… and it looks a lot like this.
Tag: russia
A Day In the Life: Espionagealago Edition
It’s been a hella shit week for the soon to be late Russian asset(stay away from Russians, tea and windows Donnie) …
and it just seems to get worse by the minute.
The crowds are thinning somewhat at the latest “Hatefest in a Field”® Nazi get togethers, and while the campaign(?) maintains that “the crowds are in the tens of thousands with long lines of thousands more just outside, unable to get in”, the reality is that you’ll get more people for a Junior C hockey game, on a Wednesday night, when it’s –43 C, in North Buttfuck, Alberta, with the local lads taking on the local volunteer fire department, than the Velveeta Raccoon has seen at any of his pestilence promenades in months.
And, you can hear it in that lil’ bitch, whiny, sing-songy, condescending, “I’m a giant fucking asshole, and proud of it!” voice he does when he slips into his Shecky Scump routine, during his 2 hour plus victimhood diatribes and anthems of impotence tour.
Ever since they made public (ONLY because he’s an insecure, attention whoring dimwit who can’t shut his fucking mouth) that he STOLE Top Secret dox and stuff and was keeping them in Melania’s panty drawer and some other dank, dark box, he’s been even more creepily twitchy and lie-ey than usual. He’s become a walking, talking (okay, mostly whining) poster boy for the old “You scared, bro? You seem scared” meme.
Ex-White House squatter, Komrade McLiarson, seen here at his latest ‘Rally’
lie-bragging and whining like the little bitch he is. (hover pic for descriptions/credits)
The week also saw the introduction of the newest line from the Trump Store with the sneak peak/tease of his new line of Depend Undergarments for Really Big Hombres (over 239 LBs). Big boy showed off the new Trump approved line of men’s nasty wear, and brought the full load (he always was a show off) to his latest liefestbullshitacusapalooza on whatever obscure TV channel(?) he’s being shown on these days.
.
The diaper wasn’t the only thing he floated during the interview as he repeatedly hinted that he may run again in 2024.
and because Putin has the tapes …
Oh=, and let’s not forget the whole State Secret Salesman of the Year, winner for 2022,
and potentially 5 years running (AG Merrick Garland is reviewing the ‘ratings’ as we speak) .
And, of course, the week ended as it always does …
with the Grift O’ the Day .
Trunt-Pac presents “Douchecon ‘22”
Tickets available soon, providing Ginni isn’t in prison … fingers crossed!
And it’s ON!!
Nine time winner of the Douchebag of the Year AND Douchebag Apocalypse Outstanding Performer of the Year, renowned, exiled New York bankruptcy performance artist Donald J (Jobless) Trump is again hinting that he will run for president in the 2024 presidential election. No mention of who his running grifter will be yet, although my money is on Marsha ‘Big Hair’ Permstack, Sarah Failin, 4 time New York State Fair Swine Ball Removal Champion, Elise Stefanik, or his next wife, Ivanka Trump
Heroes
The world owes these brave souls exactly what they gave us …
Everything they had.
and just so no-one forgets that the enemy is Vladimir Putin, NOT the people of Russia …
Ukraine
If you’re a believer, say a prayer.
If you’re not, send all the good thoughts and vibes you can.
If you can lend a hand, please do..
Just don’t let this disappear into the news.
Meanwhile, over on Earth 2 …
Meanwhile, down at Maralagofuckyerself, or Bedbugminster, or wherever the fuck the twice impeached, two time loser of the popular vote, perpetually broke morally AND financially, 4 time UNAIMOUS winner of “Worst President Ever!”, morbidly obese,bankruptcy artist and serial sexual assaulter, Donald J Scump, (‘J’ for JOBLESS) is hiding from law enforcement these days …
Mood: ”Feeling cute today … might just go start a civil war or something.”
Do svidaniya i spasibo za nalichnyye!
*Goodbye, and thanks for the cash!
Friday morning, coming down …
Just woke up, walked into the living room with my morning caffeine product, flipped on the TV to catch my morning news, and spent the next 20 minutes watching in abject horror. There were Russians everywhere, corruption at the highest levels of government, lying politicians everywhere, gun violence that was off the charts and the ever creeping authoritarian rule that has come to America.
It was 20 minutes or so of some of the most gut wrenching, terrifying horror show I can imagine.
