Some violence, nudity, gay penetrative but consensual sex, ‘water sports’, treason, doucherocketry, racism and strong language. 65+
Farce/Tragedy/Horror/SciFi/Adult
Warning: some pretty skeezy shit here, so set those PVR’s kids.
Rated ‘R’ for ridiculous | Ages 65 and up | 
Rumor had it that there would be a presser at the Whiter House this afternoon …
(I mean, they still do that, right?)
It spoke. Granted it was all lies and denials, but hey, it’s a start … at least it spoke.
Sarah Huckleberry Slanders: Let’s start with Jim Acosta from fake news CNN, Jim …
Jim Acosta: Sarah, thank you … I just have one ques—
Scary Huckleberry Slanders: I haven’t spoken to the president on that issue yet, so I think you’d have to ask Hillary Clinton… this is on her after all … and those Jew hating Dems …
Jim Acosta: I haven’t even asked a question Sarah … what does Hillary Clinton have to do with anything? And why would you say that the Dems—
Scary Huckleberry Slanders: I’m not here to do press for Hillary Clinton, you’ll have to ask her why she did that?
Jim Acosta: Did what?
Scary Huckleberry Slanders: I’m not going to play your socialist gotcha games any more Jim, this presser is over…the American people agree 100% with me about the Jews and the president’s penis AND balls are enormous and taste like honey …thank you everyone … <stomps off like the lumbering idiot she is>
The Shady Bunch is an American horror/farce created by renowned autocrat and sociopath Vladimir Putin that aired from November 8th, 2016, to T.B.A. on Fox. The series revolves around a large group of grifters who move from living in a gilded tower of hate in New York City to Washington D.C. when the ‘father’, with the assistance of a foreign power steals the 2016 American presidential election and sets out to rob the country of every last fucking dime it has while simultaneously destroying everything in his path.
Airing constantly ad nauseum on CNN and Fox Noise the story follows the misadventures and hijinks of a large family of thieves and liars united by an insatiable desire for money, power and attention.
On tonight’s episode … Melania is back, & she’s pissed; Rudy meets a porn star he CAN love (well, afford); Sean Hannity drops everything to cheer up Donnie who is very upset that Robert Mueller is “always stalking him”: Traitor tot & his moron brother get indicted & Ivanka grabs the family Rubles & breaks it to the family that she’s moving to Sochi to be with her new beau Vladdy. Jared finally give in to his innermost feelings and loses his virginity to ‘Mikey P’ while ‘Mother’ watches (Michael Pence makes a special guest appearance as ‘himself’); Donnie professes his love for Hannity the manatee. (Warning: Intimate scenes between Donnie and Sean NOT suitable for family viewing – actually, to be honest, none of this clusterfuck of a performance is.)
Some violence, nudity, gay penetrative but consensual sex, ‘water sports’, treason, doucherocketry, racism and strong language. 18+
Farce/Tragedy/SciFi/Adult
Warning: some pretty skeezy shit here, so set those PVR’s kids.
Rated ‘R’ for ridiculous | Ages 5 and up |
Shrek Slanders, aka Baghdad Boob, Scary Huckleberry Slanders, that lying b#%ch.
Born August 13, 1982 Shrek is an American campaign manager and political adviser who currently serves as the twenty-ninth White House Press Secretary to liar in chief, accused rapist and all around douche-rocket Bad Touch Donnie Scump. Shrek is a non-stop, compulsive liar, much in the mold of her father, long time GOP dog whistler and master baiter Mike ‘the fake preacher’ Huckabee, or as he’s known to those close to him, “Fuck Off Mike!”
Sister of renowned dog torturer/murderer David “here boy” Huckabee, Shrek grew up angry, alone and ‘home schooled ignorant.’ It is most certainly this stilted, pseudo Christian, home schoolin’ environment where Shrek got her unique fashion sense. Often credited with making picnic tablecloths as dresses fashionable once again in the evangelical cult known as today’s GOP Shrek is nothing if not stylin’.
Next up: Kellyanne Conway, alternative human.
Sarah ‘Shrek’ Slanders, seen here watching her life go down the toilet before today’s presser.
Choices girl, choices.
* Also: WTF are those gear thingys on Shrek’s shoulders? Inquiring minds wanna know.
Oh nooooees! Shrek is a skeered!
Sarah Sanders Is ‘Extremely Concerned’ For Being ‘Complicit’ In Covering Up Cohen Lies
Following Donald Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen’s confession on Tuesday of campaign finance violations, tax and bank fraud, some people in the president’s inner circle should be highly concerned, according to CNN contributor Symone Sanders.
Sanders pointed out at one person in particular, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who has taken part in keeping Trump’s lies about Cohen.
“It wasn’t just President Trump that lied about this. The entire orbit of the White House was involved in this intricate lie,” CNN’s Sanders said.
“So if I’m the press secretary, I’m extremely concerned about all of the lies that I’ve been complicit in telling,” she noted.
LOL
So, this just happened …
Shrek took to the stand for her daily bullshitapalooza and she said this …
Sarah Sanders: ‘I Can’t Guarantee’ There’s No Tape of Trump Using N-Word
And then striking the absolute final blow in the death of irony, Sarah Sanders attacked the media for giving too big of a platform to someone who doesn’t have any credibility.
