The president sets the record straight …

Some of my favorite photos … for all the haters and FAKE NEWS who said I wasn’t a tremendous first responder on 911 … and I AM NOT A PUSSY ASSED BITCH either!!!

First up … PROOF!!!
TERRORIST ATTACKS
I WAS THEIR! … So MAGA that motherfuckers!

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Me looking for survivors on 911, I personally pulled thousands of people from the rubble. A lotta people didn’t know that before, because I’m just not the type to brag.

me neil buzz and that other guy one small step for the donald
Me, Neil, Buzz and some other guy  …
I call this one
“ONE SMALL STEP FOR THE DONALD!”


i actually introduced thes two crazy kids
Ahh, Woodstock – I actually introduced these two crazy kids after doing a 2 hour set with some really average black guitarist name Jim Hendricks (or something like that) … a real pretender, he was no Ted Nugent if ya’ know what I mean … I’d rather have some guys wearing yarmulkes playing guitar for me. Trust me.


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Here I am in Dallas on that fateful day when Ted Cruz’ father shot President Kennedy, trying my best to get to the First lady to grab her pus comfort her in her moment of need. I was on her like a bitch. She told me that day that I would be president some day. She wasn’t my type.

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A lotta people also didn’t know that I was the original drummer in the Beatles, but I left because of Yoko. She wasn’t born in America, I think she might have been from Kenya, but I’m not sure. I have people looking into it and you wouldn’t believe what they are finding. I’ll be releasing that bigly bad information, or info as it’s also called, very soon.

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Here I am in Berlin when the wall came down I’m the one who actually kicked down the wall, as you can clearly see here. Kicking down that wall was what probably caused my bone spurs in the first place.

iwo jima
Here I am hoisting the flag on Iwo Jima with some pals of mine, Nobody’s kneeling here. Well, a couple of guys are kinda kneeling, but mostly sitting.

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And here I am leading my squad in ‘Nam! Even with my bone spurs I almost won a purple heart AND several dozen medals of honor. And I NEVER got captured like some loser who voted against me robbing America of it’s health care.


doin donnie
This
is Lindsey Graham and I. Obama never got blow jobs like that from Lindsey, and … oh wait! …WTF??!!?? …This picture shouldn’t be here! Why is this picture here? No-one is supposed to ever see this picture!!! … Ivanka!!!! Fire someone!!!!! Now!!! … and get Sean on the phone, I’m scared! … where’s Sean? I need Sean!!!  Hannnnnittttyyyyy! … I’m so fucked! This is the end of my presidency!!! … Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!!! … Obama and his pals, and that Bezos guy musta tapped my lines and faked this picture!
Fuckin’ Soros!!!!!!!!

“Simply the Best” the Gospel according to Don

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Yeah, we know all about your so-called “executive time” …

Executive Time by hip is everything 2019 avec

and we all know (because you never stop telling us) just how hard you really work …

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and we all know all about your tremendous record on dealing with our adversaries …

3 men and a baby

you’re the “toughest ever on Russia” …
no-one drops the hammer on Putin like you …

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or Kim … man, you got that guy on the run huh? …

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and your record on disaster relief is, well, one of a kind …

DISASTER RELIEF PLAN

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I mean, no-one does disaster relief like the ‘Towelinator’ ,,,

HURRICANE RELIEF

your work with Cali on the fires was Donnie Badtouch at his finest … bravo sir! …

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not to mention the lessons in forest management you walked the country through …

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and, as you are so fond of reminding us all daily, no president has your temperament when the going gets tough … we mortals have no idea how you do it …
I guess that’s a job that’s just best left to “the Chosen One”

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your patience and sure hand guides us all daily …

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then, maybe most comforting of all, there’s your hiring of all “the best people” …
what could possibly go wrong?

these assholes by hip is everything 2019

and who could forget your amazing record on the economy …

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but we all know “you got this!” so hang in there komrade!

mother russia

‘cos’ you da’ man!

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#WINNING

Oh sure, now it wants to talk …

BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING …

Sarah Huckabee Sanders  to Pretend She Wrote A Book

miss information

Excerpt:
Sarah Elizabeth Huckabee Sanders, aka Shrek Slanders, the Incredible Huck, Miss information, Women’s Fibber, Blunder Woman and Stephen Miller’s Groupie is an American campaign manager and political adviser who served until recently as the Whitest House Press Secretary for Donald Scump, illegitimate president of the United States, abject coward and total moron. Sarah comes by her talents as a total fucking shill for Scump naturally as she comes from a long line of alleged animal abusers and renowned and shameless liars and hypocrites. She is quite simply a lying fucking propagandist and gas-lighter with no respect for the truth, no sense of shame, and no redeemable qualities whatsoever as a human being, making her a perfect fit in the ‘Scump Enduring Clusterfuckapalooza.’ With qualities like this is it any wonder that she became a loyal and fully sycophantic worshipper of the Glorious Leader, Sum Dim Phuc, King of the MAGAts.
Sarah likes to make her own clothing from remnants and scraps she collects in the back alleys throughout D.C. and had become famous for them at her rare and lie-filled press-conference performances.

Who Wore It Best?

who wore it best

THIS WEEK’S PAIRING IS A SISTER WIVES KINDA DEAL …

SORTA …

IN A REALLY CREEPY ‘TRUMPY’ KINDA WAY.

Ivanka



CORRECTION: In the above picture I mistakenly identified the critter on the right as Worst Lady Melamine Scump when, in fact, it is legendary Canadian soft pop vocalist Celine Dion, who also attended the event. My bad.

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The correct picture, that of the Worst Lady, that should have been used.
Again, my deepest apologies to everyone concerned.



