Thanks for the memories …

Published on June 10, 2022June 10, 2022 by BGLeave a comment

Unfortunately most great love affairs come to an end.
And then it just gets all ugly and angsty, and all those nasty things like ‘restraining orders’ and ‘statutes of limitations’ rear their ugly head.
Just when you thought you were done with the whole Heard/poop/cocaine/freak show/Depp thingy, here we fkn go again.
One of the greatest ~~lust~~ love stories of our time has hit the skids, or in this case, maybe it’s more like the skid marks..

Today on “Under The Bus Motherfucker! – The Ivanka Edition” …

This morning, the throw down …

and next up, no doubt, will be the ‘Tell All’ memoir …

Skeletor responds …

Yikes!

Raise a stink … at the Trump Store!

Published on March 15, 2022March 15, 2022 by BGLeave a comment

NOW YOU CAN OWN AND WEAR THE SAME SCENTS WORN BY THE VELVEETA RACCOON AND HIS GRIFTING FAMILY!

AND HERE THEY ARE!

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!
THIS!!! is the ONLY scent Big Daddy Scump wears, and it can be yours too!
Now, you too can smell just like a broke, lying, impotent, incontinent, old traitor!.
’SHROOM

The name really does say it all.
flaccid – Be Like Eric!

It’s finally here!
After years of painful therapy and counselling, Ivanka brings you her new perfume …
With a hint of daddy, a whiff of anger and just a touch of fear, Ivanka brings you …
Incest by Trump

Need we say more?
Skank – the closest thing to the true scent of a washed up Eurotrash rent a wife.
Wear it today, and start looking for your own goldmine!

And finally, a new ‘aroma’ by Cokey McTraitorson.
It has been described as a cross between a pungent, overtly musky gym bag and Jeanine Pirro after a particular violent, post-alcoholic-binge, vomitorium session. Some have even described it as “smelling like Dimberly Tinfoil after about six ‘Glorias’.”

MAGAts who purchase these fine odors may also like the ever-classic
Desperate Impotence – by Trump

Call Now

Ask for Ivanka

GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE!

Published on January 5, 2021January 5, 2021 by BG1 Comment

MAGAT ALERT!!!!!!!!

GET YER’ ASSES DOWN TO THE TRUMP STORE, NOW!

DON’T DELAY!

WE’RE GOING OUTTA BUSINESS, AND

EVERYTHING

MUST GO!!!

HERE’S JUST A FEW OF OUR GREAT DEALS …

PARDONS: 1/2 PRICE

AMBASSADORSHIPS:
$1,000,000.00 USD / 74,170,100.00 RUBLES

EXECUTIVE ORDERS: MAKE ME AN OFFER!

RIDES ON AIR FORCE ONE: LOWEST PRICES EVER!

AIR FORCE ONE: MAKE ME AN OFFER!!!

NEED A SMALL COUNTRY OVERTHROWN BEFORE JANUARY 20, 2021? – CALL US NOW!

Vanky 2020

Published on November 24, 2020 by BGLeave a comment

Was doing a ‘collection’ piece, but, hey, hey, it’s suddenly all but over for the Scumps, daddy and Vanky are probs off to jail soon, and so, I’ll just drop this here … man, I’ll be glad to wake up one day knowing these treasonous, grifting pieces of cylindrical, extruded human waste are gone and jailed. Soon.

Until then, may I offer you

“The 2020 Vanky Collection”

Moments

Published on July 29, 2020July 29, 2020 by BGLeave a comment

@realDonaldTrump @FLOTUS and @IvankaTrump

starring in …

“Moments”

Episode 1 “The Kidney Supply Is About To Run Dry!”

a Quinn Fartin Production

And Coming in January!

Our extra special 2020 wrap up show …

Little Donnie Half Scoop: From the White House to the Bigly House … in …

“DADDY!!! LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME!!! PLEASE???”
”My rise from cofveve boy to attention seeking media whore.”

Trump Store News … THEY’RE HERE!

Published on June 17, 2020June 17, 2020 by BGLeave a comment

to the “Bunker King Collection”

(from our Fine ‘Double-wide Art’ catalog)

We told you it would soon also available in the finest black velveteen, and dayglo finishes …

And …

HERE THEY ARE!

The OG “Bootin’ It With Pooty”

NEW … ‘VELVETEEN’ MAGA HEAVEN “Bootin’ It With Pooty”
(made from the finest Russian scraps – just like the acting president is!)

