Fuckface McCTraitorson, leader of the Grand Old Chucklefucks party, to give presser claiming TOTAL innocence and vindication, after losing all his money & assets due to his own criminality, stupidity and hubris.
#TraitorTrump #GuiltyAF #GrifterTrump #TraitorsSupportTraitorTrump
This is the asshole ya’ want running the place?
Seriously America?
From the bigoted, homophobic, treasonous douchenozzle that brought ya’ “men are disposable”, “collusion is not a crime”, “truth isn’t truth”, “Welcome everyone, to the Four Seasons” and “Jewish men have small cocks”, now we get the inside scoop on what makes Rudy “America’s Nightmayor” in a story so predictable, so dumb and so larcenous that it could only be about Scump sycophant Rudy “the shirt tucker” Giuliani …
Some violence, nudity, gay penetrative but consensual sex, ‘water sports’, treason, doucherocketry, racism and strong language.
65+ Farce/Tragedy/Horror/SciFi/Adult
Warning: some pretty skeezy shit here, so set those PVR’s kids.
Rated ‘R’ for ridiculous | Ages 65 and up | 
It’s been a hella shit week for the soon to be late Russian asset(stay away from Russians, tea and windows Donnie) …
and it just seems to get worse by the minute.
The crowds are thinning somewhat at the latest “Hatefest in a Field”® Nazi get togethers, and while the campaign(?) maintains that “the crowds are in the tens of thousands with long lines of thousands more just outside, unable to get in”, the reality is that you’ll get more people for a Junior C hockey game, on a Wednesday night, when it’s –43 C, in North Buttfuck, Alberta, with the local lads taking on the local volunteer fire department, than the Velveeta Raccoon has seen at any of his pestilence promenades in months.
And, you can hear it in that lil’ bitch, whiny, sing-songy, condescending, “I’m a giant fucking asshole, and proud of it!” voice he does when he slips into his Shecky Scump routine, during his 2 hour plus victimhood diatribes and anthems of impotence tour.
Ever since they made public (ONLY because he’s an insecure, attention whoring dimwit who can’t shut his fucking mouth) that he STOLE Top Secret dox and stuff and was keeping them in Melania’s panty drawer and some other dank, dark box, he’s been even more creepily twitchy and lie-ey than usual. He’s become a walking, talking (okay, mostly whining) poster boy for the old “You scared, bro? You seem scared” meme.
Ex-White House squatter, Komrade McLiarson, seen here at his latest ‘Rally’
lie-bragging and whining like the little bitch he is. (hover pic for descriptions/credits)
The week also saw the introduction of the newest line from the Trump Store with the sneak peak/tease of his new line of Depend Undergarments for Really Big Hombres (over 239 LBs). Big boy showed off the new Trump approved line of men’s nasty wear, and brought the full load (he always was a show off) to his latest liefestbullshitacusapalooza on whatever obscure TV channel(?) he’s being shown on these days.
.
The diaper wasn’t the only thing he floated during the interview as he repeatedly hinted that he may run again in 2024.
and because Putin has the tapes …
Oh=, and let’s not forget the whole State Secret Salesman of the Year, winner for 2022,
and potentially 5 years running (AG Merrick Garland is reviewing the ‘ratings’ as we speak) .
And, of course, the week ended as it always does …
with the Grift O’ the Day .
GIT YER’ TICKITS NOW GUYS! … PLEASE?
Hey QBots, MAGAts, Proud Boiz, losers of all kinds!
Even Shrek Slanders says ya’ gotta go get a vaccine shot.
(I know, she’s only saying it to avoid lawsuits and try to keep her hopes alive in her run for Gov., but hey, Shrek is a critter of few words so …when Shrek says “jump” you aholes say “how high?” K?
Now … go get fucking jabbed, so the rest of us can get on with our lives and not have to spend all our time burying you morons. And if ya’ won’t do it for your own dumb ass, do it for your mom/sister/cousin!
Every day,the twice impeached, twice beaten like a stolen drum, compulsive liar and full time government assistance leech wanders down to his mailbox, eagerly anticipating his reinstatement to his old job …
and everyday, the box is empty, like his soul.
He still didn’t realize that he was never going back to his old job …
and that soon, prison would soon be his only destiny.