Whiter House Announcement …

BREAKING … In a moment of chaos and ignorance eerily similar to the rather embarassing Bush era ‘Freedom Fries fiasco’, the Trump Whiter House today announced that from now on all Cheese Danish will be known as ‘Cheesy American’ in honor of the ‘Chosen One’ with the custardy filling to be replaced by New Trump Brand ‘Velveeta Raccoon Squeezy Skeezy Cheese™’
Trump Org./Whiter House spokesthing and lead hate gargoyle Stephen ‘white power is the right power’ Miller repeatedly threatened the assembled media and then stated that “Everyone will soon see that the president has supreme power over all things cheese and that no-one, not the media, not the libtards, not ANYONE will question the authority of the Chosen One to squirt his skeezy-cheese™ anywhere he chooses, and he intends to squirt his god sanctioned, and trade marked, ‘Velveeta Raccoon Squeezy Skeezy Cheese™’ everywhere!”

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Resident Scump, the Chosen One, seen here at the signing of his most recent executive order.

NOTE: By order of the Chosen One™  only Trump brand ‘Velveeta Raccoon Squeezy Skeezy Cheese™’ will be eaten or spoken of within the realm of the Glorious Leader Sum Dim Phuc. (all despots need a cool Supreme Leader moniker, right?)

and, of course, now all you QBotz and MAGAt KKKids can enjoy Trump brand ‘Velveeta Raccoon Squeezy Skeezy Cheese™’ at home.
Trump Brand Squeezy Skeezy Cheese

First Look … Trump rally …

The pics are in for our first look at last night’s MAGA/KKK rally in New Hampshire …

As usual, the place was packed …Cjbs3v7UUAA-n5-

and all the resident’s biggest fans were there …
the forgotten ‘real’ Americans that resident Scump often lies abou refers to.trump rally

Trump even brought along several members of the GOP leadership to share in the glory of this evening …trump cabinet

even long time Trump sycophant and fluffer Rudy 911iani was “on hand” …000trump 666

as always the glorious leader Sum Dim Phuc regaled the crowds with his tales of glory…
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and as usual, his fans ate it up …
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All in all, pretty much the same old lie filled, racist, petty bragfest and self aggrandizement spewage and oozing performance art that we’ve all come to expect from the gang down at Dumbford and Sons. Just another night in Hateville.


0/10
Poor staging, low energy audience and the host seemed unbelievable. The same tired, factually bereft poutrage and insecurity as always. It’s way past time for ‘Shecky’ to come up with a new routine. Would not recommend.
Louise (Kentucky)


See ya’ at the next Clusterfuckapalooza!

Fat Donnie Bad Touch - "Putting the POS in POTUS Daily!"

Give me your young, your rich, your huddled Euro-trash escorts …

The Trump/Putin administration announced early this morning that the resident, D. J. Scump had ordered the plaque on the base of the Statue of Liberty on Ellis Island, N.Y changed immediately to better reflect “the kinda people we really want here”.

The new plaque is to read:

Give me your young, your rich, Your huddled Euro-trash escorts yearning to vape free, The entitled trust fund babies of your most expensive resort shores. Send these, the homeowners, the kidney-enhanced, the whitest, to me, I lift my gilded lamp beside the giant golden hair!

Stephen Miller, whiter house Immigration Removal and Extermination Czar, told the assembled press that “The stature will also undergo some minor cosmetic ‘enhancements’ to better reflect the glorious leader’s tremendously NON-racist world view.”

Donald J Trump, traitor and giant fuckin' moron ... oh yeah, and a serial sexual rapist and life long racist, so, there's that ...
The “new look’ gilded Statue of Trumperty as it will henceforth be known.

BIGLY Announcement!

— NOW OPEN —

DUMBFORD AND SONS

OUR NEW D.C. LOCATION

Our newest location: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington, D.C
All the grift and skeezy, low-life behaviour you’ve come to know over the past 4 decades with two scoops O’ stupid and a twist of treason tossed in for good measure!

Same great scams!

Same great lies!

COME ON DOWN!

ОТКРЫТИЕ В БЛИЖАЙШЕЕ ВРЕМЯ!!!!

Наше новое местоположение: 1600 Пенсильвания авеню, Вашингтон, округ Колумбия Все бесцеремонное и скупое поведение с низким уровнем жизни, которое вы узнали за последние 4 десятилетия, с двумя дурацкими ложками О и дурным тоном измены!
Это же отличные мошенничества!
Это же великая ложь!

Donald Trump "PUTTING THE POS IN POTUS - DAILY!"

MAKE AMERICA GROPE AGAIN!

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The more things change …

“Terrible things are happening outside. At any time of night and day, poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes.” “Families are torn apart; men, women and children are separated.”

– Anne Frank – January 13th 1943


He was a fattish but active man of paralyzing stupidity, a mass of imbecile enthusiasms–one of those completely unquestioning, devoted drudges on whom, more even than on the thought police, the stability of the Party depended.”

– George Orwell


“Now I will tell you the answer to my question. It is this. The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power, pure power. What pure power means you will understand presently. We are different from the oligarchies of the past in that we know what we are doing. All the others, even those who resembled ourselves, were cowards and hypocrites. The German Nazis and the Russian Communists came very close to us in their methods, but they never had the courage to recognize their own motives. They pretended, perhaps they even believed, that they had seized power unwillingly and for a limited time, and that just around the corner there lay a paradise where human beings would be free and equal. We are not like that. We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Power is not a means; it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now you begin to understand me.”

–  George Orwell


“He wasn’t a complete human being at all. He was a tiny bit of one, unnaturally developed; something in a bottle, an organ kept alive in a laboratory. I thought he was a sort of primitive savage, but he was something absolutely modern and up-to-date that only this ghastly age could produce. A tiny bit of a man pretending he was the whole.”

– Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited