course, I had to pick up the tab”

rip good friend
“Just jammin’ with my old pal Jimi at Woodstock … Are you experienced?, I am…”

fleetwood micallef
“A lot of peeps don’t know this but I wrote most of the ‘Rumours’ album, and the original name of the band was actually Fleetwood Micallef.”

burning down the house
“My first ‘BUSH PAWTEE’ Oh what a day it was! … I remember it like it was yesterday …”

tim is a born leader
“It took days, but we finally took that freaking hill”

 

Next week … Sidney Seixeiro, The Early Years …

sid zeppelin
Sidney’s high school garage band – Sid Zeppelin, a Toronto cabaret fave for many years. Regulars at the Macombo, and Funland Arcade at Yonge & Dundas. Sid eventually had to leave the band because “they were just too frign loud brah, plus that singer dude was gettin’ all the girls, so who needs that eh? Besides they were goin’ nowhere, so time to go baby”

Giuliani Out!

giuliani shut out
Rudy 911! 911! 911! Giuliani seen here trying to get Mr. Trump’s attention … sad.

New York / LOC-HIE  Ex New York mayor and full time douche-bag, Rudy 911! 911! 911! Giuliani appears to be headed for the dustbin of ignominy sooner than expected as rumors are now swirling around Trump Tower that he will not be chosen as a member of Petulant Erect Donnie ‘Bad Touch’ Trump’s pretend administration. As one ‘transition team insider’ put it, “He pretty much only got coffee for everyone anyways, and now the office has that new Keurig, he’s become little more than a really annoying, whiny little redundancy around here”
Mr. Giuliani was unavailable for comment.

BREAKING: Eric Trump NOT the Dongald’s Child

breaking-news-620

New York/LOC HIE This just in …
Conclusive evidence has just surfaced that substantiates a long rumored Trump child paternity scandal. Gary Busey IS Eric Trump’s biological father. Long time Velveeta Raccoon pal Gary ‘Huh, whaa??’ Busey could not be reached for comment, however, as they say, every picture is worth a thousand words, and here’s two of ‘em for y’all. A picture never lies. One would assume paternity tests are on the way.

Gary_Busey

eric t  gary buseys love child

No wonder the Dongald fired him on season 11.
Oh baby, Ivana’s got some serious ‘splainin’ to do.

No Chinning

NOTICE:
Petulant Elect Donnie ‘Bad Touch’ Trumpolini, AKA the Velvet Raccoon, is demanding that “certain networks” stop using “certain unflattering pictures” of him because they apparently “give the false impression that Mr. Trump” has double chins. Fair enough, he is the Petulant Elect. So, if you should see any one posting pictures like the one below, please ask them to kindly refrain from doing so. And for <insert deity of yer’ choice here>’s sakes do NOT share this picture. It is ONLY being used here as an example of what NOT to share.
Thank you.
Management

chinning time by hip is everything

#catsincincinnati

So we’re only hours away from what many people, many, many great people in fact, are calling the most anticipated event in KKK history, the Trump Victory Merchandisealooza/Hate-spew/Ego Stroking Tour 2016. Hats will be sold, lies will be told and the con will continue. And cats all over Cincinnati are hurriedly preparing for the Pussy-Grabber in Chief’s imminent arrival.   #catsincincinnati

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BREAKING: Trump Proposes New Voting Restrictions

In a nod to a previous time, voters of color will have to guess the number of chins on the new prez-elect to earn the right to vote in any future elections! There apparently will also be a 4 page math exam and potential voters must be able to guess correctly the amount of taxes that the President Elect has paid,and to which country … “This should take care of that whole coloreds voting scam once and for all” as Mr. Trump and his newest sycophant sidekick Jefferson ‘Little Ball O’ Hate’ Sessions explained to the press today.

New Product Alert!! Velveeta Raccoon Productions Announces: Hats 4 Everyone!

New York/LOC HIE  With the start of President elect Donald Trump’s ‘Victory and Hate Tour 2016’ set to kick off this Thursday, the grifter in chief has announced new hats that will be available both online at the official .gov site and at all his events across America.
The previous red ‘MAGA’ hat was so popular with his idiot followers that the Dongald decided to “double dip the rubes” as he put it and released pics of the new hats which will go on sale Thursday.

First up is the “Presidential”*** which retails for $275.00 (USD)… (gold plated version also available for $666.00 (USD) – Cash only, no cheques, debit or credit cards please.)

i_have_no_idea_what_im_doing_baseball_baseball_cap 

Also available is the new “Pence Sidekick”*** which will retail for only $199.00 (USD)
Cash only, no cheques, debit or credit cards please.

im_with_stupid_hat-r97dc78af1a794dc1a616ab37f04a9f3f_v9wfy_8byvr_324

Even Rudy ‘the Rat’ Giu911iani is getting in on the fun (and profits) with his new “911!, 911!, fucking 911!!” model”***, which will retail for $9.11 (USD), a bargain the whole family can afford (even your first cousin-wife). Cash only, no cheques, debit or credit cards please.

im_a_twat_of_the_highest_orderpng_baseball_baseball_cap

 

***Made in China