The former guy, still sporting his “Participant” ribbon from the 2020 election., checks his mail
Trump supporters at the scene of his latest “success”
Yeah, we know all about your so-called “executive time” …
and we all know (because you never stop telling us) just how hard you really work …
and we all know all about your tremendous record on dealing with our adversaries …
you’re the “toughest ever on Russia” …
no-one drops the hammer on Putin like you …
or Kim … man, you got that guy on the run huh? …
and your record on disaster relief is, well, one of a kind …
I mean, no-one does disaster relief like the ‘Towelinator’ ,,,
your work with Cali on the fires was Donnie Badtouch at his finest … bravo sir! …
not to mention the lessons in forest management you walked the country through …
and, as you are so fond of reminding us all daily, no president has your temperament when the going gets tough … we mortals have no idea how you do it …
I guess that’s a job that’s just best left to “the Chosen One”
your patience and sure hand guides us all daily …
then, maybe most comforting of all, there’s your hiring of all “the best people” …
what could possibly go wrong?
and who could forget your amazing record on the economy …
but we all know “you got this!” so hang in there komrade!
‘cos’ you da’ man!
The pics are in for our first look at last night’s MAGA/KKK rally in New Hampshire …
As usual, the place was packed …
and all the resident’s biggest fans were there …
the forgotten ‘real’ Americans that resident Scump often lies abou refers to.
Trump even brought along several members of the GOP leadership to share in the glory of this evening …
even long time Trump sycophant and fluffer Rudy 911iani was “on hand” …
as always the glorious leader Sum Dim Phuc regaled the crowds with his tales of glory…
and as usual, his fans ate it up …
All in all, pretty much the same old lie filled, racist, petty bragfest and self aggrandizement spewage and oozing performance art that we’ve all come to expect from the gang down at Dumbford and Sons. Just another night in Hateville.
0/10
Poor staging, low energy audience and the host seemed unbelievable. The same tired, factually bereft poutrage and insecurity as always. It’s way past time for ‘Shecky’ to come up with a new routine. Would not recommend.
Louise (Kentucky)
See ya’ at the next Clusterfuckapalooza!
Shrek Slanders, allegedly seen here at the press conference” she was once rumored to have hosted. Scientists have still found NO EVIDENCE that these mythical events ever took place.
Oh Sarah, what will we do without you?
Who will we turn to when we need to have the president’s lies and word salads reinforced?
Who will look America in the eye and say ”I never said what I just said, that fire isn’t real.” with such conviction and still maintain such utter and total disdain for her audience?
Even though you’ve been nothing short of a lying, scheming, duplicitous and traitorous skank, I have to say …
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
Shrek, seen here doing what it does best – lying.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories
I mean yer’ no Spicey, or Mooch for that matter, but, for a Huckabee, you were, well, there …
“American Caustic” – artist unknown
“The Huck” by Picasso
Sarah, seen here in her Whiter House employee ID photo.
but mostly Sarah, were gunna miss the sparkling repartee you had with the press …
so, I know I speak for the vast majority of Americans, nay, the entire planet’s citizenry when i say “Good riddance you lying trollop. Fuck you and the whores you rode in on! … SHOO!!”
(nope, that was not a spelling error, I meant to give a little shout out to yer’ pappy too)
p.s.. I guess now that Sarah is leaving and taking her family with her the Whiter House can finally safely have a dog …
(before you even start to write that email complaining about the comment, not a word from any of you, google it, I just report this shit, I don’t make it up … you can’t …)
p.p.s. my deepest and humblest apologies to Sarah Mclachlin …
The motion picture that every MAGAt in ‘Murica has bin’ a waitin’ fer …
Featuring the hit single from the original motion picture soundtrack …
LINDSEY GRAHAM and DEVIN NUNES with their stunning new duet:
“Slurp, Slurp, Swallow, Thank You Mr. President, May We Have More Please?”
© 2019 Doucherocket Records, in conjunction with Putin Inc.