Wow, just fucking wow.
All followed by the single greatest, and sadly, sure to be the most accurate, tweet of the day …
“Fuck me Mabel, these kids just ain’t right in the head.”
Who wore it better?
Ha!!! trick question …
Mimi’s shot was done by a pro photographer …
Sewer-rat Barbie looks to be taken from a hostage video.
p.s. I know, this was wrong …sorry.
p.p.s. coming soon: my Shrek Slanders “fashion tips 4 the workplace” spread …
p.p.p.s. I know … I’ll go now …
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NEW at the TRUMP STORE
Shrek Slanders, seen here lying, but hey, it’s her, so saying that seems redundant.
BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING … BREAKING …
The “psychotic pilgrim” seen here moments after being hit by several ‘sedative darts’
Capitol Police, the F.B.I. and several other local law enforcement agencies ‘scrambled’ to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue late this evening in response to an anonymous call that a “ranting, confused, obviously delusional and most likely under the influence pilgrim” had apparently stormed the Whiter House press room and was holding the podium hostage while ranting incoherently about Russians.
She was quickly subdued by Park Rangers using several sedative darts.
Park Ranger SWAT Team leader Rob Mooler told the assembled press outside that ”I’ve been doing this job for 37 years and let me tell you guys, that was some brawl. I’ve seen full grown grizzlies during rutting season drop using a quarter of what we used here tonight, but, everyone is safe and that’s what really matters.”
The woman has not yet been identified.
More info as it becomes available …
UPDATE …
The ‘psychotic pilgrim’ as the press is now calling her has been identified as one Scary Huckleberry Slanders, a local runaway and ne’er-do-well, known to authorities.
Whitehouse prepares to deny knowing who this Flynn character is. Scary Huckleberry Slanders is expected to say that “he is nothing more than a covfefe boy” and was “really only around for a very short time with no official title.”
BREAKING … Washington
Press secretary, pedophile defender and renowned liar Scary Huckleberry Slanders today revealed the newly renamed Whiter House’s Thanksgiving card for 2017. The card was apparently designed by the Glorious Leader, Sum Dim Phuc, himself while he was “presidentially putting ungrateful black people in their place yesterday morning on Twitter.”
Slanders then went on to say that “it was. without a doubt, the greatest Thanksgiving card ever, maybe even the greatest card of ANY kind,” and that “the people spoke, loud and clear, last November, and they said that President Trump was the card designer they wanted to make America great again, and that Hillary just needs to get over it once and for all.” She then regaled the press with a 35 minute tribute to “all the amazing things that the president has done for America … compared to what that last loser did!”, followed by 5 minutes of silent tribute “to the glorious leader,” before wrapping up the daily presser.
Scary Huckleberry Slanders at the newly renamed Whiter House presser tomorrow afternoon:
“I have a short statement regarding the ‘fake news’ that seemed to be swirling around the Whiter House while the President was on his historic, never before seen, majestically beautiful and God guided trip through Asia where he spent time with his favorite dictators and murderers. He also was able to spend some quality bonding (bondage?) time meeting with his mentor, idol and current lover Vladimir Putin in between greeting the tens, if not hundreds, of millions of adoring fans who lined the streets everywhere he went. These WERE the biggest crowds EVER to greet a president of the United States ANY WHERE at ANY TIME, period! And the crowds were literally thousands of times larger than any crowd that bla Obama guy got.
Anyways, my statement …
With regards to the latest fake news reports regarding this Donald J. Trump Jr. person.
Don Jr was a member of the Trump family for only a very, very short period of time. He was a volunteer, low level member who had no title, assigned duties or official position. We all know that he is, at best, a distant 3rd favorite to present wife Ivanka and a KFC Barrel, not necessarily in that order, and the Whiter house would contend that even Eric and very occasionally Tiffany were more favored by the Glorious Leader.
He would occasionally get covfefe and make copies. It was really low level involvement. And it was definitely NOT a Keurig. He was just a drifter that we allowed to sleep on the couch occasionally, and we’re really not sure that we’d recognize him even if we bumped into him in an elevator in the Whiter House residence. The president stands by his statement that it is nothing more than coincidence that he and ‘this grifter’ have a name that is somewhat similar, and that he is probably nothing more than a Clinton deep state ‘plant’ inserted into the Whiter House by Hillary URANIUM ONE! Clinton and Barrack HUSSEIN! Obama to destroy the new Emperor. The president has people, on the ground in Hawaii ,looking into this and apparently you won’t believe what they are finding. Also, that Michael Jackson impersonator you’ve all seen with the Emperor the last few months is actually his ‘wife’ and is NOT an escort (at least according to her lawyers). I hope that that finally clears that up for all of you members the corrupt, fake media. We will no longer be taking questions after the daily pressers as our lawyers have advised us that all this lying may actually come back to bite us on the ass during the imminent impeachment and criminal legal hearings.”
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This week’s episode of ‘Mueller’s Playhouse’ – “The Witness House Fills Up”
Saturday at 8 Central on RT TV
And now, a preview of this afternoon’s White House press briefing …
I know how much the MAGAts like to read, so here’s yesterday in pics…
Yer’ welcome …
…
and now a word from the Resistance …
kinda sums up the week so far huh?
WTFville Chronicle 