But then, Patrick Swayze stood up, rifle raised like a fanatical Chuck Heston at an NRA meeting and shouted:
“W O L V E R I N E S !!!!!
‘… and I knew everything would be okay.
Happy Friday my friends. Hang in there, we’re getting through this shit, I promise.
Trump to skip Biden Inauguration
MOSCOW Ex acting-president of the United States, Donald J. Trump announced just now at a hastily called, surprise press conference at Moscow Domodedovo Airport that he will be unable to attend the “illegal inauguration” of Joe Biden as he will be indisposed due to a previous commitment. In related news, when told of Trump’s sudden departure to Russia, Trump lawyer, confidant, long time friend , and some people say, lover, Rudy 911iani, stammered, spit and wept uncontrollably until his care givers hustled him into a waiting Uber and sped away.
Presidential Update (v. 25.4.45)
Moscow – Representatives of American president Vladimir Putin announced that his acting ‘American president’ Donald Trump would receive his annual software/hardware update today. Today’s update is to correct problems with Trump’s loose teeth, re-spray his outer shell, make some much needed colorectal adjustments to make room for Mark Meadows, Sean Hannity AND Lindsey Graham “in there”, and also to install his new scalp-mounted “Russian/Broken English” toggle, allowing him to more quickly deliver his daily briefings to PutinCorpR head office, and completely negate the need for anyone other than Mr. Putin and his stooge to be in the room “to communicate in privacy without any nasty and time consuming interruptions from Secret Service, NSA or other American interference” according to new Trump national security spokesman Jon Voigt.
Trump shows off his new “Russian/Broken English” language toggle. (a PutinCorpR product)
Opening Night …
Tonight …
PRESENTED by FAUX NOISE
“We just make shit up!” …
The world premiere …
CON-MEN – ORIGINS
MAGAts, get yer’ moms to set your alarms!
DO NOT MISS THIS MUST SEE EVENT!
Buy 4 or more tix for you AND your daughter-wives and receive a free life-time membership to DIM DONNIE DOTARD’S ‘WHITE CLUBR”
Also, EVERYONE who pledges complete and utter subservience to King Donald will receive their very own bottle of DESPERATE IMPOTENCE by TrumpTM
Smell just like Trump and “Take that stank to the bank”
USE SECRET SALES CODE “FAT FASCIST” and receive an extra bottle absolutely FREE!
OPEN HOUSE!
Now that that pesky impeachment thing is almost done Dongald and Melamine Scump would like to invite you to the grand opening of “Kremlin West” …
Russia Calling
#PutinsCucks
NEW! At The Trump Store
Just in … the new book from Trump sycophant and turd polisher, Lindsey O Graham (R-SC)
NEW! Today!
BREAKING … “Angry old bigot backs angry, old bigot”
Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) on Tuesday said President Trump is absolutely right to call the House impeachment process a “lynching.”
“This is a lynching in every sense. This is un-American,” Graham said to reporters.
I wonder what it is that Trump has on this guy …
Hmmm …
Puzzling indeed …
BREAKING …
WASHINGTON The Trump White House has released their “Really, really, really important executive order” of the day …
Dim Donnie Dotard seen here holding up his now famous “Menu of the Day”
BREAKING …
Moments ago, on the south lawn of the ‘Trump Whiter HouseTM’ …
Donald Trump, alleged president, draft dodger and renowned coward, seen here showing off his most recent Middle East peace plan, which mostly entails leaving American allies to die for his own personal profit.
The Week So Far …
and it’s only fucking Monday!
Trump 2020 ???
Is this the White House Y’all want in 2020?
BIGLY Announcement!
— NOW OPEN —
DUMBFORD AND SONS
OUR NEW D.C. LOCATION
Our newest location: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington, D.C
All the grift and skeezy, low-life behaviour you’ve come to know over the past 4 decades with two scoops O’ stupid and a twist of treason tossed in for good measure!
Same great scams!
Same great lies!
COME ON DOWN!
ОТКРЫТИЕ В БЛИЖАЙШЕЕ ВРЕМЯ!!!!
Наше новое местоположение: 1600 Пенсильвания авеню, Вашингтон, округ Колумбия Все бесцеремонное и скупое поведение с низким уровнем жизни, которое вы узнали за последние 4 десятилетия, с двумя дурацкими ложками О и дурным тоном измены!