Any of you who have followed my blogs over the last 15 years know that John McCain was a guy who I rarely agreed with on anything. We came from and inhabited completely different political universes, and I actively campaigned against him in 2008. And, to be honest, there’s been more than a fair share of snark and anger aimed from this vantage point at the man over the years. But, and I emphasize this, he was always a man who would stop and listen to the other side, and he was ALWAYS a man who stood for and with his country. I respect that, and his service to his nation is so far beyond anything that the current commander in chief can comprehend, never mind aspire to, that I have no adequate words to describe the gulf between them. So, to hear the following words come from the mouth of an admitted sexual assaulter; a man who has told more lies than some of us have taken breaths; a man who sold out his country for personal profit; a man with absolutely NO understanding of, or wish to understand, empathy; a man who refused to serve his country on 5 occasions; a coward, is just too much to take.
No matter how much or little you agree with John McCain and his political stances, he was and is an American hero. Period. And that is an honor and a title that Donald Trump cannot stain or corrupt no matter what he does or says.
I think that the following may be the worst moment in presidential history … by the worst human to ever hold the job …
Donald J. Trump, putting the POS into POTUS, daily.
#Coward
THE PRESIDENT:
A lot of people are asking, because they love me, and they ask me about a man named John McCain. And if you want, I could tell you about — should I or not? Yes? Yes?So, I have to be honest: I’ve never liked him much. Hasn’t been for me. I’ve really — probably never will. But there are certain reasons for it, and I’ll tell you. And I do this to save a little time with the press later on. John McCain received a fake and phony dossier. Did you hear about the dossier? It was paid for by Crooked Hillary Clinton. Right?
And John McCain got it. He got it. And what did he do? He didn’t call me. He turned it over to the FBI, hoping to put me in jeopardy. And that’s not the nicest thing to do. You know, when those people say — because I’m a very loyal person.
John McCain campaigned for years to repeal and replace Obamacare — for years, in Arizona. A great state. I love the people of Arizona. But he campaigned, for years, for “repeal and replace.” So did Rob and so did a lot of senators.
When he finally had the chance to do it, he voted against “repeal and replace.” He voted against, at 2 o’clock in the morning. Remember “thumbs down”? We said, “What the hell happened?” He said, two hours before, he was voting to repeal and replace. And then he went thumbs down, badly hurting the Republican Party, badly hurting our nation, and hurting many sick people who desperately wanted good, affordable healthcare. We would’ve had it.
This would’ve saved our country over a trillion dollars in entitlements, and we would have ended up making a great healthcare plan, frankly, with the Democrats because they would have had no choice.
McCain didn’t get the job done for our great vets and the VA, and they knew it. That’s why, when I had my dispute with him, I had such incredible support from the vets and from the military. The vets were on my side because I got the job done. I got Choice and I got Accountability. Accountability — meaning, if somebody mistreats our vets — for 45 years they were trying — they mistreat our vets, and we say, “Hey, you’re fired. Get out.” You can’t mistreat our vets. They never got it done. (Applause.)
And Choice — for year and years, decades, they wanted to get Choice. You know what Choice is. You’re a military person. You’re one of our great people. To me, one of the great people. For many decades, they couldn’t get it done. It was never done. I got it five months ago. I got it done — Choice. Instead of waiting in line — a vet fought for us, fought in these tanks; fought for us.
Instead of waiting in line for two days, two weeks, two months — people on line, they’re not very sick. By the time they see a doctor, they’re terminally ill. We gave them Choice. If you have to wait for any extended period of time, you go outside, you go to a local doctor. We pay the bill; you get yourself better. Go home to your family. And we got it passed. We got it done.
And the other thing is we’re in a war in the Middle East that McCain pushed so hard. He was calling Bush — President Bush — all the time: “Get into the Middle East. Get into the Middle East.”
So now we’re into that war for $7 trillion. Thousands and thousands of our people have been killed, millions of people overall. And frankly, we’re straightening it out now, but it’s been a disaster for our country. We’ve spent tremendous wealth — tremendous wealth — and tremendous lives in that war.
And what do we have? It’s worse than it was 19 years ago. I call them the “endless wars.” Nineteen years ago, when we started.
So, John McCain loved it. I endorsed him at his request, and I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted — which, as President, I had to approve. I don’t care about this. I didn’t get “thank you.” That’s okay. We sent him on the way. But I wasn’t a fan of John McCain.
So now, what we could say is: Now we’re all set. I don’t think I have to answer that question, but the press keeps, “What do you think of McCain? What do you think?” Not my kind of guy. But some people like him, and I think that’s great.