NEW … DAYGLO MAGA HEAVEN “Bootin’ It With Pooty”

ORDER YOURS TODAY!
LIMITED SUPPLY!
CALL AND ASK FOR IVANKA TO SET UP PRIVATE SHOWINGS
(LIKE DADDY GETS … KINDA)

People who bought these items also purchased these fine Trump Store goods …

and while you and your MAGAt buds are shopping at our WHITER HOUSE^R location, you might wanna grab a quick meal at our in house Trump McBurgeria Buffet & Vomitorium!

AND, for only $100,000.00 USD (CASH ONLY, no credit cards or cheques) the glorious leader himself, Dim Donnie Two Scoops, will come chow down like an oversized pig at a trough with you and yer’ sister wives, escorts, Russian hookers* and daughter-wives! Providing you’re buying of course.

*Automatic 20% Discount.

NOTE: OUR NEW OFFICIAL MAILING ADDRESS IS
1600 BLACK LIVES MATTER PLAZA, Washington, D.C.

RVing with the Trumps … weather permitting

Published on June 5, 2020 by BGLeave a comment

At the daily stop on his life long bullshit and self-aggrandizement tour today, acting president Trump says he wants to travel around in “one of those trailers.” He asked what they are called. and someone tells him “an RV”.. “I think I’m going to buy an RV and travel around with our first lady.” The guy who’s scared to leave the house and terrified of rain is gunna do what???
We can pretty much guarantee that it will turn into a weekly reality show. Sort of a cross between “Locked Up” and “Deliverance” is my guess.

The Dreams of Javanka … the plot is born.

Published on June 3, 2020June 3, 2020 by BGLeave a comment

CHAPTER ONE …
Javanka knew that they would have to wait for “their time”, but, somehow, it felt closer now than it ever had before.
They would finally own ALL the debt, gold plated trailer park art, oversized velvet paintings, bedbug ridden rub and tug facilities and gilded ‘tack’ that dim Donnie Two Scoops had amassed in a lifetime of grifting, lies and the pursuit of syphilis.
Soon, it would be all theirs!
Javanka Unit #2 felt aroused.

NEW! at the Trump Store

Published on May 31, 2020 by BGLeave a comment

You might also enjoy this fine Trump brand product …

ONLY AVAILABLE

AT

A boy can dream …

Published on February 26, 2020February 26, 2020 by BGLeave a comment

You can’t always get what you want

But if you try sometimes, well, you might find

You get what you need …

Jagger/Richards 1969

Perspectives …

Published on January 2, 2020January 2, 2020 by BGLeave a comment

Who Wore It Best?

Published on September 4, 2019September 4, 2019 by BGLeave a comment

THIS WEEK’S PAIRING IS A SISTER WIVES KINDA DEAL …

SORTA …

IN A REALLY CREEPY ‘TRUMPY’ KINDA WAY.

CORRECTION: In the above picture I mistakenly identified the critter on the right as Worst Lady Melamine Scump when, in fact, it is legendary Canadian soft pop vocalist Celine Dion, who also attended the event. My bad.

The correct picture, that of the Worst Lady, that should have been used.
Again, my deepest apologies to everyone concerned.

BIGLY Announcement!

Published on August 11, 2019 by BGLeave a comment

— NOW OPEN —

DUMBFORD AND SONS

OUR NEW D.C. LOCATION

Our newest location: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington, D.C
All the grift and skeezy, low-life behaviour you’ve come to know over the past 4 decades with two scoops O’ stupid and a twist of treason tossed in for good measure!

Same great scams!

Same great lies!

COME ON DOWN!

ОТКРЫТИЕ В БЛИЖАЙШЕЕ ВРЕМЯ!!!!

Наше новое местоположение: 1600 Пенсильвания авеню, Вашингтон, округ Колумбия Все бесцеремонное и скупое поведение с низким уровнем жизни, которое вы узнали за последние 4 десятилетия, с двумя дурацкими ложками О и дурным тоном измены!
Это же отличные мошенничества!
Это же великая ложь!

MAKE AMERICA GROPE AGAIN!

WOO HOO! The emperor has new clothes!!!

Published on July 3, 2019 by BGLeave a comment

Trump To Introduce New ‘Presidential Attire at ‘Trump Day’ Parade

Washington. Resident Scump announced this morning that he will be unveiling his “tremendously strong and most magnificent ever Trump Imperial Clothing Line ^TM” during this year’s first ever ‘Donald Trump Day.’
Bullshit Barbie, Skeletelanne Conway, acting spokesdemon and head hate elf for the Ministry of Demonstrable Falsehoods, shrilly and condescendingly explained to the press that “The holiday was formerly known as Independence Day, but seeing as their will no longer actually be any independence due to the merger between America and Putin Industries ^TM the president felt that this would be the perfect day to roll out his new gear. And furthermore, there is no way that I am going to let the fake media politicize this amazing moment by the most important and well hung president ever, so there will be NO QUESTIONS FOR YOU JIM ACOSTA AND YOUR FAKE AND VERY SOCIALIST, SOME WOULD SAY COMMUNIST, HILLARY LOVIN’ MEDIA! … GAWDDAMMIT JIM, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!!” The resident’s spokes thing then climbed aboard her broom and ‘POOF!’ she was gone. Everyone in attendance looked around as she flew away, but alas, Jim Acosta was nowhere to be seen. Upon checking in with HR over at CNN it was noted that Jim had been in New Orleans all day and had no idea why “that cray cray bitch was screaming about me.”