Это же отличные мошенничества!
Это же великая ложь!
MAKE AMERICA GROPE AGAIN!
NEW At The Trump Store!
Just arrived in time for your next MAGAt Klan rally!!!
This is the same hair color that the Glorious Leader Sum Dim Phuc uses.
And now you can use it too!
Get your hair looking just like Fat Donnie’s with new
Russian Formula “Urine Trouble Gold” by ‘2 Girls, 1 Room’ – Special Russian Formula.
Get yours NOW!!! While supplies last!!!
Only available at:
What’s it doing today?
Episode # 666 – ♪♫♬ Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran! ♬♪♫
Trump Admin Inflated Iran Intel, U.S. Officials Say
John Bolton and other Team Trump hawks are trumpeting intelligence that Tehran is readying attacks on U.S. forces. They’re exaggerating the threat so as to distract from a flailing and failing presidency” officials tell The Daily Beast.
Hmmm … sounds a lot like “John Bolton and other Team Bush hawks are trumpeting intelligence that Iraq is readying attacks on U.S. forces. They’re exaggerating the threat so as to distract from a flailing and failing presidency.”
And, of course there’s a tweet for everything with this asshole.
WTFVille Weekly … “COMING SOON!”
COMING SOON!
(yup, really bad choice of words – you’ll see)
Doing your own thing is now gunna cost ya’ …
Okay, this one is a couple weeks old, but I just discovered it and wanted to make note …
You just can’t make this shit up …
The next time yer’ pullin’ one off for Jesus, it’s gunna cost ya’ $20 kids.
Apparently we’re all gunna MAGA by wankin’ our way to a wall.
I’m betting Hannity and Cucker and those incels over at Fox News could jerk that wall into existence in less than a week. King of the Incels Cucker Carlson alone could ‘build that wall’ all by himself in 3-4 days tops. And, why are these nut jobs always from Arizona?
WTF Arizona? Aim higher!
The big question we all have here is: “Will Mexico be paying for ‘the porn’?
We’re gunna need some fucking clarification here people!
I’m so confused and I might have a PayPal account to load up …
I just know there’s some ‘Our pal Jeebus’ stuff goin’ on here …
I can’t prove it, I just know it …
In a related story Donald Trump has decided on his yard signs for 2020:
These people are scaring me mommy, make them go away!
New Trump Book ..
When prominent GOP hate elf Jefferson Beauregard Sessions lll told his good buddy resident Scump that a Special counsel had been appointed, the President slumped back in his chair and said, “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I’m fucked. Everyone tells me if you get one of these independent counsels, it ruins your presidency. It takes years and years and I won’t be able to do anything. This is the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
Well, we can only hope so Donnie …
Now, the book that tells the ENTIRE sordid, perverted, treasonous story …
The fat shady has sung …
“From Russia with love, I fly to you
Much wiser since my treason with you
I’ve travelled the world to learn
I must return to blow up another investigation
From Russia with love …”
Trump / Pence 2020 … the shitshow begins.
The new Trump / Pence 2020 ad materials have dropped!
And here they are!
COMING SOON
The new movie from Vladdy Putin Inc.
“I couldn’t stop cumming!”
Rush Limpballs for KKK Radio Networks
“I couldn’t start cumming!”
Kimberly ‘gold-digger’ Guilfoyle
“What’s cumming?”
Cucker Carlson
“If anybody’s cumming, that’ll be $350 extra – CASH ONLY pal!”
Melamine Scump
“How long are we going to prison for?”
Iskanka Scump
“I like trucks!”
Eric Trump
“I want my fucking money NOW Don! The kids food doesn’t buy itself you lying, cheating, homewrecking, tiny dicked motherf%$&er!!! And don’t bring that skank Scumberly anywhere near my kids again or I swear to God Donnie …”
Vanessa Trump
“He only worked for me for a very, very short time, I barely knew the guy, I think he was an errand boy or something like that.”
Donald J Scump, resident of the United States
Witch Hunt …
La Guardia airport was shut down this morning for a while and the official word was that it was because of staffing shortages. We have proof here that that was just fake news. The real reason La Guardia and other airports were temporarily closed was because the skies were full of Trump associates fleeing the Mueller probe, endangering any flights in the area.
Mystery solved.
’Yer welcome.
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WTFville Chronicle 