Donald ‘Studmuffin’ Trump’s “doctor” just announced that he gained 4 LBS in the last year and is now coming in at a willowy and uber fit 6’3″ and 243 LBS …
The ever svelte and lithe Velveeta Raccoon, seen here destroying a fairway.
IN RELATED NEWS …
BREAKING:
Donald Trump is two inches taller than Justin Trudeau, says White House doctor.
President Trump (4th from left) seen here towering over Canada’s Trudeau (5th from left)
And Colin Kaepernick is 6’4″ and 238 LBS in this pic …
so yeah, the Trump claim seems legit huh?
Maybe the prez and his doctor(?) were misquoted????
Sure, that’s it.
In our latest “Know Yer’ GOP Shyster” series, we have Mittens RMoney …
Here we go again my fellow Soros funded, socialist takers and 47 percenters!
Everyone’s favorite master of mendacity, that out of touch Mormon mofo himself, is back with a seat in the Senate now … let the weather vane that is Mittens spin! …
Mittens ‘My friends call me Willard’ RMoney
the man who made Paul Ryan what he is today – an over-rated, failed Speaker of the House
In his latest grift … MITTENS For Senate – 2018!
So in case any of you kids have forgotten what an out of touch, self-centered, ideology free (they don’t call him King O’ Weathervanes for nothing people), clueless, self-serving, prevaricating prick old Mittens really is, let me take a moment to remind y’all …
This week our man from Kolob has decided that he’s suddenly very against Dreamers and that they all need to go … Oooo, Mittens the tough guy … maybe they’ll self-deport.
Stay tuned for next week’s ‘deep felt conviction and ideology’. (spin that wheel)
He’s basically Donald Trump with better hair and magic undies!
And probs a whole bunch less skeezers, wannabe mobsters and dirtbags hangin’ ‘round.
(well, better dressed, more soft spoken skeezers anyways, and that would be a nice break these days huh?)
and be sure to catch the Mittens biography this weekend on Fox …
and starting this fall, his new reality show …
Note the oh so sophisticated, super cool spy-like use of invisible ink …
This must be super duper, tremendously important stuff. In fact, many people are saying that they’ve never seen anything so important. Ever. They are saying that there’s never, ever been anything even close to being this important in history. Not even The Art of the Deal, and that was BIGLY! NO COLLUSION!.
looks legit to me …
‘yep.
Trump kicked off the rally last night in Mississippi by comparing himself to Elvis Presley, Tupelo’s most beloved hometown son:
“I shouldn’t say this, you’ll say I’m very conceited, because I’m not, but other than the blond hair when I was growing up they said I looked like Elvis. You see that? I always considered that a great compliment.”
yeah, I can see it …
NOTE: this is NOT from the Onion … man, I’m getting really tired of saying that …
Sarah ‘Shrek’ Slanders, seen here watching her life go down the toilet before today’s presser.
Choices girl, choices.
* Also: WTF are those gear thingys on Shrek’s shoulders? Inquiring minds wanna know.
Oh nooooees! Shrek is a skeered!
Sarah Sanders Is ‘Extremely Concerned’ For Being ‘Complicit’ In Covering Up Cohen Lies
Following Donald Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen’s confession on Tuesday of campaign finance violations, tax and bank fraud, some people in the president’s inner circle should be highly concerned, according to CNN contributor Symone Sanders.
Sanders pointed out at one person in particular, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who has taken part in keeping Trump’s lies about Cohen.
“It wasn’t just President Trump that lied about this. The entire orbit of the White House was involved in this intricate lie,” CNN’s Sanders said.
“So if I’m the press secretary, I’m extremely concerned about all of the lies that I’ve been complicit in telling,” she noted.
“I have never even heard of this Donald J. Trump Foundation. And I’ve certainly never heard of this Donald Trump person either. He’s probably someone Crooked Hillary made up as an excuse for losing the election she should have won, even though that ni… friend of hers … had my phones tapped … trying to bring me down. And the press never looked into that. See, this is why I don’t trust the fake news media like yourself Leslie, if that is even your real name. Never heard of him, he never worked for me or my campaign, and NO COLLUSIN! None. None at all, and everybody knows it. Believe me. And, Leslie, check out these big beautiful hands. Many people are saying that they are almost too big. Many, many people are saying that. Trust me. Even Kim Jong …OOON! mentioned it. He said they were so big, so very, very big. That they might even be the biggest hands he had ever seen. He said that very strongly. Very, very strongly. NO! COLLUSION!!”