The resident’s new Trump ^TMbrand “Glorious Leader Dress Uni ^TM” that he will wear for official gatherings such as public lynchings, Klan rallies, mass deportation hearings, self masturbatory military parades and the executions of his political rivals.

The resident will also unveil his new Trump^TM brand loungewear, from daughter-wife Iskanka’s new Bad-touch Daddy^TM line, hot off the assembly line at her head office at Iskankawear ^TM in Bangladesh.

Trump spokesliar and full time ‘shroom slurper Rudy “911!!!” Ghouliani also previewed the new “Trump ^TM2020 ‘Big Cheese’ line of residential apparel”, a line that pays tribute to the “orangeness that is He” …

London Calling

Published on June 4, 2019June 4, 2019 by BGLeave a comment

“I don’t really give a fuck how much you paid for the new ‘kidneys’. Next time she wears a bra or you leave her at home. This is Buckingham Palace, NOT Maralagofuckyerself. Got it, pal? And tell her to stop smiling at me like that before I punch that fuckin’ smile all the way back to whatever shithole you two grifters rolled in from. K?”

Queen: What did you say happened to your first several wives?
Trump: I ate them, why do you ask?

Always hating to be outshone, Fat Donnie McTraitorson declared himself to be ‘Burger King of America’ and took his rightful place beside the Queen as he once again regaled the crowd with his wonderous tales of electoral college victory and passed out electoral maps to the kids.

It was that moment that daughter-wife Ivanka realized that her new ‘Sanitary Pads Chic’ hat line was probably doomed to fail miserably like all her other business attempts had.

I for one can’t wait for the new ‘Omen’ sequel. It looks scary AF!

Not wanting his wife to feel foolish Jared made everyone wear a hat from his wife’s new hat line. But it didn’t work because once she gets a pout on, only some ‘executive time’ with daddy and a big bag of stolen money would snap her out of it.

Everyone came from miles around, even Diaper Donnie, Lord of Douchebaggia showed up.

“So, that new daughter in law is nasty huh? I mean, I’d do her, but, she naas-tee!”

“I already grabbed some towels and a small painting, when she looks away grab that crown!”

Queen Elizabeth: ‘It’s okay to poop oneself at your age, Philip does it all the time, please help yourself to one of our free ‘Incontinent on the Continent Grampers™’.”

“I’m alright thanks, it’s just my new Trump Brand ‘Presidential Lifts’™, I’m not really leaning, I’m just getting taller. No-one can believe how tall I am. Nobody’s ever been this tall before. Not like that tiny little Obama … MAGA Lifts, Making Assholes Grow Again.”

NEW … at the Trump Store … Just Arrived!

Published on May 1, 2019December 9, 2019 by BGLeave a comment

THE DIM DONNIE TWO SCOOPS BOOK CLUB

…………………

THIS MONTH’S FEATURED BOOK

…………………

TINY HANDS, TINY DICK, TINY BRAIN … FAT DONNIE TWO SCOOPS IS TREMENDOUSLY AND STRONGLY VIBRANT AND TRIUMPHANT IN THIS HOMO-EROTIC THRILLER ABOUT A MAN WITH NO SOUL WHO MARRIES A MICHAEL JACKSON IMPERSONATOR FROM SLOVENIA, ONLY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A SHORT, FAT, NARCISSISTIC NORTH KOREAN DENNIS RODMAN FANBOY AND COOL HAIR ENTHUSIAST NAMED SUM DIM PHUC OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.

AND STILL, HE PINES FOR VLADDY, SWEET, SWEET VLADDY.

NEW RELEASES !!!

NEW at the Trump Store ..

Published on April 28, 2019April 28, 2019 by BGLeave a comment

THE FAT DONNIE TWO SCOOPS BOOK CLUB

This month’s selections include …

NOW SHOWING

Published on March 29, 2019 by BGLeave a comment

It’s finally here MAGAts!!!

A love story you can call your own!

The Donald Trump Story!

