It’s time to get the Huck outta here …

Shrek Slanders, allegedly seen here at the press conference” she was once rumored to have hosted. Scientists have still found NO EVIDENCE that these mythical events ever took place.

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Oh Sarah, what will we do without you?
Who will we turn to when we need to have the president’s lies and word salads reinforced?
Who will look America in the eye and say ”I never said what I just said, that fire isn’t real.” with such conviction and still maintain such utter and total disdain for her audience?
Even though you’ve been nothing short of a lying, scheming, duplicitous and traitorous skank, I have to say …

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

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Shrek, seen here doing what it does best – lying.

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I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

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I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

I mean yer’ no Spicey, or Mooch for that matter, but, for a Huckabee, you were, well, there …

“American Caustic” – artist unknown

“The Huck” by Picasso

Sarah, seen here in her Whiter House employee ID photo.

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but mostly Sarah, were gunna miss the sparkling repartee you had with the press …

so, I know I speak for the vast majority of Americans, nay, the entire planet’s citizenry when i say “Good riddance you lying trollop. Fuck you and the whores you rode in on! … SHOO!!”
(nope, that was not a spelling error, I meant to give a little shout out to yer’ pappy too)

p.s.. I guess now that Sarah is leaving and taking her family with her the Whiter House can finally safely have a dog …
(before you even start to write that email complaining about the comment, not a word from any of you, google it, I just report this shit, I don’t make it up … you can’t …)

p.p.s. my deepest and humblest apologies to Sarah Mclachlin …

New Trump Spokesman, Sum Dim Phuc, To Handle Future Pressers

Resident Rump, seen here explaining how amazing he is, and “Oh, by the way, there’s like a buncha brown people in trouble on some island or something … anyways, my ride is here, it’s Friday and you guys know how hard it is to get a great tee time!”

Washington: This morning the Glorious Leader, Sum Dim Phuc, announced that from now on he would be conducting his own daily press briefings. Scary Huckleberry Slanders, who has handled the daily lies, over the top exaggerations and overt racial dog whistles since the departure of Sean Sphincter will be reassigned to the ‘Sycophant Squad’ a new group headed up by Kellyanne Cons Way, whose sole purpose will be to hit all the TV shows and “Glorify the Exalted One as well as polish his daily hourly turds.” Huckleberry Slanders will be in charge of all lies and propaganda having to do with the Emperor’s new clothes and his ‘renowned sexual prowess and stamina.’ As well, she will be tasked with spray painting the Resident every day before he leaves his ward room in his now famous, and very distinctive, Cheetoh orange, thereby relieving V.P. Mike ‘White Bred’ Pence of a job that he truly seemed to enjoy, but had problems with due to his relationship with his wife/mother.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Trump Suggests He Could Handle Press Briefings Instead Of Sean Spicer

The president raised the idea of ending daily briefings by his press secretary and holding a press conference himself every two weeks.
President Donald Trump on Friday floated an alternative to his press secretary’s traditional daily press briefings: Himself.
During an interview with Fox News host Jeanine Pirro, to air on Saturday, Trump suggested he moves too quickly for his communications staff. One solution, he said, is “we don’t have press conferences.”
“You don’t mean that,” Pirro responded.
“Well, just don’t have them,” Trump said. “Unless I have them every two weeks and I do them myself, we don’t have them. I think it’s a good idea.”

Oh please, please, please … c’mon … you can do it!
Pretty Pleeeease …..

The Well Oiled Machine – Day 60

Baghdad Sean Sphincter denying everything at today’s presser, “It’s ALL Obama’s fault.”

On Monday afternoon, during a break in what turned out to be several hours of incredibly damning evidence/statements made by FBI Director James Comey regarding a plethora of Trump campaign and administration lies and criminality, Baghdad Sean Sphincter demanded people stop trying to find evidence of collusion between the Russian government and the Trump campaign. “Just stop it, all of you, NOW! It’s all just FAKE NEWS!!” ”Just because there’s an investigation doesn’t mean that they are looking at anything, and investigating it and having proof of it are two different things, and you can’t prove anything! So there!” Spicer said.
The much beleaguered press secretary and ‘Chief Prevaricator to the Petulant’ then screamed at the press for 48 straight minutes before collapsing to the floor in the fetal position, heaving and sobbing behind his podium. It was at this point that fellow liar and Bad Touch Donnie sycophant Kellyanne Conway ran into the room and began kicking and pummeling Sphincter, screaming “Stay down bitch! The job’s mine now. Who’s yer’ daddy you feckless bitch boy? Who’s yer’ fucking daddy now?” before leaping up to say “Anyone have any fucking microwave questions now? Huh? Anyone? Huh?”

When asked for a comment on the press room spectacle clusterfu  shit show incident, and who is really running the show in the press room Petulant Rump responded by tweeting the following …

The Petulant was last seen “working on serious stuff” in the Oval Office, and was “unavailable for comment at the present time.”