Shrek Slanders, seen here lying, but hey, it’s her, so saying that seems redundant.
BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING …
Trump’s Lawyer Admits It Was Him
John Dowd, second rate lawyer for Hair Furor, and soon to be disbarred and imprisoned ex-lawyer, admitted today that is was he who was the voice on the Hollywood Access tape. As well, he admitted to being the person behind the Hindenburg disaster, the Lindbergh kidnapping, the disappearance of Amelia Earhart, the murder of J.R. Ewing, the death of reason, the Great Depression, chlamydia, lawn darts, the Real Housewives of Dallas, the fall of the Roman Empire, 90 Day Fiancé, and the betrayal of Jesus. He also claimed to be the person who “did all the pussy grabbing for Mr. Trump.” Mr. Dowd told the assembled press pool that “It was me, I did it all, the Glorious Leader, Sum Dim Phuc, is way too busy saving Christmas and making America great again to be doing that kind of stuff, and Mr. Trump, being a man of impeccable morals and brutal honesty, will be more than happy to testify to that in ANY court of law. Finally, I would just like to apologize to Mr. Trump, who truly is the real victim in all of this.”
BREAKING … Washington … Major announcement from the Trump Whiter House …
In a hastily called press conference today at the newly renamed ‘Whiter House’, the Glorious Leader, Sum Dim Phuc, the Velveeta Raccoon has just announced plans to name Wednesday, November 1st, 2017 as the first annual ‘National Bone Spur Awareness Day.’ According to Bad Touch Donnie the day will be a day set aside to honor the many brave ‘near-veterans’ that would have served their country with honor, bravery, distinction and no STD’s if it weren’t for “the horrible scourge known as bone spurs.” The resident then went on to brag say “I would have been a true hero, who was never captured, and the war would have been over way earlier due to my incredible bravery and manly things that I would have done, because I’m a real man, not one of those ones that gets caught, and even if I had by some amazing turn of events, been captured I, being a master negotiator, would have just cut a better deal and headed home, thereby ending the war.” “It will also be a day to heap praise on all the ‘near veterans’ with many standing O’s and much fawning, ass licking and oaths of undying fealty.”
…
In the middle of the Trump-tire-fire-clusterfuck-lie-a-minute-shitstorm-a-looza, some truth …
p.s. that teacher for president … or any 1 of those kids …
Trump Says That Transgender People Will Not Be Allowed in the Military
Transgender people show more courage when they leave their houses in the morning than you, Resident Rump, have shown in your entire fucking life.
So much for your promise to be an ally to the LGBTQ community. Just more lies, like everything else that falls outta your mouth.
#grifter #liar #bigot
Fuck you Donnie Bad Touch!
You clueless, ignorant, petty, immature, bigoted, old, lying prick.
Also worth noting: In 1948, on this very day, President Truman signed an executive order desegregating the United States military.
And now, a word from the President of the United States of America, Donnie Bad Touch.
Donald Trump is a con, a grifter, a fraud.
He has failed at everything he’s ever done, other than cheat, lie and backstab.
And now he has conned his way into the presidency and what does he deliver?
The astute businessman with the nerves of steel and the guile of a fox?
Nope.
A liar who is in WAY over his head.
The master negotiator at work at the G20 – picture really does kinda sum it all up doesn’t it?
Way to cut those deals Donnie.
Way to lead the way.
Oh well, at least he doesn’t have any email server problems …
Dodged a bullet on that one huh America? … phew …
BREAKING …
Trump replaces ‘fake Times cover’ pictures at golf courses after being told to by Time Inc.
The new picture that has been chosen to replace the fake Time covers was revealed today by the president during his daily “stroke the emperor” presser/cabinet meeting.
The replacement picture, taken at his inauguration:
They say a picture is worth a thousand words …
I’ll throw in a couple more words for the prez … Resign. Now.
WTFville Chronicle 