The Heist

Published on January 3, 2019 by BGLeave a comment

NOW SHOWING

At the movies …

Published on November 29, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

Now Showing!

What’s on tonight

Published on November 29, 2018November 29, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

The Shady Bunch is an American horror/farce created by renowned autocrat and sociopath Vladimir Putin that aired from November 8th, 2016, to T.B.A. on Fox. The series revolves around a large group of grifters who move from living in a gilded tower of hate in New York City to Washington D.C. when the ‘father’, with the assistance of a foreign power steals the 2016 American presidential election and sets out to rob the country of every last fucking dime it has while simultaneously destroying everything in his path.
Airing ~~constantly~~ ad nauseum on CNN and Fox Noise the story follows the misadventures and hijinks of a large family of thieves and liars united by an insatiable desire for money, power and attention.

On tonight’s episode … Melania is back, & she’s pissed; Rudy meets a porn star he CAN love (well, afford); Sean Hannity drops everything to cheer up Donnie who is very upset that Robert Mueller is “always stalking him”: Traitor tot & his moron brother get indicted & Ivanka grabs the family Rubles & breaks it to the family that she’s moving to Sochi to be with her new beau Vladdy. Jared finally give in to his innermost feelings and loses his virginity to ‘Mikey P’ while ‘Mother’ watches (Michael Pence makes a special guest appearance as ‘himself’); Donnie professes his love for Hannity the manatee. (Warning: Intimate scenes between Donnie and Sean NOT suitable for family viewing – actually, to be honest, none of this clusterfuck of a performance is.)

Some violence, nudity, gay penetrative but consensual sex, ‘water sports’, treason, doucherocketry, racism and strong language. 18+
Farce/Tragedy/SciFi/Adult
Warning: some pretty skeezy shit here, so set those PVR’s kids.

Rated ‘R’ for ridiculous | Ages 5 and up |

Treason’s Greetings

Published on November 29, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

White House Releases Trump Family Xmas Card

Ruh Roh!

Published on November 20, 2018November 20, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

Lock her up ???

Now available …

It’s on!!!

Published on November 13, 2018November 14, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

Just announced …

THIS is the one you’ve all been waiting for Kids …

Place your bets and LET’S GET READYYYYYYYY TO RUMMMMMMBLE!!!

NEW at the Trump Store …

Published on November 1, 2018November 2, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

JUST ARRIVED

ALSO AVAILABLE

VERY LIMITED QTY’s AVAILABLE

The tremendous, amazing, best ever, some say the greatest ever, many people are saying that, believe me, super-duper, extra special, not quite one of a kind, Autographed Edition. Like way better than anything Obama ever did. Not even close.
Believe me. Everybody’s saying that it’s better. Even the haters. Let me tell ya’.

Each box painstakingly hand signed by the Glorious Leader Sum Dim Phuc all by himself during ‘executive time.’ (in between Faux and Fiends and ‘CHEESEBURGER TIME!!’)

#TakeThatStankToTheBank

xxxxx

This land was made for you and me … but not these guys … definitely not these guys …

Published on October 31, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

Caravan of immigrants now believed to be heading towards the United States.
Note:the one known as Traitor Tot (second from left) looks kinda middle eastern if ya’ ask me.

IMMIGRATION UPDATE:
just in case anyone’s keeping score …

Fred KKK Trump – immigrant
Mary Trump (she of the huge hair) – immigrant
Fat Donnie, a.k.a. The Glorious Leader, Sum Dim Phuc – anchor baby
Melania, a.k.a. Melanie, a.k.a. the soon to be ex- Mrs. Trump, a.k.a. ‘The Escort’ – immigrant
Barron (named after one of his pappies scams – how sentimental) – anchor baby
Melania’s parents – chain migration
Ivana – immigrant
The soon to be indicted Don Jr – anchor baby
Eric (“I like trucks, Gary Busey is NOT my pappy! … is he??”) – anchor baby
Sister wife Ivanka, a.k.a. Moscow Barbie – anchor baby

Trump is right, they’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.

Seeing as Tiffany is the only one in the entire herd that appears to be okay if Fat Donnie pulls off his ‘immigration/14th amendment/whites only please’ plans, she is probably gunna be real lonely when the whole band of gypsy grifters is deported, but hey, at least she won’t be going to prison and she won’t have to hang with these a-holes any longer, so that’s good huh Tiff?.

Trump snips

Published on October 16, 2018October 16, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

Tuesday snips … The first rule of White Club …

Published on October 2, 2018 by BGLeave a comment

“Yes dear, yes we most certainly are …unless Mueller will cut me a deal, then, yes dear, you and those two guys claiming to be my sons are going to prison.”